Jump to content

Things you want to share with P&B


Ad Lib

Recommended Posts

1 hour ago, Mark Connolly said:

Lot of Anti-America stuff on here right now, so I'd just like to say...

 

 

 

 

 

Hiya NSA, hi pals.

I'd just like to say get it up ye, Yank cunts. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

 


Has any would be terrorist ever been foiled by this question?

"No madam my bag was packed for me by a skilled bombmaker/jihadist. Fuck me and my big mouth"

 

These airport security types are notoriously up themselves and lacking in humour. I was in court in Perth (a speeding charge, nothing register-worthy). The Sheriff/judge person read the charge and I accidentally blurted out "not guilty" and she grunted and about fell off her seat. I corrected myself and said "guilty" and she smiled and instantly returned to her near vegetative state. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, The Naitch said:

Loving the hints and tips. I'll be sure to let you what the grub is like inside Guantanamo.

There's a scene in T2 where one of them gets waterboarded with draught Irn Bru. Maybe you could ask for this instead of water? A wee taste of home. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Waiting on a skip getting delivered. Asked them this morning for a time.... 11am. Still not here at 1 so got onto them again, be with you before 3pm.

3pm is now past. Guess what.....


Seething mess

Never mind. You'll enjoy it once you've settled in to it and made it homely with your cardboard boxes etc. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Bairnardo said:

 


Its only a fucking upgrade if it turns up.

Not letting them take the old one away. Fancy seeing how the other half live with a conservatory

 

From what I learned in history many moons ago, we civilised humans had the barter system nailed at about 9000BC. There's not a day goes by on P&B when someone doesn't end in tears due to a transaction gone wrong, a missed parcel or a deviant delivery driver. Darwin maybe didn't quite crack the whole evolution theory stuff after all.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

From what I learned in history many moons ago, we civilised humans had the barter system nailed at about 9000BC. There's not a day goes by on P&B when someone doesn't end in tears due to a transaction gone wrong, a missed parcel or a deviant delivery driver. Darwin maybe didn't quite crack the whole evolution theory stuff after all.  

The BanHammer of Damocles is hovering above your head.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Shandon Par said:

These airport security types are notoriously up themselves and lacking in humour. 

Like Kilt? Who knows the number of atrocities he stopped...or caused, now I come to think of it.

I would still staff all border crossings with wicca qualified druids though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

19 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

Like Kilt? Who knows the number of atrocities he stopped...or caused, now I come to think of it.

I would still staff all border crossings with wicca qualified druids though.

I always get pulled aside by them and it's probably unfair to call them humourless. One at Stanstead last year let me look at my shoes in the xray machine. I seem to get singled out for looking like the sleazy Columbian drug deal baddie from an 80s flick in a sea of golfers, bad suits and holidaymakers.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, Shandon Par said:

I always get pulled aside by them and it's probably unfair to call them humourless. One at Stanstead last year let me look at my shoes in the xray machine. I seem to get singled out for looking like the sleazy Columbian drug deal baddie from an 80s flick in a sea of golfers, bad suits and holidaymakers.  

Kilt would definitely have  pulled you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

Kilt would definitely have  pulled you.

They get a bit over familiar with their hands at times. I think they just want a sneaky tug of the old chap rather than being too concerned about aeronautical safety. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...