Guest Honest Bob Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 1. Running naked up and down a 58 seater bus for the last £20 of kitty money! 2. Dressing as Agnetha as part of an ABBA tribute for old-age pensioners - they were ravenous! 3. Getting Club 18-30 banned from the 'Medieval night' in Benidorm, for bringing the Green Knight's sexuality into question! 4. Stealing the keys from a Meat-Wagon in Newcastle, while the plods were trying to apprehend my mate! 5. Jumping off the third floor balcony into the swimming pool on my holiday to Crete - just 'cos it looked like fun at the time! Actually, you could put these in any order, as they are all of equal stupidness! Ah, the demon Drink! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 I cna only go on what other folk have said so, 1) 'Moshing' to Tatu in the Union 2) Falling asleep in a nieghbours garden after our 6th year Christmas dance 3) Driking wine in the middle of a mini roundabout with my then girlfriend as a police car drove past 4) Being thrown out of Amadeus at 11pm after being suspected of dealing drugsin the toilets 5) Pulling three girls at a house party then having two of them get into a massive catfight while I sneaked off into another room with the third Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Honest Bob Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 5) Pulling three girls at a house party then having two of them get into a massive catfight while I sneaked off into another room with the third Good shout! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimonLichtie Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 5) Pulling three girls at a house party then having two of them get into a massive catfight while I sneaked off into another room with the third Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laid Back Maverick Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 1) Long story but....got invited to a party in Dundee that coincided with my 21st B'day. Arrived at 4pm to be told no-one would arrive until 9pm so we spent 4 hours in a very slow pub crawl along Perth Road. When we reached Drouthy Neebors we realised that we'd still be one of the first to arrive if we arrived at 9, so we went through every shot the bar had. Then we convinced the bar man to fill an empty vodka bottle with water so we could give it as a gift. I don't remember reaching the party. Apparently, me and my mate had a toy fight down the street to the flat causing pandemonium and then I passed out in the kitchen. Woke up at 3am, bright as a button and kept everyone awake. (PS. the gifted vodka bottle was promptly taken away from us and sat in an optic until my mate was trying to get some girls drunk in his flat some months later and realised it was water) 2) Did the Party Boy dance in a crowded caravan site, wearing only an apron, to the tune of "Come with Me". My mate came along with a girl he'd been trying to pull for ages, so I chased him. 3) Pulled 10 girls in one night, including a MILF and her daughter. 4) Blagged our way into Napier Uni's halls (the ones near Fountainbridge) during Fresher's week disrupted a party and after getting nowhere with the girls, we left stealing a 12 pack of beer and setting off the fire extinguisher in the hall. 5) Shagged a girl against a Police Station wall because the coppers had moaned at me for pulling my then-girlfriend in the street at 3am. We got illuminated at one point by the lights of a Meatwagon so I'm sure they knew what we were up to. I'm sure there's more but that's all I can remember the now. Liam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Poker King Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 1. Stealing a yellow fire wardens vest and not only wearing through Birmingham airport but checking people in for the Dusseldorf flight...... beer in hand. 2. Starting a queue for the Laganas bus at Zante airport beside a random bus and then when a few people joined me just walking away. Shortly afterwards I tried to check in for my flight home using a portrait that i'd had done on the street as my ID. 3. Wandering about a hotel in Newcastle in my boxer shorts whilst a wedding was taking place just so that I could go swimming. 4. Stealing a whole gateaux from a French restaurant just because the restaurant manager wouldn't let another team join us. 5. Stripping off to win a dancing competition in order to win three drinks vouchers at a works night out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neilly Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 1. Having a two hour conversation with the computer about what a good night I had before being told to "get to fuckin sleep" by my Dad 2. Was round the back of a church drinking and with a lassie, anyway I was in my boxers and the polis came and chased me, i fell about 10 fet down and hurt my ribs on a barrier thing. Ran across the road and went into the Esso Garage and everyone just stopped and looked as i entered in my boxers, I swiftly ran into a garden and hid while the polis inspected the house, which had soft drugs in it, they got in trouble, I didn't 3. Was at a party in Grangemouth, total out my face and tried to cycle home on an exercise bike. I made it to the hall before I fell over 4. Trying to punch one of my mates after a falling out and giving the worst punch ever before my other pal ploughed me into a shop window 5. Falling head first down the stair. Was at the top of the stair and my pal said " You alright there, watch no fall" "I'm fine" I replied before falling down and hurting my crown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FFCinthearea Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 In no particular order 5/ Pumped a skanky wee minger in a bin shed. 4/ Drank a bottle of after shave (Paco Rabane I think). 