smpar

Ian Black's a c**t. Mind he started his pish years ago at EEP when he was at inverness, IIRC he 'started' about 5 on-field scraps and escaped a booking every time. A player of his cuntiness proportions would need the ability to match before it'd be a worthwhile signing, but he's utter dug meat as a footballer, so it's an overwhelming GTF from me.

Cooking dinner while having a couple of beers and listening to Transformer by Lou Reed. Therapeutic as f**k, man. The simple things.

Been on several placements at primary schools and any new-starts/probationers at the school (jokingly) try to talk you out of it, making out that's it's hell on earth, whereas I've never had a more 'senior' teacher say such things. I don't know if it's a professionalism thing or whatever, but I've also spoken to others on my course who have had similar experiences on their placements.

Probably the most affluent area in the town, yes, though it's a trek if you're in the town centre, where there are dozens of decent pubs within close proximity of each other. I reckon the only folk who'd go there besides matchday for a few pints would be the folk staying in the Garvock area.

That's what made it funny; that there was a great atmosphere in our end, especially after the first goal. However poor Bob just couldnae get that wee chorus going.

Re Pars fans, the biggest embarrassment I witnessed was Rob1885 trying to start the "Joe, Joe, super Joe" chant but having to complete a full solo attempt as nobody else joined in.

Loaned some money out to a mate last year and he said that he'd pay it by April, still no sign of it. p***k.

Did anyone hear what was said towards Coult? He got absolute pelters, particularly in the first half and was laughing at some of the shouts. At one of the chants he actually sang along, he didn't exactly look like a guy who had heard the sort of thing he claims to have heard. Saying that, I'd be utterly embarrassed if those things had been said, as that's just scumbag behaviour and horrific 'banter.' I hope it isn't true but we do have a number of c***s in our support.

As well as Cardle and Paton hitting the woodwork.

Really enjoyable performance there. I've seen fewer halves that were as one-sided as that first half, goals were all taken well and we rarely made a mistake until we went 3-0 whereby we were a bit more slack and didn't take our chances as well. Big Ben and Fordyce look as solid as you could ask for at centre-half, Paton was looking good in his link-up play with Williamson. Great win overall, and a good start to the competitive campaign.

Next.

Carling. It's been sitting at the back of the fridge with others for weeks now, doubt I've ever had a colder beer. It's also my first evening off in well over a week. A simple beer and not usually my first choice but it's tasting pretty good right now.

Probably the 19. That bus will get you fucking anywhere. Re Ugwu. Our top scorer last season*, and the c**t left in January. Saying that, he wasn't even very good. *at least he was at one point later in the season, not 100% if it finished that way

Poor email etiquette. Just went through a load of emails at work. Granted, it's only the bookies and so email etiquette isn't going to be the first thing you need on your CV, but fucking hell, it's difficult to read a 300 word email that is completely absent of any form of punctuation or grammar. And it's not just grammar etc, there are so many people who just have no idea how to conduct their tone in an email, I keep reading things like "Do NOT do this" and "you MUST do that." You don't come across as someone trying to be clear and concise, you just seem like a stern c**t.

Heading down to Arbroath on Saturday, what starting XI should we expect?

Thought as much, as we only had one listed trialist. Who is this guy then? ETA: Just been announced on Twitter that Fordyce has been appointed by AJ as captain.

Seeing 'Hooper' and 'JJ' being mentioned, who are they?

Jordan McMillan? We should fucking walk the league if he signs too.

Fallen in love with my avatar again. Welcome home, Joe.

Cardle's old boy has just tweeted "we got there in the end." I'm still not taking anything as confirmation until some sort of official statement is made.

"That arse looks like someone's face, just cannae mind whose"

Where's this source that Cardle has signed for the gypsies?

People's selfishness. I was opening the shop in the first leg of a split shift this morning, other lassie has just decided not to show up. Turns out she's refusing to work because she's tired of being 'fucked about' and the amount of hours she's been given (overtime isn't mandatory). Normally this wouldn't piss me off too much, however I have an exam tomorrow and I was needing the break in between shifts to get a bit of last minute revision in. And on top of this, managers are having to chase up people to come in last minute, just because somebody couldn't be arsed today.

I've managed to convince myself that Joe Cardle is coming back. Fucking moist at that like.

Excellent self-awareness you have there, Gordon.