oneteaminglasgow

San Marino’s is fairly straightforward with European Cup and 3 time Serie A winner Massimo Bonini being, by an absolutely fucking mile, their greatest ever footballer. Their only other really notable sportsman is (according to google) Manuel Poggiali, who won a motorcycle Grand Prix world championship in 2001. I don’t watch motorbike racing, but I assume this is quite a big deal. Again, there’s the problem of you determine greatest between two very different sports.

Well, F1 is shite so obviously the footballers come out on top there.

March 2060 You absolute fucking beauty. We were lucky against Kukesi, they had far more chances than we did and just weren't clinical at all while we were able to take the only chances we had. Skenderbeu likely handed us the win by giving away 3 penalties for utterly pointless fouls. We missed one and still had enough. Korabi was the only game we really deserved to win, and we deserved to win by more but nine points from nine is excellent so I won't complain too much about the scoreline. We also kept ourselves in with a chance of getting to the cup final with a draw in the first leg, so aye, a great month. We still have eight games left to play, including one against Bylis. If we win that game, I think I'll be comfortable in saying that we're guaranteed to stay up. We're in a very strong position now regardless. If we continue our frankly miraculous run (we won't) then we could have a late run into Europe...

February 2060 Only four points picked up this month, but that's probably one more point than I expected to get. We probably should have grabbed a point late on against Partizani as well, but these things happen. We're into the cup semi final as well, where we'll be facing Partizani. Shame that we can't face shite lower league teams all the way through, but oh well. Still just a point ahead. I'm pretty confident in saying that we'll finish either 7th or 8th, but no idea which.

January 2060 Transfer window opened again this month, so I had a load of players heading out - mainly on loan, with Gega the exception. Jusuf and Tsonis were both on the fringes of my team, but both are young so I thought it was better for them to play every week. Strobel and Berisha are shite and will not be missed. I also brought in a couple of player, with Goga Khingava first up. He was a squad player for me at Merani, and was in my title winning side there, but joins us having failed to really make an impact there. An attacking midfielder, he's a very technically gifted player and will almost certainly be one of my best players for the next few seasons at least. My other signing is Bledar Bytyci, a guy who can play a number of positions but I've signed him entirely because he provides some depth at left wing. He's not great, and I overspent to get him, but I desperately needed someone. I will definitely take that. Won the two games I really wanted to win against sides around me, and we weren't too bad in the other games either. Khingava's goal against Bylis was a screamer as well, direct free kick from 30 odd yards out. Our cup run is also still going strong, although we've had a proper England style draw so far playing exclusively lower league sides. I'll take it though as it may well see us into the semi final without having to play anyone verging on decent. Those two wins have us now outside any relegation place for the first time this season! Just a point in it, and our game in hand is at Tirana so unlikely to take anything, but it's a good development.

December 2059 Probably the first month of my managerial reign here that I can be genuinely pleased with. Easy stuff against a third division side in the cup, a good point against Partizani and two whole league wins in a row after waiting almost 3 months for one. Lovely. If we can maintain this form, we'll be nowhere near bottom. We won't maintain it though. Aye, we've pulled away from the automatic spots a bit, which is lovely, and still sit just a point away from staying up without a playoff.

November 2059 Well, that was a masterclass in fucking things right up. Teuta were just much better than us, never got into that game but Korabi was a bad one. 2-1 up and cruising through the game, we then got 2 red cards and conceded a 94th minute equaliser by not bothering to mark their striker in the 6 yard box. Sickening. But Bylis was even worse. 3-0 up within 26 minutes, and 3-1 at half time, we completely fucked it second half, and deserved to lose to be honest. Shameful stuff. We were also leading against KF Tirana, but again got a red card and conceded a 86th minute winner, to round the month out. A total shitefest. Still just one league win, but remarkably we're hanging on to 8th place, where we'd avoid automatic relegation, and are well in touch with 7th to avoid the playoff as well. The bottom half of this division are all utter pish.

His mum’s still an arsonist though

I went to school with her son, he’s alright.

He used to own Crystal Palace, took them into administration and now hangs around desperate for attention. His partner works on that GB news, so aye, he’ll be incredibly gammon

So, in the last 24 hours we’ve learned that blackface isn’t racist (provided you remember to do it in 1996) but ‘gammon’ is. What a thread.

Some hit from Lyon last night

Do Stenhousemuir put out highlights for free anywhere? I’d be quite interested in seeing how he’s getting on.

Why did he need blackface to laugh at Jason Lee’s hairstyle?

I don’t know seeing as I was 2 when it happened, but what was the intention behind the joke of ‘blacking up and sticking a pineapple on his head’?

Yes, North Macedonia and Turkey did. We were also level on points with Poland.

Aye, I’m pretty certain his original meltdown was triggered by Dara O’Briain (or similarly inoffensive comedian) doing a joke about UKIP and he went off on a ‘well I notice you do jokes about UKIP but you don’t ridicule Islam for hours on end how curious’ style rant. Basically, he’s been a p***k for years and calling himself a comedian is almost certainly in breach of the trade descriptions act.

I’ve heard of Andrew Lawrence before, I’m pretty sure he got on a few tv shows about 5 or 6 years ago, wasn’t very good and then had a meltdown about there being too many “ethnics and women comedians” and that’s why he wasn’t funny or some utter shite like that.

It’s fucking unacceptable for Mings to point out the stuff that Patel obviously does, IMO.

I didn’t realise that the Italian celebrations were right in front of Pickford. Glorious.

Is this meant to make him look good? He volunteered for one, and the manager still trusted a centre half and some actual children before him. Nice one, Jack.

Mental how Harry Kane’s list of major honours still reads as follows:

At least you’re taking it well, that’s the main thing.

Spinazzola is some boi