3/ Pumped another skanky wee minger (who was wearing a shellsuit) behind Grahamston Glazing, woke up in the morning with cuts all over my legs (from broken glass). Her shellsuit was ripped as well. 2/ Ran through the corridors with only my pants on at the Caledonian Hotel in Edinburgh whilst singing 'Bob The Builder' 1/ Fell asleep on a picnic table in the Arnold area of Nottingham which is notorious for muggings and shootings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Barbour_Bairn Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 On a pub crawl in my native Alloa I thought I 'd try Guiness (my then ususal poison) with a shot of Tia Maria (sp?) in it... not a good idea. Last thing I remember is downing half a pint of it and then spewing it back up directly into my pint glass I've never been allowed to forget it. managing to get on and sleep on a train at a Queen Street platform as I was 3 hours early for the first train home on a Sunday morning!! The fuzz were none too impressed Pulling a bolt from a Benidrom taxi (he was trying to bump me so I gave him a tenner and walked away) only to be attacked by the Manuel b@stard with some sort of bat!! After exchanging blows I spent an hour in a building site hiding from 4 or 5 taxi drivers who were looking for me! Very scary A good old school drinking shenanigan!! You'd have to be a right stupid wee pr1ck to drink behind the school before a disco eh? Whit a silly bunch of wee knobs we were!! We then proceeded to deny having a drink while my mate was spewing in the toilet and another danced while we were interogated Oh the memories! Fat Brazilian Minger... I'll let you do the rest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baggio Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 In no particular order5/ Pumped a skanky wee minger in a bin shed. 4/ Drank a bottle of after shave (Paco Rabane I think). 3/ Pumped another skanky wee minger (who was wearing a shellsuit) behind Grahamston Glazing, woke up in the morning with cuts all over my legs (from broken glass). Her shellsuit was ripped as well. 2/ Ran through the corridors with only my pants on at the Caledonian Hotel in Edinburgh whilst singing 'Bob The Builder' 1/ Fell asleep on a picnic table in the Arnold area of Nottingham which is notorious for muggings and shootings For I minute I was confused and thought this was the 5 things I've done today thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laid Back Maverick Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 It's not a Top 5, but I just remembered this morning the best ever "I'm not drunk, I'm sober" quote. One of our female mates had polished off a half bottle of vodka and she wasn't exactly a regular drinker. So she was dancing about, singing drunkenly and we left her to it, keeping an eye on her in case she spewed. She bumped into a load of squaddies, who instantly identified her as an easy target. We went to grab her to take her away and she argued about how she wanted to stay with the squaddies, promptly fell on her arse and claimed she was "as sober as a frog, sitting on a rock." You probably had to have been there. Liam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mrs stainrod Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 I remember being in Lanzarote about 6 years ago, out on the piss 4 nights in a row. On the 5th morning, I got up bright and breezy, out to the pool, lying on the sunbeds soaking up the sun, as you do. Suddenly I knew I was going to be sick and very quickly(no time to run back to apartment). I ran over to the shower area of the pool, wretched and vomited (green bile stuff) down the shower drain, promptly returned to the sunbed, drink of water and back to sunbathing. Felt brand new. No one seemed to mind or said anything to me!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Sionnach Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 1. Caught taking a leak behind a hedge in Tynemouth Boating Lake Park by the Polis. Verbally warned for 'p*shing in public', no mention of being p*shed under-age! 2. Fell into a hedge (me and hedges - fuxake! ) on the way home from a 6th form disco and only got out when my mates pulled me out by the ankles. Spent another 20 minutes trying to rescue my glasses from said hedge and still convinced my Dad I was sober when I got home. 3. Very drunken Ne'er's Party at a mates house. Slept on the floor in the spare room and, during the night, rolled over and puked into a pal's shoe. Wasn't discovered until he, very hungover, put it on in the morning. The we all went down to the pub again! 4. Stayed with my future in-laws for the first time and had a few shandy's. Wasn't really drunk but woke in the night needing a pee, got dis-orientated as I was still half asleep and fully woke up to the fiance shouting 'Nick, it's a bloody wardrobe, not the toilet! 5. Somehow got back from Berwick, when we'd gained promotion, very drunk. Fell in through the front door and promptly fell asleep. Wife woke me a bit later and dragged me into the sitting room where I fell asleep again. Managed a bit later to drag me upstairs where I collapsed on the landing and passed out. By this time, wife had had enough and went to bed. I woke up at six in the morning, freezing cold and with no idea how I'd got there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tarvie Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 1 - Whilst staying at an ex-girlfriends house (seperate rooms house rules ) I had far too much to drink and the room started to spin rather rapidly. I made my move as quick as possible to go to the toilet only to be confronted by her mother exiting said toilet, who I barged passed and started talking to gon on the porcelin phone. Problem was I sleep in the scud. 2 - In Falaraki about 8 years ago with the same girlfriend (who thought #1 was funny as f**k) we met a group of couples from all over the uk and decided to have a drunken party. Later it was decided that we need more tables so I decided in my drunken wisdom to pass down mine from my balcony......On the 3rd floor. Landed and broke into a million bits and cost me £30 beer money to replace 3 - Went skiing in Aviemore and was staying in a chalet for a few nights with 8 guys. After a hard night of drinking and smoking a few of the guys were pucking their guts out and I was bursting for a shite. My drunken logic said that if Mate 1 was puking in the loo when I was needing a shite, then I should promptly shite in the sink in his room. You can imagine the cries of WTF when he woke in the morining to brush his teeth. 