Estragon

Got this today - complete with picture. Sooo, pumping the cleaner then aye?

I can't see him moving abroad. He just seems too "Mr English Football" to me.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22073741 Confirmed that Phil Neville is leaving at the end of the season. Great servant to the club over the course of the last 10 years.

There's a status-happy girl on my facebook who would appear to be pregnant - and every time I look at my newsfeed, I am treated to a whistlestop tour of every nuance of her uterus. She's saying the child's arrival is imminent - and it's just struck me that I must have been reading this shit since last summer! I hardly even know the bloody girl!! The best of it is, if I was to meet here somewhere I'd politely enquire how things were going; and she'd politely reply "fine". Civil niceties in order, we'd both go our separate ways - but on facebook it's completely different. I genuinely can't believe how public people are with their most intimate private lives on fucking facebook. Worst of all is that her profile picture is still the almost pre-requisite mirror set, 45 degree, duck-faced, pouty, parody of sexuality favoured by an unlikely proportion of people. It sits awkwardly with the mental image of a woman lying in a bath of warm water to alleviate the pain of braxton hicks (whatever the f**k they are - my newly-gained knowledge of their existence is another thing that I resent).

Obvious post is obvious.

This is a must-win tonight for Everton. After Tottenham and Arsenal dropping points, and especially after all the Southampton fallout on Friday - it's a huge game tonight for both clubs. Hopefully the departure of Adkins has knocked the stuffing out of them, and we won't be coming up against the kind of resilience Saints have shown in their last few games.

What exactly is a "touch and go" woman? Someone who might be a woman, but might be something else entirely?

Above guy has deactivated his account ahead of schedule - hope he doesn't go the whole hog and kill himself tbf.

A guy I know on my facebook posted (18 hours ago) that he's "95% certain he's deleting his facebook account this weekend".... ...0 likes...0 comments...

Taylor Kitsch's movie CV to date runs something like this.... John Tucker Must Die; Snakes on a Plane; Wolverine; John Carter; and Battleship. With this in mind, I can't really explain why I went to see his latest offering on Saturday night - but I did. Savages (2012) Two best-friend dope farmers in a mutually accepted love triangle with the same girl, incur the wrath of a Mexican drug cartel. Oh, and she gets kidnapped. Oh, and one of the main characters is really tough, and the other is really sensitive. And there's a corrupt DEA official, and a heartless Mexican hitman, and the gang-leader of the baddies is a woman! And let me underline this, if the above hasn't yet convinced you - this has to be avoided at all costs. Blake Lively is the female lead, and is chosen to narrate the film - and this, from minute one, kills it stone dead. Aside from the fact that the nearest the other two main protagonists get to character development is the stomach churning line "...Chon fucks, Ben makes love. Chon is cold metal, Ben is warm wood - together they are one perfect man..." - the film relies on the viewer sympathising with our female lead, and for me it never happened. Experienced heads in Benicio Del Toro, Salma Hayek and John Travolta do their best to rescue this abortion with three very good performances - but it's not enough to have you overlook an atrocious script. Soundtrack is excellent - for those of you into that kind of thing. The most frustrating thing about this movie, is that there is a great film waiting to be made about 21st century Mexican drug cartels. This definitely wasn't it - and I'm not sure I would trust modern Hollywood to make it. Vapid, vacuous, very annoying - 4/10

Matthew Kennedy has joined for an undisclosed fee. Bit surprised to be honest, obviously there were rumours of their interest - but ultimately I didn't think someone would stump up the kind of money we were obviously looking for, given how raw he is... 250k rejected in the week. I would certainly hope there's some sort of sell-on clause for us.

I recently bought this at Waterstones (f**k knows why, I don't think I've ever actually been completely satisfied at the end of a Stephen King book) - anyway I haven't started it yet. IMO his novels, particularly the longer ones, are all the same inasmuch as there is a great amount of time taken in layering plot and character (which I enjoy) - but then the endings are abrupt set pieces, always seeming a bit too 'easy' to resolve the issues and obstacles created in the novel; a la The Stand, It, Under the Dome and I'm sure many others. I always come away feeling that the author simply ran out of ideas, and brought everything together as quickly as he could. I don't want to get into this book to find out that it's another one to add to the above list - without spoilers, your advice would be appreciated.

Read this pearl this morning. On dogs; Aye that's right hen - only recently has selected breeding taken its effect on our canine pals. West Highland Terriers were scampering around the glens, desperately trying to avoid becoming the dinner of a sabre-toothed tiger.

Wonder how many of those he thinks are languages.

What an incredible first result to go with a genuinely exciting transfer window. I don't want to say too much too soon - but fucking hell...

^^^^^^ Absent Father.

The only thing i've learned through facebook is that women are magically transformed into pious morons at the point of insemination.

If I had known about Gaelic football when I was growing up, I reckon I'd still be playing it now. I only became (slightly) aware of it about 2 years ago when I started making work trips to Northern Ireland, and it looks like an incredible game.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/snooker/17879565 Never wear football strips in public, unless you're playing football or at the gym.

There's someone I vaguely know on mine who has just split up from their partner - cue google-sourced profundity on the subjects of hope and loss and whatever the f**k else might keep the old sympathy train steadfastly on the tracks. There's an exponential decrease on the number of likes/comments that follow each one of these as well - making the whole charade all the more cringeable. They have 1000+ "friends", and the earlier ones were attracting up to 70 likes..........a couple of days later and we're down to 9...

Interestingly enough that couple split up last year sometime. There was an article about them in the Sunday Times Magazine.

When you guys go down to Goodison, do you book tickets or do you just buy them on the day?

Read the first page, now trying to work out how much of this thread is fiction. I'm going to stab at 55%. Any guesses?

Dood dat so awsum!!!!