Ebanda's Handyman Services

Where do you work Izreid?

Those 'I Hate Katy' links. There's billions of porn sites on the net yet folk will try to trick you into looking at a site so they can get a SFW picture of some daft bint.

Good on you.

What did you do?

I once told a downstairs neighbour that I'd walk into his house and confiscate his stereo if he didn't play it at a normal level. Done the trick until we moved.

I watched Apocalypto and I liked it. 7/10. Particularly enjoyed the bit with the Jaguar.

There's no good way to put this. My baws are fucking killing me after the snip. I'm getting more pain now than I did shortly after the op on Tuesday. Still going to the Stirling game whether I'm walking like John Wayne or not.

You should have gone to the party with the guy. Young ones nowadays eh! A nice gentleman with no intention of shagging you all over his manky bedsit asks you back to a party and you refuse?! Opportunity missed vT, I bet he had sweeties too!

AndyC2711. Pro Evo and CoD5 are the only games I play online.

Dae ye want one? Sorry.

Sticky as f**k man. Never seen anything as sticky in my life. My Lemonade was wet too.

Me too. Supernoodles are now doing around 20 revolutions per minute in my radiation based heating device.

Why does that bother you pal? Your Mum and Dad doing well for themselves to that extent is a good thing is it not?

Did they offer you internet service providings?

5 more from me too..... 1) I broke my left leg so badly that my toes pointed right and my knee pointed left. 2) I blew 28k I made on a flat on f**k all, promised myself I'd make it back up and succeeded plus a little bit extra somehow. 3) I never feel comfortable with my appearance even though I was quite popular when single. 4) I met Noel Gallagher and Meg Matthews in the Waverley Centre, Edinburgh. 5) Was invited to the backstage party of an Idlewild gig at the Barras and was thoroughly dissapointed to see them drinking tea, eating biscuits (Non disco version) and having civilised chit chat.

I got Peter Shilton's autobiography in secret santa. Pretty good so far but I've not finished it. Naebody let on what happens at the end.

Is that annoyance at the disrespect of Jesus or just the actual word 'Chrimbo'?

1) When I was 5 I jumped off a moving bus and the momentum made me run right into the bus stop, bounce off it and land on my arse. Mum went mental and skelped my arse for me. 2) I scored a hat-trick against my own team after being loaned to a Dunfermline team as I hadn't been going to training. After my 3rd I ran past my own manager and asked, "Can I play centre forward next week?". I was a regular pick at left back. 3) I reached the final of the RRFC half-time penalty competition and in sudden death thought I'd be smart and knock it in the top corner. Missed. Got our photo taken after the comp and it looks like I've got a hard-on. 4) I nearly did an unintentional backflip when running for a bus in Kirkcaldy bus station and slipping on some diesel. Hurt like f**k but folk were pissing themselves laughing so I just got up like it didn't bother me. 5) Me and my pal Spitt once found a Hamster that had been abandoned in it's cage. He took it home and when I went to see him in the morning he told me that the Hamster's guts had fallen out of it's arse. That might be why it was abandoned in the first place.

We love Christmas on Magic.

Cheers!

Spiders and stuff? There was a really fat spider living outside our bedroom window. I had to knock it off though as the size of it's webs would have put Spiderman to shame.

Just an expression! I get wee frogs in my back garden by the way. What do they eat?

Dirty shaggers! Good on them.

I take it you two are 'at it', for want of a better expression?

Off the top of my head I bought The Last House on The Left, Daddy Day Care, What Lies Beneath and Casablanca. Casablanca is probably a good film but I'll watch it when I'm in my 60's. Also bought a Rat Pack triple album that I gave my Dad when I woke up.