Mr Pikey

Oh f**k the tablet Loyal are bringing Armageddon 2 to our door

Lockdown tip ....Forgot I'd left a 2 litre bottle of diet coke in the freezer . Blew the front off the drawer in the freezer. Not recommended.

It's one of your minor failings

Out in the back garden and some tit is shouting on Alexa to play that George Bowie shit See above

Unfortunately the virus hasn't wiped out the fuckwit spelling watchdogs

People who shout on Alexa like it's got industrial deafness

Here we go, Torie's mask slipping . Out clapping NHS staff at night, next day cant wait to blame the lack of PPE on them for using too much or not properly. Absolute c***s

Tried the Sloe gin n lemonade , same with rum n coke but will give the Kraken a go

Having my usual 2 cans / pints of cider followed by copious amounts of vodka n diet coke. Tried nearly every bloody other drink cos I get fed up drinking those two and sadly cant stand any of it . A swig of beer or whiskey make me want to spew. Anyway we all have a cross to bear.

Rustled up a " wee " salad . Thank christ I'm going back to work on Tuesday or I'd be the size of a gable end

Just watched the programme about the 75th anniversary of the liberation of the Bergen-Belsen death camp. The accounts given by survivors and liberators is jaw dropping. Anybody who denies the holocaust ever happened is either a Nazi themselves or a feckin eejit. Sobering stuff but a story that needs to be told.

This tattie thinks it's a wean

Black garlic leg of lamb with roast tatties and carrots.

That is a belter of a dug... as they say

Aye this. In no way do I wish him to die or get seriously ill but that mob would have glady sacrificed thousand of us peasants if it kept stock markets and share prices from crashing. You can bet your boots the herd immunity scenario was full of appeal behind the doors of No10. Johnson even slipped it in at one point as an option on TV.

Spot on with that.Seen U2 live in Glasgow when they had just started out. and Bono talked absolute rambling shite then... nothings changed..

Aye, get it in there. No yer big Steak pie obviously but if you cannae be arsed waiting, fire your scotch pie right in the dinger.

I wouldn't wish anyone to catch the virus but obviously there are always exceptions to every rule

Geez!!

Overton farm shop near Crossford has the best steak pies ever. Add in you can buy wee milk type bottles of gravy to add to the enjoyment and you get pie heaven. Not the cheapest but confirms the fact you only get what you pay for. Tucking into one today

Getting pelters for turning down free pizza at work. It's just not my thing.

Haven't read or heard what he said yet but can still gaurantee you are 100% right on all accounts

aye, in asda last night, all these hoarding twats cannae have any room in their cupboards. Probably filling up the garages of suburbia as we speak..

anybody know when the Banter Years will restart? Missing it dreadfully.

Use the " i'm off to an away game " excuse. Nobody gets turned down for that in my work, now if you say the wife's waters have broke that's a different story. Some things are more important than others.