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1 hour ago, scottsdad said:

His biggest crime, surely, is not having ever watched a single episode of Star Trek. 

He's at it. He'll be claiming not to know what a lightsaber is next.

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7 minutes ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

No need to make things up, David.

Sorry, I had to go nuclear to beat those other calls.

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27 minutes ago, carpetmonster said:

I’m at playgroup with the boy and I’m brutally hungover and farting absolute evil into the surrounds. There’s already been a couple of maws giving their weans a quick sniff. 

My mrs used to work as a nursery nurse and although not hungover, she let one go that resulted in every poor child in the room being lifted and sniffed.

Edited by buchan30
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44 minutes ago, buchan30 said:

......... every poor child in the room being lifted and sniffed.........

If you get a whiff,

You gotta lift & sniff,

'Cos your little boy Jack,

Has got shite right up his back,

And if you want to be happy,

Go and change that filthy nappy.

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