Tapiola

Need an umpire’s call on whether this counts given those lovable scousers will still be claiming her pension for a few years yet.

I imagine with Leicester going full Captain Tom, that City just shrugged and stuck a badge on the shirt rather than getting the full Daily Express hysteria about sheiks disrespecting our brave boys Do you really think they’d have refused? It just isn’t worth it.

Wish he’d come back with a clarification that he meant Heysel

Yeah don’t research his background, you’ll never watch him again, a really nasty piece of work

I’ve stuck with Gaggia machines for years, they last a decade at least - although weigh the same as a small family car. Got a bean to cup for everyday use and an ancient brass espresso machine for when I want to make an effort. Occasionally get them serviced despite the Gaggia man coming round disappointingly not being the excuse for some very middle class porn. Unless I’m not asking the right questions.

Capricorn Iron Fist Overkill Metropolis Bomber

Any car with a broken “tail” light will have a body in the boot upon being stopped.

Driving home yesterday the phone rings “I’m lighting the barbecue but I spilt something on the fire lighters in the shed. Will they still work?” ”What did you spill on them?” “Paint thinner” ”yeah they’ll work even better than before, if you wanted to burn your face off” 90 seconds later with a sense of unease I call back “you’re not using them are you?” ”yeah why not?”

Green Bay Packers have a player called Equanimeous Imhotep J St. Brown. Further research shows he has brothers called Osiris and Amon-Ra. Their dad is a former Mr Universe so guess they weren’t bullied at school either.

I lived in Finland 2010-2015. Or thought I did. Maybe I was drugged and interfered with by Japanese fisherman the whole time and the repressed memory will surface next time I watch The Moomins.

I would humbly submit Elize Ryd from Amaranthe

Baked beans, manky as.

Can I go for an Evans Halshaw one? Wife made an appointment for a test drive, 1pm Friday. They phoned twice pushing that back an hour each time to “accommodate other customers” then again after she’d left the house to push it back another half hour. Sat about in the waiting area for half an hour after the new time, until some guy then spends ages asking for the information she’s already given them once. Eventually gets to the car 2019 plate, visible mould on the back seats, stank of wet dog. She starts to adjust the seats, press a few buttons, given she’s considering handing over £17k for it and never driven the brand before. “Need help starting a car love? Your hubby do it for you?” Gets quarter of a mile down the road, low fuel alerts buzzing, car stalls at a junction. Pushes it into a bus stop. Phones dealer, having to go through the options on the phone system. “Nah hen, it’s not run out of fuel, you’ve got that wrong” Waits another half an hour for dealer to appear. Announces she’s probably flooded the engine by stalling it. No way it’s run out of fuel. Has a look. It’s run out of fuel “dials are confusing, you should have checked before you left hen”. waits another half an hour for dealer to return with a fuel can. Decides to abandon test drive and just goes back to forecourt. Asks for trade in offer as they were going to assess her car whilst she was out. Finds they hadn’t done it, they couldn’t move the car, must have mechanical issues. Wife deftly shows dealer he needs to fasten seatbelt before it moves. waits in rain whilst dealer has a look. Announces it’ll be a while, wife says email it “we don’t do that hen” they’ll call tomorrow. No call obviously. I’ve written shorter CVs

Now, more than ever...

Always wondered where Coolio ended up, turns out the West of Scotland