Carl Cort's Hamstring

Pietersen has the most ability of any of the England batsmen, but I think everyone is getting sick of him giving his wicket away because he plays for himself and not the team. If we actually had someone decent to come in, I'd happily tell him to get tae f*ck. He's like Theo Walcott. Burst onto the scene and you looked at him and thought "wow, this guy's going to be amazing!" It's now the best part of a decade later, and he's exactly the same player, still making the same mind-boggingly stupid decisions.

You don't see anything technical about the way Morrison plays?

I think, to be fair to Morrison, the hype hasn't come from nowhere. I remember an article a while ago when he was still at Man Utd, and one of the coaching staff there said he was one of the most naturally gifted players he'd ever seen at the club. IIRC, they were talking about him as the heir to Scholes. He could well still go down the Michael Johnson/Gary O'Connor/Derek Rioran route, as he seems like a troublemaker, but he's definitely got ability. ETA: I like Townsend as well, not so much based on this season, but on his performances for QPR last season. There's definitely more to him than being able to run really fast. Kyle Walker on the other hand is a terrible footballer. He makes Glen Johnson look like Carlos Alberto.

Ah it's not that bad really. Palace will probably be better for atmosphere and prices, but the football might well be appalling, and I have a feeling they have a members only scheme for this season. Might be easier to get a ticket for West Ham, although they're bloody expensive for what are supposed to be the traditional working class east end club. I remember considering going to see them play Barnsley in the Championship, and the cheapest seats were about £40.

More recently, we had a local councillor making these comments about a proposed merger of administrative staff between Havering Council and Newham Council: He then had a week to think of an explanation, and decided that this letter to the local paper would be the best way to clear it all up: Glorious.

I couldn't find the original article, so I've had to dig up this Daily Mail quote on something that happened round here a few years ago: "Council bosses have spent £10,000 in a bid to establish who baaed like a sheep during a planning meeting. Havering council, based at Romford, Essex, has forked out the sum over the last 12 months on a 300-page report into the bizarre incident. But the chief suspect is no longer a councillor and therefore cannot be punished."

Ex Rangers and Killie star Ian Durrant: Preston the dog from Wallace and Gromit:

I would absolutely like to see cyclists who go through red lights, or ride in the road with headphones in be stopped by the police (my personal pet hate). It's dangerous and it makes motorists less sympathetic towards cyclists in general. But a lot of drivers seem completely oblivious to just how dangerous some of the stuff they do around cyclists is. People overtake bikes in ridiculous places, or flash past leaving cyclists about 6 inches of room, and all it takes is a little wobble or a pothole in the wrong place for someone to be killed. I think of myself as pretty decent and law-abiding as cyclists go, but I've been hit by a car once, and very nearly run over 3 more times through no fault of my own.

There are cyclists who act the c**t and ignore the rules of course, but there are also a lot of drivers who assume that the rules don't apply when you encounter a cyclist. I've lost count of the number of times that people have pulled out of a side road right in front me, or pulled out in front of me when I'm going round a roundabout (one time actually smashing into me) in a way that they'd never have done had I been in a car.

Cyclocross bikes are fantastic if you've got the money. I've got a Cannondale, and it allows me to do everything I want to do, while still being quick on the roads. I just love not having to worry about weather or bumps/potholes/off-roady bits, especially as I'm a bit heavier than your average cyclist

It struck me recently the difference in public reaction to when we get a dozen or so Muslims peacefully (if distastefully) protesting at British Army parades, compared to last week when hundreds of white Christians injured over 50 police officers.

I always love the 'sharia law is taking over' mentalists. Mark Steel: "On the whole, it's probably unlikely that anyone will ever walk into a Dorset tearoom only to be told, "Sorry love, no scones today as it's Ramadan."" About sums it up for me.

Hullo there.