Evil Neighbours Thread

[grumswall]

I was tempted to get on my own bike and just "accidentally" ram him off of his into on coming traffic but I'm not sure of the legalities with it.

I fear your all focusing on the wrong problem here though. I think I could take the boy no problem it's the big sister I'm more worried about. She's 8 ffs.

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

1 minute ago, grumswall said:

I was tempted to get on my own bike and just "accidentally" ram him off of his into on coming traffic but I'm not sure of the legalities with it.

I fear your all focusing on the wrong problem here though. I think I could take the boy no problem it's the big sister I'm more worried about. She's 8 ffs.

It would just be a 50/50, except that cyclists don't have to have insurance so you'd be fine.

[grumswall]

Win win then

[Kejan]

Excellent thread.

There are four flats in our building. Basement is a guy and girlfriend - although very rarely see them but do smell them (grass), come and go at strange hours and seem sound enough and don't even mind the odd party. Top floor is a group of chefs who are pretty sound too - the odd party, and one plays the piano ; but sound and been to a couple of their parties as well.

The problem is the couple next door/through the wall. They work very early (one leaves about 3.30am and the other 4 ish for work - first one is home about 11, and the other an hour later) and this will be them! Stuck inside for the whole day pretty much most of the time.

I'd say 85% of the time you hear nothing from them and they must go to bed about 8 or 9 - so the evenings if they are working the next day are great. Yet out of almost nowhere when you start to think living here isn't too bad, the woman will scream like a banshee and then you'll hear what sounds like her battering him, slamming of doors, the wall being paper-thin you hear the thuds of throwing stuff on the ground. Then often it'll stop after 20 minutes and then back to relative peace for a few weeks/occasionally if we're lucky months. This tends to happen in the day/morning and not night. The Polis have been round probably 5-6 times yet nothing has happened. ]

I have not told the landlord and I really should. Just today for 20 minutes there was a loud screaming argument ''Where is my backpack? You've stole it!" I think the woman is ill, she has to be. She does not seem to go outside at all either, they are constantly home and seeing her smoking on the balcony just depresses the shit out of me. Also, not knowing when the f**k she's going to kick off or if it's going to be a 2min rant or an hour etc. I think she's probably an alcoholic too, or one of those dicks who can't handle their drink. She's a bit odd and I go from feeling sorry for her - probably mentally ill, and she doesn't seem to go out much, or have any friends/family around - to mope around and pissed off.  I work irregular hours and have yet to see them have a guest, not that I have people round all the time. I'm guessing a horrible co-dependency plus mental illness. The next time you see her after a fight, she's so placid and quiet ; and one time when the Police did come around after I think upstairs called them, she was so sheepish and innocent whilst talking to them in the hallway.

They went away for 3 weeks in February, and I was over the moon and made me realise how I probably should have done something/or just be a pussy and move out. And if one is off, they'll still get up early and rattle about taking out the bins at 7am etc. I go from feeling sorry for them to wanting them away in hours.

We've got a year left on our lease and the flat is cheap ; but honestly feel like we would be better moving. Sounds terrible, but I believe their two year lease is up in September for renewal  so I'm tempted to e-mail the landlord soon to let him know about it, as I don't think the stoners or chefs' upstairs have. To think that a stoner/possible drunk dealing couple, four drunken chefs, and a couple in their late 30s all live in the building, and the problem is the couple.

 

Edited June 17, 2017 by Kejan

[SlipperyP]

[Panda Pies]

Excellent thread.
There are four flats in our building. Basement is a guy and girlfriend - although very rarely see them but do smell them (grass), come and go at strange hours and seem sound enough and don't even mind the odd party. Top floor is a group of chefs who are pretty sound too - the odd party, and one plays the piano ; but sound and been to a couple of their parties as well.
The problem is the couple next door/through the wall. They work very early (one leaves about 3.30am and the other 4 ish for work - first one is home about 11, and the other an hour later) and this will be them! Stuck inside for the whole day pretty much most of the time.
I'd say 85% of the time you hear nothing from them and they must go to bed about 8 or 9 - so the evenings if they are working the next day are great. Yet out of almost nowhere when you start to think living here isn't too bad, the woman will scream like a banshee and then you'll hear what sounds like her battering him, slamming of doors, the wall being paper-thin you hear the thuds of throwing stuff on the ground. Then often it'll stop after 20 minutes and then back to relative peace for a few weeks/occasionally if we're lucky months. This tends to happen in the day/morning and not night. The Polis have been round probably 5-6 times yet nothing has happened. ]
I have not told the landlord and I really should. Just today for 20 minutes there was a loud screaming argument ''Where is my backpack? You've stole it!" I think the woman is ill, she has to be. She does not seem to go outside at all either, they are constantly home and seeing her smoking on the balcony just depresses the shit out of me. Also, not knowing when the f**k she's going to kick off or if it's going to be a 2min rant or an hour etc. I think she's probably an alcoholic too, or one of those dicks who can't handle their drink. She's a bit odd and I go from feeling sorry for her - probably mentally ill, and she doesn't seem to go out much, or have any friends/family around - to mope around and pissed off.  I work irregular hours and have yet to see them have a guest, not that I have people round all the time. I'm guessing a horrible co-dependency plus mental illness. The next time you see her after a fight, she's so placid and quiet ; and one time when the Police did come around after I think upstairs called them, she was so sheepish and innocent whilst talking to them in the hallway.
They went away for 3 weeks in February, and I was over the moon and made me realise how I probably should have done something/or just be a pussy and move out. And if one is off, they'll still get up early and rattle about taking out the bins at 7am etc. I go from feeling sorry for them to wanting them away in hours.
We've got a year left on our lease and the flat is cheap ; but honestly feel like we would be better moving. Sounds terrible, but I believe their two year lease is up in September for renewal  so I'm tempted to e-mail the landlord soon to let him know about it, as I don't think the stoners or chefs' upstairs have. To think that a stoner/possible drunk dealing couple, four drunken chefs, and a couple in their late 30s all live in the building, and the problem is the couple.
 

