Jarballs

30/12/17: "I'm Jane Lewis, he's Chick Young, you're listening to the ODDER couple of Scottish footb- " f**k OFF

Aye, had heard the same. Inverness has always been "it's not what you know but who you know" in many walks of life for as long as I can remember sadly. Sums up our board especially

Agree completely, except for the fact that jokes can be funny. Our Twitter feed is so toe-curlingly bad that you couldn't even put it down to some weird Alan Partridge tribute act

Yeah, that's the one! If he was still on the go Kris Boyd and Barry Ferguson would probably be tipping him for the Rangers' dietician/fitness coach position

Aye, that sounds about right. Credit where it's due, you have to hand it to the guy for being able to make the average Scottish football fan think "Christ, that is not a healthy diet!"

Did Brooks Mileson not have a short-lived (take that however way you wish) column in the Daily Record at one point? I seem to recall it was a "Day in the Life" thing focused primarily on the 80+ cigarettes and numberless bottles of Lucozade he went through on a daily basis. I also remember him being weirdly proud that it was all he ever consumed for sustenance. Someone please tell me that I haven't just imagined this

The absolute state of this thread, fucking hell. I know club forums tend to attract some 'colourful' characters but... Jesus

We're an absolute basket case at board level. Breaks my heart but the way things are going I'd be relieved if we finished 8th. Going to the game tomorrow, Morton are 3/1 on Bet365, as ashamed as I am to put on a traitor's bet I stuck a fiver on. Would be a minter for the Ton if they can't get a win with the state we're in. Anyone going to this meeting on Monday?

Now you mention it, that does sound familiar, I think I do remember that. I can vaguely recollect Tam saying "Ah've heard sand-dancer used in a different context..." before Cosgrove cuts him off with his usual faux outrage. Petty and ill-informed - and pish on a number of levels - I do enjoy Off The Ball

Makes sense! Many thanks, appreciated

Not sure if it's a P&B thing or just a phrase that hasn't made it this far north to the Highlands but what does 'sand-dancer' mean? Have worked out that it's an uncomplimentary term to describe a player, other than that I'm uncertain

Conor Bell signed on one year deal so I'm hearing

Fair point, there were various tales of Hayes' 'exuberance' back in the day, such as chasing people out of house parties with his shirt off and a knife in each hand