Tom Rogic

Just looking back for a second. Who actually shot Danny Waldron, did he do it himself? Did I miss that expose?

I know its long since been knocked down but, saw this old image of Pittodrie on the Celtic Wiki and it reminded me of that bizarre tiny wee stand that sat on its own between the main stand and the old beach end, a very odd looking and puzzling structure. What was the story behind that Dons fans?

Seems to have sorted himself out though, 39 goals for Celtic this season.

One of my cousins punched a drunk uncle for wanting a sing song at the his dads funeral

Racist. You cant call the French that now.

Katy Perry, delight vast numbers of people by giving up singing and embarking on a career starring in pornographic movies

Celebrities and politicians Avoid prosecution for historic sex offences against children by dying or having senile dementia

I was sparing the man. Trust you Bobby

c**t

Not quite. Kind of went like this. A poster on here who I wont name* to spare his blushes followed and friended me and wife on Twitter and Facebook, subsequently through that located my lassie on Facebook, he sent her a friend request which she accepted as most young kids do. He later sent her a message though asking to meet up for a drink or something and, when she asked me about it I informed her about how he knew me through this forum etc and, being a bit creeped out then blocked him. Not before he had lifted a photo of her doing one of those selfies which he posted here with a 'check out his daughter' type posts. I requested the mods to remove it which they did, was about 2 years ago I think. *Despite it being Philpy type behaviour it wasnt Philpy

Convince people you have the brains of a stunned fish by voting NO in an independence referendum then for the SNP at subsequent Westminster and Holyrood elections

Prevent the general public thinking you are a complete fucking toss by not being Marti Pellow

Jeremy Kyle Show guests Retain credibilty and negate results of failed lie detector tests by simply continuing to deny stealing your terminaly ill mothers jewellery and fucking your cousin Also try brushing your teeth before appearing on television

Famous singers who have had a worldwide hit with a song about Marylin Monroe, stop wasting so much money on legal fees, everybody fucking knows anyway

Members of The Red Hot Chilli Peppers Make sure people know you are from California by mentioning it in more of your songs. More clarity is required on this matter

Troll thick supporters of a famous but debt ridden football club by pretending you are a multi millionaire but purchasing it instead with a loan based on future season ticket sales then secretly carve up its assets with a shady Yorkshireman

Deep fried fun sized Mars Bars make ideal normal sized Mars Bars for dwarves with cholesterol figures on a par with the population of China

Enhance your chances of becoming president of the USA by glueing two Shredded Wheat on to your head and being a racist imbecile

Ease the pain of a close relative dying by entering TV's X Factor and automaticaly securing a place in the live show part of the competition

Feel like doing yourself in but lack the bottle to go through with it? Move to the leafy South Carbrain area in Cumbernauld and within a day or two you will have no problem with taking a header out of your fourth floor flat window onto the needle strewn concrete path below

Convince people on a football forum you are not a sexual deviant by refraining from starting a thread about having sex with amputees dressed as babies in a pram

Been banned from a football forum? Phone the site helpline number to apologise and reason with the owner that you were drunk when you made a post containing a banned word that rhymes with bun and all will be forgiven

Run out of Muesli ? Simply add a few bits of chopped banana and a splash of milk to a bowlfull of contents from you cat liiter tray and tuck in. Yum yum