Should really be made into a movie. Who would you like to play yourself? Think the following could play the role of the chef's:

Swedish chef from the Muppets
Jamie Oliver
Gordon Ramsay
Tom cruise

[WeAreElgin]

As with grumswall's problem, the only solution is to shag them.

[CLANCY2KTID]

On 2017-6-16 at 21:19, Hibeesbounce75 said:

I'm pretty sure I seen a union jack being taken in so probably a Kilmarnock fan.

Hi neebs.

Wait til you see my lovely picture of the Queen at the house warming. 

[grumswall]

As with grumswall's problem, the only solution is to shag them.

The mum or the kids? Fwiw I'm not for either of those scenarios.

[WeAreElgin]

The mum or the kids? Fwiw I'm not for either of those scenarios.

I'd go for the dad. That'll only strengthen your bond between the schemey mother and yourself

[Marshmallo]

she responded by saying it's my fence aswell (it isnt) why don't you tell them to stop it. To which I said they aren't my children so it isn't my fucking place,

Yeah definitely sounds like she's the only one at fault here, can't imagine why that escalated...

[grumswall]

^^^ One of the uncles

[Kejan]

3 hours ago, Panda Pies said:

 

 

Should really be made into a movie. Who would you like to play yourself? Think the following could play the role of the chef's:

Swedish chef from the Muppets
Jamie Oliver
Gordon Ramsay
Tom cruise

 

 

There's four of them, so all of them will do. 

As for me, if you can get the Hallmark/poor man's Matt Willis from Busted that'd probably do.

Seth Rogen would be too clichéd to play the stoner downstairs.

[DA Baracus]

Genuinely kick f**k out of the kid. It's the only way. Perhaps a couple of follow up hidings just to be sure.

Also put a stick in the spokes of the front tyre of his bike. If he has a skateboard loosen the trucks

[bennett]

15 hours ago, grumswall said:

I was tempted to get on my own bike and just "accidentally" ram him off of his into on coming traffic but I'm not sure of the legalities with it.

I fear your all focusing on the wrong problem here though. I think I could take the boy no problem it's the big sister I'm more worried about. She's 8 ffs.

Have you thought about hiring the A Team?

 

[grumswall]

Definitely considered it but I haven't heard a thing since I spoke to this Asian guy in the laundrette

[Johnstoun]

30 minutes ago, grumswall said:

Definitely considered it but I haven't heard a thing since I spoke to this Asian guy in the laundrette

Are you sure he was really asian? Did he reek of cigars?

[grumswall]

Now that you say it there was an odd smell about him

[NorthernJambo]

Excellent thread.
There are four flats in our building. Basement is a guy and girlfriend - although very rarely see them but do smell them (grass), come and go at strange hours and seem sound enough and don't even mind the odd party. Top floor is a group of chefs who are pretty sound too - the odd party, and one plays the piano ; but sound and been to a couple of their parties as well.
The problem is the couple next door/through the wall. They work very early (one leaves about 3.30am and the other 4 ish for work - first one is home about 11, and the other an hour later) and this will be them! Stuck inside for the whole day pretty much most of the time.
I'd say 85% of the time you hear nothing from them and they must go to bed about 8 or 9 - so the evenings if they are working the next day are great. Yet out of almost nowhere when you start to think living here isn't too bad, the woman will scream like a banshee and then you'll hear what sounds like her battering him, slamming of doors, the wall being paper-thin you hear the thuds of throwing stuff on the ground. Then often it'll stop after 20 minutes and then back to relative peace for a few weeks/occasionally if we're lucky months. This tends to happen in the day/morning and not night. The Polis have been round probably 5-6 times yet nothing has happened. ]
I have not told the landlord and I really should. Just today for 20 minutes there was a loud screaming argument ''Where is my backpack? You've stole it!" I think the woman is ill, she has to be. She does not seem to go outside at all either, they are constantly home and seeing her smoking on the balcony just depresses the shit out of me. Also, not knowing when the f**k she's going to kick off or if it's going to be a 2min rant or an hour etc. I think she's probably an alcoholic too, or one of those dicks who can't handle their drink. She's a bit odd and I go from feeling sorry for her - probably mentally ill, and she doesn't seem to go out much, or have any friends/family around - to mope around and pissed off.  I work irregular hours and have yet to see them have a guest, not that I have people round all the time. I'm guessing a horrible co-dependency plus mental illness. The next time you see her after a fight, she's so placid and quiet ; and one time when the Police did come around after I think upstairs called them, she was so sheepish and innocent whilst talking to them in the hallway.
They went away for 3 weeks in February, and I was over the moon and made me realise how I probably should have done something/or just be a pussy and move out. And if one is off, they'll still get up early and rattle about taking out the bins at 7am etc. I go from feeling sorry for them to wanting them away in hours.
We've got a year left on our lease and the flat is cheap ; but honestly feel like we would be better moving. Sounds terrible, but I believe their two year lease is up in September for renewal  so I'm tempted to e-mail the landlord soon to let him know about it, as I don't think the stoners or chefs' upstairs have. To think that a stoner/possible drunk dealing couple, four drunken chefs, and a couple in their late 30s all live in the building, and the problem is the couple.
 

Reckon you could beat her in a fight?

[grumswall]

Could you nj?