SPLwankwankwank

My sympathies are very much with yourself, them and their families and I'm sure everyone on this board will feel the very same.

Sound of tyres screeching as the next slide comes into view

Powerpoint! The new overhead projector. Every fucking training course you go on now features ill prepared fucking Powerpoint presentations. Fucking Powerpoint! b*****ds!!!

Really? Can't say I noticed, too many other 'distractions' in that area to bother looking as high as the ceiling

It's a long strip of land covered in tarmac - the middle land. Thick folk call it the middle lane

If men weren't busy swerving all over the road avoiding bloody wummin drivers we'd be involved in less accidents. Oh look there's a car in the middle land of the motorway needlessly, I wonder if it's a woman

WARNING! WARNING! STALKER ALERT!!!

Why edit it?

Aye the planet! And people who are too lazy to sort baskets out!!! Someone puts their basket on the pile and the handle falls over thus preventing the next person from putting their basket on top. They're then too lazy to simply lift the handle out the way and place theirs in so they just toss it on the bloody floor for everyone to kick around. b*****ds!

Actually another thing. Bloody petrol station attendants! How fucking hard can it be to hear your console bleeping to let you know someone has removed the nozzle, check they're not going to douse themselves in petrol, then press 'confirm' or whatever they press to start the pump. Yet the glaikit fuckers stand there staring into space no doubt thinking what shoes they're going to buy at the weekend or whatever and do not press the bloody button while you stand in the freezing cold. Oh and those 'Pay At Pump' card readers are shite as well.

None of this excuses staff chatting away or worse than that wearing their hair down. When I go to the supermarket I expect high standards and staff who look professional and well kempt hair. Ladies should have it slicked back nice and tight, up in a bun with loads of kirby grips and a net, nice brown one at that, over it. This goes for all staff at all departments. I shall demand it from all managers at all supermarkets, especially those in the Perth area

Self Service is shite. I scan booze - need to wait for someone to check I have pubes. I scan reduced items - doesn't recognise it 'cause some other fucker hasn't done their job properly! Takes ages for the items to get off the fucking scales/conveyor before you can put the next one on! Items with security tags - need to get a memeber of staff again and they're too busy talking shite to their colleagues. Card wont scan! Why the f**k not it just scanned alright in your petrol station forecourt?! They're bollocks unless you only have two items. Fucking staff should be sat quietly with their hair up in a bun and hairnet!!! Even the guys!

The Departed - Quality Da Vinci Code - Watchable

Queen - Greates Hits

Yes but at least she's making a career out of it. You on the other hand get regular beastings from family members, uncles mainly (and their friends) and don't get a penny. I feel for you

No. She sent me it as a gift as she's in it

Private Gold Sex City XXX. It was a well shot and produced movie where every scene had quite a dramatic ending

There ye go Kilt

Sentinel It's pish.

Oh don't worry, that wont stop them

Time to change Jobs?

REBEL!

Do a Sinead O'Connor protest, off with the lot of it!!! I'll clip it for you and P&B punters can sponsor you with proceeds going to whatever charity. Oh and by the way, there are people starving across the world you know. Relax

Methinks your Warning Level is about to go up somewhat

I'm sorry that's my fault. I remember being amazed that people did this the first time I flew. As such as it began to fall by the wayside with more and more people getting used to flying more often I do it at every opportunity to see how many fannies join in. Every time