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It takes me literally two minutes to drive to the retail park at the top of Kirkcaldy but yesterday two women drivers still managed to cut me up. One on a mini roundabout where she could see me coming for miles and the other who was just sitting in the middle of the road at McD's.

On the plus side, on my way back I saw a mentally handicapped kid on the back of a modified chariot style bike pretending that he was rowing a boat. Wee bugger looked happy as anything.

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Earlier today, I bought a belt with a bottle opener on it.

Always been a bit baffled by these. Seems over the course of a night, unless you intend to whip your belt of every time you get a bottle (fucking strange behaviour, i'm sure you'll agree) then you are guaranteed to, at some point, either dunt yourself in the nuts with the bottle or pour beer doon yer troos resulting in you looking like you've pished yourself. Lose, lose, lose, however you shake it.

you should use your teeth or a strippers tits like a proper man.

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I thought the Old Firm kicked off at 12.30, and that since I'm in work til 3 I'd miss it. Turns out it's a 3pm ko. Unsure as to whether this is a RTBC or not, as yes I can watch it but we'll also likely get pumped.

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I'm a pretty un-aggressive guy, but last night in a moment of madness I kicked the shit right out of my chest of drawers. It's completely done for, nothing left but bits of wood everywhere. I'm 95% ashamed and pissed off with myself, and 5% a wee bit proud that I'm capable of doing such damage so quicky. I reckon in my moment of madness I must've developed super strength.

Edited by Guest
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I'm a pretty un-aggressive guy, but last night in a moment of madness I kicked the shit right out of my chest of drawers. It's completely done for, nothing left but bits of wood everywhere. I'm 95% ashamed and pissed off with myself, and 5% a wee bit proud that I'm capable of doing such damage so quicky. I reckon in my moment of madness I must've developed super strength.

I would suggest using the money you're grabbing from the taxpayer to replace it, but not having a chest of drawers is hardly hardship.

Edited by keithgy
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I would suggest using the money you're grabbing from the taxpayer to replace it, but not having a chest of drawers is hardly hardship.

Ho ho, you're on fire.

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You're a dick. :P I deliberately never posted up this months! :lol:

I was freezing, I was hungover, and I never wanted to do it. My acting career is in tatters. The person getting into the house was hilarious though.

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You're a dick. :P I deliberately never posted up this months! :lol:

I was freezing, I was hungover, and I never wanted to do it. My acting career is in tatters. The person getting into the house was hilarious though.

I didn't even know you were in it when I posted it.

I keep having to pause it as I break into sniggering fits every 30 seconds or so.

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It takes me literally two minutes to drive to the retail park at the top of Kirkcaldy but yesterday two women drivers still managed to cut me up. One on a mini roundabout where she could see me coming for miles and the other who was just sitting in the middle of the road at McD's.

On the plus side, on my way back I saw a mentally handicapped kid on the back of a modified chariot style bike pretending that he was rowing a boat. Wee bugger looked happy as anything.

Roundabout City?

When I'm in there I just point the car towards JJB Sports, close my eyes, and hope for the best.

edit: that video Fudge posted makes me feel so much better about my own life.

Edited by Bibby
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