4 - Same morning I woke with a number plate for a new car on my bed?? After asking a few questions I found out that my mate had knicked it off a police car whilst I distracted the ocupants by asking directions to the nearest kebab shop. 5 - Got married, got very drunk, went to the honeymoon suite and sat down with the missus to open some pressents. Next thing I remember was the sun shining in the window and me still sitting in the chair with my kilt on. Missus took great delight telling all my family how I couldnt managed to consumate the marrage that night cause I was too pished Made up for it on the honeymoon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Basher Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 1. went on a nite our with a few mates and one particular mate's ex girlfriend. Pulled her and slept with her back in my flat in halls of residence with my friend banging on the door practically the whole nite trying to get her to leave. 2. after a marathon cocktail session, decided to leave the club we were in (b.lo in glasgow) and head out. i was dying for a sh*t so my flatmate chased me across george square trying to make me sh*t myself. i couldnt contain myself and eventually had to do a croucher just outside queen street station. 3. first nite on holiday in magaluf. plane landed at half 11 at nite. went straight out on the pish. got back to the room and the rest of the night became a haze. later, photos developed showed me streaking on the roof of the hotel leaving absolutlely nothing to the imagination. 4. went out for my mate's 21st. after 11 pints we headed to kfc for a family feast bucket, followed by his flatmate's home made wine and peach schnaps. the kfc was chundered into a gutter on the way into town. 2 pints of fun followed (4 vodkas, a smirnoff ice and 2apple sourz in a pint glass). i actually pulled as well, she must have been loving the kfc/vomit breath! 5. got pished in the summer back in ayr and headed out to the club de mar with a handfull of birthday balloons?!? me and my mate managed to pull a couple of 16 year old. he fell over in the process and i had to run to the toilet to be sick. needless to say they werent best impressed to any youngsters such as clydekid who are reading this, getting drunk is not big and its not clever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scot_17s Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 1) Walking home from town after a heavy night drinking when one of my mates decides to throw a mate over a wall with a 4ft drop at the other side. He didnt manage it but he did get injured in a tender place. Me being the nice bloke that i am leaned over the wall to pick up what i could that had fallen out of his pockets and the the original guy thought it would be funny to throw me over, scrapped my chin right down the wall and still have the scar to prove it and wrecked a fairly new £80 leather jacket. Not chuffed. 2) At a mates party and started drinking shots of very very powerful apple brandy, wasnt feeling too good so decided to sit down. Churned all over his couch, tried to clean it up but was far too pished so i just turned the cushion over. He didnt find it till the next morning. Then got home and threw up all over my bed and had to change the sheets befoe going to sleep . One of my other mates also passed out naked on the bathroom floor at that party which took a wee bit away from me and the couch. 3) Got pished and went to rosies, realising i was w**kered decided to drink plenty of water to sober myself up, drank far too much water and threw up everywhere. 4) Just left school and met a crowd of girls that we had been to school with, decided to pull the ugliest girl out of the lot of them, she was the one who was slagged shitless at school for being so ugly. I of course was just doing my good deed for the week 5) A couple of weeks ago we were at a haloween party and one of my mates was dressed as a policeman. Another mates little brother was having a party and all the folk at the party were under 18 so we sent my mate round to their house and siad that a disturbance had been reported and he wanted all the music turned off and everyone in the household in the livingroom.. He got all 20+ of them in a line in the livingroom so he could ID them, half of the girls were in tears. Was absolutly priceless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biscuits Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 I fell asleep in Greenock Central train station a couple of fridays ago round about 10pm. Woke up about 30 mins later and I HADN'T BEEN MUGGED!!!! Still amazed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raith Against The Machine Posted December 1, 2004 Share Posted December 1, 2004 A guy I know went to Embra to get pished, and ended up spending a night in a bush. I still don't know what he told his mum! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biscuits Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 A guy I know went to Embra to get pished, and ended up spending a night in a bush. I still don't know what he told his mum! I've seen many a fine bush in Edinburgh. HOOTERS!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death warmed up Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 In no particular order5/ Pumped a skanky wee minger in a bin shed. 4/ Drank a bottle of after shave (Paco Rabane I think). 3/ Pumped another skanky wee minger (who was wearing a shellsuit) behind Grahamston Glazing, woke up in the morning with cuts all over my legs (from broken glass). Her shellsuit was ripped as well. 2/ Ran through the corridors with only my pants on at the Caledonian Hotel in Edinburgh whilst singing 'Bob The Builder' 1/ Fell asleep on a picnic table in the Arnold area of Nottingham which is notorious for muggings and shootings You forgot to mention drinking a pint of piss (not your own) on a stag night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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