well fan for life

If there’s one thing I like more than us being good at football it’s us throwing great big hammers around.

Mental how we're never going to lose another game of football, eh.

The first 25 minutes of this game was just Devante Cole absolutely taking bodies.

The 3-5-2 was great when it worked and atrocious when it didn't. Watching us absolutely demolish Aberdeen & Rangers in the semi finals of both cups was absolutely great fun it has to be said.

There was a small section of the fans ready to bin him but, for the most part, everyone was happy for him to stay on. We radically changed how we wanted to play football going from the 3-5-2 hammer throwers to getting a couple of wingers in and realising the best midfielder in the country was chilling in our under 20s team until about November.

Not sure if it’s because I binned twitter but this photo of James Scott on a horse is all new to me and, quite honestly, I could not be happier about finding it.

Came for the pie & beans, stayed for Bevis Mugabi being class. For about 20 minutes it looked like it was going to be a nothing game. Once we went 1-0 up it was an absolute canter from then on in.

I'm only going for the pie & beans.

He said something similar before announcing the, in absolutely no way patronising, Queen Tuts stage.

He's got his captive audience of 16-20 year olds who will buy tickets for this regardless of line ups. Like you say it's just a tombola of the same bands in a different order for the most part.

That’s right. There are no female acts that could possibly play. Or that no major festival will have a 50/50 split for many years. Apart from Primavera who already have. What a dick.

As a collective unit I would put the defensive unit of Samson, McMillan, Heneghan, Jules and Chalmers as the worst defensive display I have ever witnessed. The Dundee players were pishing themselves laughing when they were walking off at half time 5-1 and who could blame them.

If I had named a 23 man squad he'd be in it. Samson & Neilsen were worse IMO. Hollis also gets a bye for keeping a clean sheet again Aberdeen when we switch to playing Hammell & Hutchinson at the back and everyone else up front at Pittodrie.

Would I have preferred an away tie to someone lower leagues that I'd never been to before? Absolutely. Am I gutted we've drawn Dundee? Nope.

Stuart McCall fucking LOVED chucking him on with 88 minutes gone when we needed a goal.

It finished the night before the Scottish Cup final so before the play offs had concluded.

I reckon I can get a full squad out of this. Goalkeeper: Craig Samson: Utterly inept. Basically given the starting spot because he'd hung about on the bench for a couple of seasons so it saved us the bother of having to sign a keeper. Managed to allow shots to go directly through him or, on the off chance he got a touch, would roll it perfectly out to an onrushing striker to tap into an empty net. Defence: Josh Law: Started as an attacking midfielder, ended up as a right back. Scored a couple on his debut against the Icelandic mob that bodied us all over the shop and went downhill sharply after that. He was a trier. He just wasn't good at football. Zak Jules: I would honestly put him forward for the worst player to ever play in Scotland. Signed because we needed a left sided defender and clearly he was never actually scouted. Could conjure a goal for the opposition out of absolutely nothing. His highlights reel in a Motherwell shirt is quite something. Mark O'Brien: I'd call him a cart horse but that's offensive to cart horses. An atrocious defender. Tony Straker (c): An iconic player of the Baraclough regime. Looked like he'd never played football in his life, inexplicably skinned a couple of players on his debut then got subbed on at Ibrox when we were ragdolling Rangers round the playoffs. A worthy club captain. Midfield: Morgaro Gomis: I seemed to remember him being quite good against us. Then he signed for us and I could physically feel the passage of time going over me while he picked out a pass. Absolutely woeful. Jake Taylor: Another Baraclough special. A completely anonymous midfield. Done his absolute best to avoid ever touching a ball. The biggest cheer of the Morton debacle came when we subbed him off and he was never seen again. Fraser Kerr: A big, strong centre back...deployed at right midfield repeatedly. He probably isn't the worst player, and he absolutely tried his heart out but was absolutely hopeless on the right. Deimantas Petravičius: The competition winner. Signed because we were obviously hoping to bring in a pacey wide man, but clearly forgot about them being a footballer too. King of the foul shy, couldn't trap a bag of sand, couldn't beat a man and couldn't cross a ball. I'm all for assuming he won his contract in a raffle. Forwards: Theo Robinson: I honestly don't know where to begin. I've seen dogs chasing a crisp packet in the wind that had more idea of what they were doing than big Theo galloping round Fir Park. Jacob Blyth: Missed out on Geordie Shore so he wound up at Fir Park instead. Funeral picture aside he was absolutely honking at fitba and was quickly emptied after being pictured doing illicit substances in Marbella while he was out injured. Subs: Michael Fraser: Signed on a pre contract, was absolutely hopeless and quickly binned. Louis Laing: Built like the side of a block of flats. Would have been class as an NFL player but could not play fitba for toffee. Aaron Taylor-Sinclair: Permacrocked, hopelessly unfit, couldn't defend and couldn't go forward. Zaine Francis-Angol: Supposedly got a trial at Hamburg when he left us. Calling it now. Didn't happen. Woeful. Craig Clay: Filed under the category of "utterly pointless midfielders". Nathan Thomas: Signed because we'd missed out on Marvin Johnson...only we didn't miss out on Marvin Johnson and signed him anyway. Absolutely mince. Wes Fletcher: Shite haircut, shite trainers, shite at football and looked miserable at all times. Manager: Mark McGhee (second time around), assisted by James McFadden.

Omar gets a pass for patter IMO. If you're going to be shite at least be funny. If we're charting this I want it trademarked as the Tony Straker Index.

Similar to Bowman I could never fault Heneghan's effort. He was just absolutely pish at football.

Still cannot believe someone paid us actual cash money for Heneghan. Or that Zak Jules is paid to play football. Zak Jules might have the wildest 'highlights' reel on YouTube.

Absolutely creasing myself at the other nominees for the Broadcast Awards.

Very much enjoying this. The combat has taken a wee while to get used to but I’m into it.

Jesus wept. I'd forgotten Saunders got called up.

Think this is fair enough. Corrigan was outstanding for us for years at a time when everyone and their granny got a cap. As much as I love Richard Tait, even I thought the calls for him to be picked for Scotland last year were...a bit much.