Arthur Orton

Na, that's Ian Paisley.

I have just seen the allocated test grounds for next years fixtures and again a massive kick in the baws for Northern cricket fans. We have the obligatory three tests in London, one in that easily accessible cricketing mecca that is Cardiff, one at Trent Bridge and one at Edgbaston. Only Headingly has a test at the end of May, while Durham misses out for the second year running. It looks like Old Trafford despite being a good venue is only going to get tests every other year, and Durham is getting royally shafted. Why can't they occasionally miss out the Oval, or heavens forbid only give Lords one test per summer (yes I know tourists love to play at Lords), as right now cricketing fans in the North are getting a right royal shafting. The allocation of tests is decidedly unfair, and with the Rose Bowl, getting added to the list we fans in the North will have considerably fewer options in future years to watch Test cricket. Furthermore the ECB are charging clubs an absolute fortune to host tests meaning us the fans are getting hammered at the ticket office, not to mention the recent trend in developing five day make as much cash as you can wickets. It's a dear couple of days at the cricket now. Anyway back to today's play, where the wicket should do something so hopefully Cook will put them in if he wins the toss. Broad should have a big impact on this surface, and hopefully Buttler will have a good debut.

Seeing as you're a sprog you can be in charge of fetching the beer for us old timers.

More importantly SJC, I have a question. Adlington, Confi and I want to know when the middle aged boys barge trip is?

You're welcome sailor.

He could let you have a ride on it. Imagine that, a Viking back on the waters of Scotland after all these years.

Reported for soiling a great thread with your presence landlubber. You should be made to clean the bilges laddie, before either walking the plank or being keelhauled around the entire fleet of Edinburgh's canal barges.

Definitely, it's the P&B version of Groundhog Day.

Especially as the majority of his posts are in the BRALT thread, a thread that has now become more painful than being stuck in Dante's nine circles of hell.

Nah mate just a wee bit dull.

Aye it helped to numb the pain.

That's what happens when you spend the winter hiding in Cargo. Fish Supper oot the Pentland Fryer on Friday.. Not bad.

This. Darts is better viewing having those two competitive. It's quite hard to tell with MVG as he looks bonkers at the best of times.

You should have leapt out the van with your banhammer

Did that diagnosis take your breath away?

A great game to be followed by two of the most boring characters in the history of darts. Wake me up in half an hour please.

Six and that was more luck than anything. Can't believe my knowledge of Japanese literature is so poor.

You probably improved it,

Was he Greek?

It's Tubize v AS Eupen on Friday night for me and the lads in the Belgium second division then Saturday night is Cercle Brugge v Gent. Basically it's two nights of drinking and away from families

Were the cans and bottle empty?

Exactly. Eoin Doyle is not to be left in charge of navigation.

Good luck doing that trip skipper

Yes, watch it immediately after a meal. HTH.