Priti priti priti Patel

It literally says Aspartame in the ingredients my boy.

That's a cracker. Would read again.

Could be a joint trying to save the weed. Och aye the noo quite obviously means "Oh, yes, right now". As to how that became a cliched Scottish phrase I don't know.

Is it not so the person being interviewed can pick their nose/wipe away a bogey/fix their mic/etc, or so the producer can snip together two separate pieces of the interview.

An enjoyable 0-0 which Colchester deservedly won on pens. Benteke was just awful. No movement or anticipation and his confidence looks shot, but he always looked like he was trying so I hope that shoot-out pen in front of the away fans restores his confidence a little bit. Ayew looked brilliant - get him in your fantasy teams, he'll be starting at the weekend. I promised highlights of the inane tripe the guy behind me was spouting. I've ended up forgetting most of them but here's a couple I wrote down at half time: 1) "I can't stand McCarthy", to which his mate said he didn't know a lot about him. "All I know is he won't wear a poppy cos he's IRA. And apparently that's all starting again now now. So I can't be having it" 2) His mate, "I'm trying to work out how many internationals we've got" Bloke, "Two" Mate, "Nah it's way more than that" Bloke, "Oh what tonight?! Three" His mate, "Nah... Meyer, Townsend, Benteke, Ayew, Zaha, even Kelly's got one cap" Bloke, "Kelly hasn't". Mate, "He played one game for England" Bloke "No he never" Mate, "I'll bet you a fiver!" Bloke, "What, at right back?"

They deserved that win. A fantastic performance.

Colchester defo having the best of it this half so far (not going to jinx it), even with Zaha on. Ayew just come on now. That's all three subs used for Palace and none for the Us.

That's a fair comment - they showed the highlights in the ground at half time and I may be confusing how shite they've been up front (and everywhere else) and how surprisingly good Colchester have been with the actual stats on chances. It is Benteke though. I did think the one on the line had gone in but the one with the keeper I don't think anyone had confidence (I assume those are the ones). Palace have brought on Cahill. We'll see if that helps.

Halfway through Crystal Palace v Colchester now. Palace have been poor... and confusing. They line up in a 4-4-2 for restarts of play then immediately the two full backs push up and one of the CMs drops back, to create a 2-3-3-2 which promptly falls put of shape as soon as they get the ball. Colchester meanwhile in an eye-pleasing 4-1-3-2 which is marshalling the game excellently. Great atmosphere despite the half full stadium with the U's fans outsinging and outnumbering the Palace "singing section".Struggling to focus on any of this, mind, because of the absolute inane drivel emanating from the bloke behind me. I'll post some of his highlights at full time.

I'm at Crystal Palace v Colchester right now. Colchester have been dominant. If you like a bet then I'd suggest waiting to see if Palace make any subs at HT, if not put your money on the U's. More energy, creativity, the only team with shape, far more and better chances.

Lolol not really. Most threads start off with good discussion and then degenerate into arguing about inane points. And if you don't agree I'll see you outside the Arena next game and we can "discuss" it.

You literally have nothing positive to say, so no-one listens to anything you say. Try to be more balanced, no? Maybe get counselling.

Does it matter that some of you think one way and others think the other? You can all do a post and those of us who weren't there will aggregate the lot. Arguing with someone because they saw it differently just makes the thread shit. K, thx.

Stupid people being sensitive. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-49300025?__twitter_impression=true Fucking "apocalyptic"... but would be fine on a Tuesday morning.

The offside

https://youtu.be/42q_ABTUN8U

A university named after a dog. Hardly reliable.

Single dad gets "backdoored" by four people at once.

He may have plenty of money but is there someone willing to put in more money who he is keeping out? If not then we're in no position to complain about how much of his fortune he chooses to pour away into what is a loss making enterprise.

There are plenty of reasons to think we will get better at defending crosses and set pieces: it is clearly going to be an objective to improve defending since clean sheets win points; the coaching staff and half of the back six have changed from last season; and, this particular manager did a number on our defending when he was last here. A particular example was the 2-0 League Cup victory against Hibs. I had moved away from Dumfries and was seeing fewer games, so this one perhaps stands out for me for other reasons, but the thing I remember from that game was watching our flawless defensive shape and the fluidity of our defensive players as Hibs tried to find a way through unsuccessfully. For me, how good we became at defending is more of a hallmark of his earlier spell than our attacking play. Naturally, that doesn't mean he will repeat his success, and defensive shape is different in some ways to defending cross balls, but there is no reason to assume that the obvious objective of improving our defending will be unsuccessful.

People stood near this guy must think he's a nutter, but he's got some no bad highlights (errr, actually, he's got none of our goals):

For me the evidence isn't particularly encouraging and isn't particularly worrying. We lost to Motherwell in the first ever competitive game for this squad and inexplicably went to shit against Annan in the second half of the second game. We then walked Dumbarton, which is easily done, and just got a point away from home at Morton who are more-or-less about our level. Worryingly, we still seem to be leaking goals and have a small squad. Encouragingly, we have scored 10 in the last three games, 8 of those were not scored by Dobbie, and we just fought back from 3-1 down away from home. The evidence is so mixed and the sample so small, I genuinely do not see why anyone would feel particularly strongly one way or another. Still just got to wait and see.

I agree that metrics tweet looks tinpot. So does the "our biggest fans" one. You can turn them off, so why would you leave them on? I also think it's odd that the media officer has nothing to do with social media. But How do you know when is the best time to get businesses involved? Hypothetically, the best time would be the off season so you have cash flow while there are no games and money to build a squad. That's a hypothetical. Neither of us really know, do we? But I know another club which is doing really well commercially and know both their commercial manager and chairman have taken holidays during the season. It doesn't have to be a big deal. I mean look at what you are posting. It is just foaming at the eyes stuff. What do you get out of sitting at a computer raging about someone's holidays? Take a deep breath, go for a walk, listen to some soothing music while you have a bubble bath, and after a few months of that you might be in a mindset where you can contribute positively to our club. But yeah, Mr X you have gotta turn off those metric tweets!

^ Big team found.

I run a small business beside my main profession. I found the below lecture very helpful for marketing. I think the Trust, the SLOs, and any other supporters groups might find it beneficial.