smpar

I'm exactly the same. I also have a really annoying habit of telling my manager (and others) that I've finished uni for about 6 weeks so I'm quite happy to cover shifts. What a fucking goon.

I agreed to overtime because I've turned it down too often recently.

Team: Celtic.

From the injury he received, that's good progress. Hope to see him back ASAP.

Fantastic news, congratulations and all the best.

Lighten the f**k up, James.

Aye, I had no idea what he was on about until I read the post back. Fair play Gordie.

This may have been covered, but I can't be arsed looking. I stopped going on P&B about a year or so ago and missed a whole host of aliases coming in, so can anyone give a quick list of aliases that have been suspected/established in the last 18 months or so...

I don't hate being a student, I hate a lot of students. Now I see it isn't just romance that is an incredibly difficult concept for you.

Students can hate students, it's quite a simple concept. I hate a lot of people similar to myself, and I'm starting to acknowledge a common denominator.

Video from the squad's Christmas do in Dublin signing the El Bakhtaoui chant, fucking glorious.

I fucking hate students too, being a student myself has only heightened this hatred. I was sitting in a lecture a few weeks ago when I overheard a couple of boys talking about football. One said to the other "what about Liecester eh, and Jamie Vardy eh, chat shit get banged." I fucking hate students, and I fucking hate that 'chat shit get banged' patter, so a student saying that just about tipped me over the fucking edge. Also, the amount of students who have to let you know how much they drink and how hungover they are. Because, you know, only students consume alcohol.

I know them. One on the right is trans (female to male.)

I'm trying to find a video of a Derren Brown performance whereby he had an audience of around a thousand people and they had all written down a truth/embarrassing fact about themselves. He, not know who the fact belonged to, chose one of them and managed to identify exactly whose truth/fact it was. I can't think of a way to search for that on YouTube but if anyone has a link to the video or would even know how to find it then that'd be dece.

I find it difficult to trust people who tell stories in the present tense. "So I'm just sitting there.." Nope. Cheerio.

"Where's my tab?" Is also a belter on King Size Homer. Earlier on, I remembered the episode where the school gets snowed in, and Homer and Ned are driving Ned's card to the school. Homer, astonished that Ned's car has such a function, pushed the 'cruise control' button and speaks into it as if it were an intercom "School please." And continues to sit back and relax while the car spins out of control.

It looks like one of those overly-obvious bullying campaigns: two sniggering gimps in the background with a sad looking chunker in the foreground.

We need more like Andy Geggan's post Ayr. He isn't exactly going to rival Frankie Boyle on the comedy side of things but at least he has a bit of fucking charisma.

"When a fire starts to burn, There's a lesson you must learn, Something something then you'll see, You'll avoid catastropheee! D'oh!"

Meditation is fucking great. I get so fucking angry when stupid c***s aren't mindful enough to take 5 minutes out of their lazy c**t lifestyle to fucking meditate now and then.

Shite draw. Hope McIntyre gets a good reception though.

I'm pretty sure the sledge routine was in honour of Britain winning a gold at the Winter Olympics. With Murray winning the Davis Cup, I wonder if Sammy will have another ridiculously dangerous routine planned, firing random baws into the crowd or something.

Fucking hell.

Playing a quiz game; "A triceratops has how many horns? 2, 3, 4 or 5?" Fucking stumped, bottled it and went for 5. Tears and snotters everywhere.