Jarballs

It's not all bad for Chelsea, on further inspection I have upgraded my opinion of their strip for this season from 'minging' to 'shite'.

That Chelsea strip is honking up close where you can see the 'design' rather than it being solid blue, based on seeing it on a small TV across the pub, this once.

Matt Ritchie has been murder.

It seems Yogi Hughes is providing broadband here in Zimbabwe. Certainly didn't think that 'communications' were his field of expertise.

Week 1 - Stenhousemuir

I was unaware of this. I'm currently in Zimbabwe, should I be more or less worried about this annual insectoid menace?

Staunch.

This match has been utter vomit

I just randomly caught the last 5-10 minutes of Melbourne Victory vs Wellington (I think), anyone else see it? Decent scenes!

After him saying that, I assume that Bonner would want to capitalise on the SFA's 'mistake' and champion McLeish to get the Republic of Ireland job, or even the Celtic one? Bonner is so thick he actually might, I doubt it though. Bewildering doesn't even cover it.

Yeh, that's the guy. They did some sort of tribute to him, can't remember what exactly but think it was a limerick or Team of the Week.

"Fit like lads?"

Double wid

For some reason I'm picturing them both holding the pizza box with Connor Sammon's face in it instead of the awards. Memeception.

Well, I asked and have not been disappointed P&B faithful, give yourselves a round of applause. Some epic efforts there, some of which I have nicked and used, many thanks. Was there not a GIF of David Murray being chased up a road by Dave King in a car or something? Might be vice-versa, not sure. Might also be someone else involved, I only saw it once but I remember it was widely liked and my sides almost split when I encountered it. Apologies for not giving you all much to go on, I have faith though.

I have Charlie Christie's long-sleeved ICT shirt signed by the whole team back in the day which I wore when we won the Scottish Cup - and was also photographed in on the centre spread of the Inverness Courier that day, buckled and greeting like a wean with sheer joy, but that's another story - with autographs from legends like Mikey Teasdale and Jim Calder on it. I also have the Newcastle goalkeeper top with the multicolours and the silhouette of the bridge in the city, I'm a Toon fan as I was late getting into football - being fat and shit at kicking the ball, hence a goalkeeper - and my best pal at primary school supported them. Recently got a Mainz top on the cheap, my girlfriend at the time studied there and it was a great place, she lived in Grenoble too and although I don't have a shirt of theirs I have a flag she got me. I attended a game with her and her mates who had zero interest in football but humoured me - Sod's Law dictated that it was a dreadful, 0-0 affair in the pissing rain but I was able to decipher with my very limited French the Valenciennes fans singing a song about the familiar Jean-Claude Darcheville having a small cock. Being a 'keeper and loving Football Italia on a Saturday and Sunday when it was on Gianluigi Buffon has always been my favourite player so I have a couple of Parma tops, including this rather sexual piece of kit:

Gutted to be missing the game and the obligatory taking over of the Mallard, I was also expecting a doing the last twice we played each other but was pleasantly surprised by how we acquitted ourselves and how poor County were in comparison for large chunks of both matches. Makes me think we might be in with a shout today, but... This. We didn't win either of the last encounters despite being on top and the fear that we might be on the wrong end of a pumping is very much still there. Would be content to take a draw, as out-of-character as that result would be for us.

That's the one! It goes without saying, but wid. Ties in perfectly with... Disappointing lack of Patrick Stewart in the back seat.

Firstly, a very merry Christmas to everyone. Hope you're all having a great day. Not sure if a thread like this already exists, but bear with me. I'm just home from seeing my recently-discovered family in Zimbabwe - I'm half African, half Invernessian, lived in Scotland my whole life with my grandparents - and brought my old dear back an authentic African necklace which she loved. My old man agreed it looked nice, then dropped "Aye, it looks good, reminds me of Theresa May though." Absolutely no idea where he got that from and it doesn't make any sense that I can see, that's old dears for you. I was explaining this to a pal and thought that one of the standard P&B tropes of Steve McLaren seemingly saying "Ooft" would be appropriate, as I'm sure you'll all agree. Couldn't find it though and also couldn't be arsed trawling the forums for it, perhaps if the great and good of P&B wanted to share the regular memes/GIFs that we all know and love - Gary O'Connor blowing out of his arse et al - here in one thread it would be handy. Many thanks in advance. On an unrelated note, my 9 year old niece who I'd only just met and has never been outside of Zimbabwe saw the P&B app on my phone and asked "What's Pie and Bovril?" Was a tricky one, I went along the lines of "People arguing about Scottish football and having hilarious meltdowns." I don't think she understood, which is probably for the best.

Best school in the Highlands! I was in his brother Alan's year.

All refunds paid in caps.

My first foray into the gaming forum, despite being a long-term gamer. I'm with Dindeleux here, I think it's brilliant. Being lazy, here's what I said on the Unpopular Opinions thread: "It's a good, solid Fallout in terms of gameplay - although it has become a wee bit glitchy of late - but the main thing for me is that the nature of it is how I think the premise of Fallout was always intended, an MMO. If I'm honest, I had no plans to play it at all and only ordered it because I was pished and an acca came in. I tried to cancel it when I sobered up but it was too late, gave it a bash and wandered out into the wasteland with no idea what I was doing and bumped into random strangers who were really sound and helped me out. The experience was what I imagine is as close to actually being in a post-nuclear apocalypse and coming out of a vault as can be for a game. It doesn't punish the player for going solo if that's what you want to do, it's still good fun playing on your own but is also rewarding if you team up, be it with randoms or pals - unlike other MMOs where you're absolutely Friar Tucked alone. A surprisingly good online community and lack of dickheads too, the vast majority would rather help out than be wankers. Was very pleasantly surprised because it certainly didn't look like anything special in the trailers. If you like Fallout you'll like it, seems Bethesda have learned their lessons from Elder Scrolls Online. Would recommend." "If you like Fallout you'll like it" is a bit simplistic but some of the criticism the game has been getting in reviews is way, way over the top. Awful reviews are why most people, even die-hard Fallout fans I speak to have been put off getting the game, it's ultimately down to Bethesda though because no-one had a clue what the game was going to be like and most still don't. Red Dead 2 coming out around the same time and Elder Scrolls Online being a massive failure were two factors which were always going to make things difficult but they haven't helped themselves. It's a shame, because while some people don't like the game, a lot of people who would love it won't pick it up. Short version: I thought it would be shite but love it. Ignore the reviews, it's worth a bash.

P&B Bingo klaxon!