Aim Here

Nah. He'll do just fine at that level...

Folk Singer David Olney rounded off his act with a Tommy Cooper impersonation, by having a fatal heart attack onstage.

I tend to think of him as almost a defensive mid in an advanced position, what with all that tenacious hounding of the other team and getting the damn ball back that he does. Even if we don't get a proper defensive mid in, he'll make life easier for whoever's there.

There is a bit of an issue with oversegregation, but the trouble with your solution is that you run the risk of flooding the forum with every piece of inconsequential team news that isn't related to a current matchday. The threads are a place where folks can gossip about transfer rumours, managerial strops, the quality of the pies, season ticket sales, extra-curricular player/manager activities (like the manager beating up his girlfriend in the middle of Princes Street), business affairs and the shitness of the team badge without spamming the League thread with twenty different threads for each team. Things that might warrant two or three comment posts, but not a full-on thread to themselves. You may have to just train yourself to take a passing interest in the affairs of Ross County and Hamilton Academicals now and then until there's a better solution.

Thing is, EPL teams don't need gate receipts for their income, since they get a ton from TV and other sources. SPFL teams rely on the gate income. It's easier for the EPL to cap the ticket price.

That's the Hibs finally signed someone, sortof, by keeping a hold of Bogdan for six months.

Those loans happen all the time. We ensure that at least one of your players isn't as good as the ones we're putting on the pitch, you can't play him against us, and hopefully he'll come back from the experience a better player - or at least a more saleable one.

Depends whether you actually want the job or just fulfilling this fortnight's job application quota so that the dole gestapo won't cut your giro.

So what is electricity?

Said mug likely waited a couple of years for the chance to get it, too.

Pfft, the fans shouldn't worry. If they're trying to buy Boyle, it's not because they have serious intentions of putting him in the first team squad - he'll be sitting out all the important matches and only getting gametime for the occasional dead rubber group-stage cup game, same as they did to Allan or Mulumbu a while back.

You were the guy demanding urgent team changes after we lost to an English Premier League team in a pre-season friendly, weren't you? The fact is, Rangers are far, far ahead of everyone in the league, barring Celtic. Out of the 19 games they've played so far, 6 of them have involved 4-or-more-goal horsings, and their only loss is against Celtic. The main reason why we can't tell Rangers and Celtic apart right now is because both teams are smashing the rest of the league so hard that they're nearly maxing out the points they can get from playing everyone else. To try to counter the plain, obvious staring-everyone-in-the-face fact, you're asserting that Rangers aren't that good, based on us beating a team in the same league as a team they beat in a mid-season training game where nobody - least of all anyone on or near the pitch - gives a f**k about the result and where the standard modus operandi is eleven substitutions at half time. It's a bit like Dumbarton asserting they could easily beat Aberdeen in the next Cup tie because Arbroath beat us in the pre-season friendly last July. Clue: Non-competitive matches are training exercises. The result is utterly meaningless. What matters to the manager is getting the players fit, getting them game time and using them to evaluate the team. Scoring more goals than the other mob is nice to do, but of no actual significance.

Below the eyes, it's Cyril Smith. It's a celebrity nonce Frankenstein.

You say that like it makes her any worse than the family she married into. The centuries-old pleep about pushy, ambitious, and uncouth nouveau-riche types wangling their way into the aristocrat's neighbourhood is laughable enough coming from actual aristocrats (who are only in that position because THEIR ancestors were the pushy, ambitious nooves themselves). Hearing random plebs moan about how their betters are letting the side down by marrying the wrong sort is pathetic and embarrassing 'Born to reign over us' patter. Personally, I'm hoping you're right and she's a cross between Yoko Ono, Lady Macbeth and Cruella De Ville. One tiny wee plane crash wiping out Wills and Kate and the sprogs could give us a worst-case scenario King Charles -> Queen Meghan succession which would hopefully disgust the country into getting rid of the b*****ds forever.

The most likely option is that Christophe Berra would voluntarily forego the last big paycheque of his working life in order to, uh, oblige the boss who made him 'hurt and angry' by demoting him in a humiliating fashion? Interesting take on human nature.

Not really. The soldiers did that stuff by themselves. The Mirror was taken in by the hoax, but didn't intentionally perpetrate it - and Morgan a) didn't do his due diligence in checking the story and b) is a c**t on general principles, but this was a case where a bunch of British army soldiers smeared the army for some reason.

Always annoys me in that clip that the guy he's shouting at didn't just do the simple maths and ask him if about £0.66 per person was worth it? Closer to 29 pence per person. £20 million / 70 million people....

You left out that they've both been known to be partial to a swastika or two.

The St Mirren Alan Stubbs or the Hibs Alan Stubbs? Hearts might not be too upset with a glorious cup run from the Championship next year...

Not saying he won't be away. But what I am saying is that most likely Hearts will be paying for him to go away somehow. Unless Berra is an idiot, or Berra's new team are idiots, then Hearts will likely be paying some new team to take him on to offset the wage bill. There's no way around that, barring aforementioned idiocy.

Berra has a contract with Hearts right now. By sitting on his arse, he gets those wages, guaranteed. He doesn't have to demand silly money, he's already contracted to get it. Dundee United has to either match Hearts silly money, or Berra has to voluntarily take a pay cut.

One of these three is pretty much inevitable. Which, in your opinion, is going to happen? Some team is willing to pay the hefty going rate for a 33-year old SPFL Premiership captain, for someone who obviously can't cut it anymore Berra is willing to take a pay cut Hearts are going to somehow subsidize Berra's exit, one way or another, either paying him off or paying his new team somehow (loan deal where they pay a portion of his wages, or whatever) The last looks a bit like 'paying him off' to me.

There's 18 months left on his contract. If he's out the door, it's because someone's paying actual money for him. You could tap up your American overlords for him, the way your neighbours did for Shankland, but in the normal scheme of things, it's not likely to be a viable proposition. Maybe we could send you Dabrowski, if you're needing a keeper. I did see him get a clean sheet versus Queen's Park a few weeks back. He only dropped the ball twice and noised up the opposing fans splendidly, and you know you'd be able to afford him.

If we're thinking about taking on another keeper, we must be about to hoof two of the ones we have out the door.