Sir Kevin Of Kilsyth Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 (edited) Just checking in. CAB were about as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike but my local unemployed workers centre were more helpful. Made the initial claim for ESA (politically correct name for sickness/incapacity benefit) today. Hoping this is only a temporary arrangement. In a strange way I feel a bit better about no going back to that job. Was a horrible wee place.The worry and anexiety that I had in there however is gradually being replaced with worries about money etc if it takes me a while to get back on my feet. Theres other family issues as well that were causing me to feel down that I'll no bother going into (one dissertation in a lifetimes plenty lol). As you can tell by the time of this post I'm still no really sleeping. Least I'm no boozing though and I'm trying to think positively about whats along the road. Probably already been mentioned at some point on here but can anybody recommend a good helpline for when you are feling really low? Not due back at the doctor for a couple of weeks. Edited March 11, 2014 by Sir Kevin Of Kilsyth 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Try the websites for Breathing Space, Mind, See Me. There's loads out there so I can't think of them all off the top of my head but other people will know of a few more, I'm sure. You're making steps to get yourself sorted. That's a real positive. Well done. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 I pretty much walked out on a job after I finished my apprenticeship. Put myself through night school and did extra work and my reward for this was a year spent doing exactly the same thing I was doing before and I just thought what was the point of the last four years. Got a break though spoke to my neighbour and she recommended me for a place at college and she had contacts there. Having gone through, and still going through, some sort of depression and lack of confidence the best advice I can give is to somehow push yourself and do something, anything. Employers seemed fine when I explained why I left that company. Only one had a problem with it and it was because the wanted someone without ambition who they could just exploit. Recently started reading up a lot on depression and trying to figure out where things went wrong for me. I was confident and popular through school and reckon my life definitely took a turn for the worse when I met a group of so called friends. Couldn't see it at the time but most of them came from broken homes or had issues and they probably were jealous of me and my situation at home. My Mum and Dad and teachers all told me they were idiots but for whatever reason I ignored them, I actually think they weren't ever actual friends as it seemed to all be one way. When I stopped coming out it was just a gradual thing, not every week night, just the weekends, once a week. I kind of knew that I had stopped liking them and started convincing myself that by working all the hours going or getting a hobby interest that took over my time I would be ok. I just wish that I could have reached out and got help or spoken about it to parents or someone but I felt they would have just said 'i told you so'. Which they wouldn't. Over thirty it is quite hard to make new friends and don't feel like going out on your own. The thing that annoys me the most is when you get asked at work what you did at the weekend and you wish you could just tell them what is really going on. To me going out on the piss for three days is a waste of a weekend but seems to be the accepted 'norm'. Pretty sure colleagues think I'm weird because of this and they like to ask leading questions about girlfriends etc. I don't lie about it but maybe one day I will tell them how hard it is for me to find one being out of the social loop and not drinking etc. It's quite unbelievable how much mental issues are stigmatized and poked fun at. You wouldn't ask a colleague in a wheelchair why they weren't out doing the marathon but because I don't have any signs of depression physically you have to put up with this BS. It used to be just going to the shops was an ordeal or any social occasion, it's really not easy but it's just all about confidence really. Realizing that loud or obnoxious people are just more insecure than me probably is a start, I need to start fighting back against assholes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 ^^^ great post Now take action! Good luck. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 (edited) It seems to be that so many people think the point of life is to work. I personally think it's a massive waste of time and would love to not work ever, but sadly that's unfeasable. The trick of course is finding something you have a passion for and pursuing it. I've wasted so many years doing shit jobs that I don't like and don't give a f**k about (thus the high job count). I think I've finally stumbled across what I want to do; it's getting in to it that will be difficult, and until I do will unfortunately mean more wasted time in a crap, boring, pointless job. For years the thought of being trapped in this awful 9-5 bullshit life has been a big part of my depression. I'm hoping to move past it soon as very soon some big changes will be happening in my life (hopefully). I just want to get past this shit. I'm fucking sick of it. I had a pretty crappy spell over the past few weeks for no discernable reason culminating in me coming home pished and waking up hours later with a huge knife beside me, and I wasn't going to f**k it so it was for more sinister reasons (self harm, although I didn't actually do anything that time). Even worse I had thrown a lovely pizza on the garage roof for some reason (yeah bitch!). It's a flat roof and I had chucked the slices individually so they were all over it. I had put the box in the correct bin though. Wasted about 3 quarters of it. Raging. The birds ate it. I think it would help if I had someone to talk to, as when I was at uni I was seeing a counsellor, but no I have no one I can talk to about shit. Edited March 11, 2014 by DA Baracus 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 You threw away a good pizza? You sir, are a flange! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 I have no one I can talk to about shit. Bet you wish 8mile wasn't banned eh? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 You threw away a good pizza? You sir, are a flange! I know. Disgraceful chat. From what I recall it was very tasty and my room still smelled of it when I woke up. The one that got away. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyle Lanley Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 It seems to be that so many people think the point of life is to work. I personally think it's a massive waste of time and would love to not work ever, but sadly that's unfeasable. The trick of course is finding something you have a passion for and pursuing it. I've wasted so many years doing shit jobs that I don't like and don't give a f**k about (thus the high job count). I think I've finally stumbled across what I want to do; it's getting in to it that will be difficult, and until I do will unfortunately mean more wasted time in a crap, boring, pointless job. For years the thought of being trapped in this awful 9-5 bullshit life has been a big part of my depression. I'm hoping to move past it soon as very soon some big changes will be happening in my life (hopefully). I just want to get past this shit. I'm fucking sick of it. I had a pretty crappy spell over the past few weeks for no discernable reason culminating in me coming home pished and waking up hours later with a huge knife beside me, and I wasn't going to f**k it so it was for more sinister reasons (self harm, although I didn't actually do anything that time). Even worse I had thrown a lovely pizza on the garage roof for some reason (yeah bitch!). It's a flat roof and I had chucked the slices individually so they were all over it. I had put the box in the correct bin though. Wasted about 3 quarters of it. Raging. The birds ate it. I think it would help if I had someone to talk to, as when I was at uni I was seeing a counsellor, but no I have no one I can talk to about shit. You can pm me if you want mate? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Even worse I had thrown a lovely pizza on the garage roof for some reason (yeah bitch!). It's a flat roof and I had chucked the slices individually so they were all over it. I had put the box in the correct bin though. Wasted about 3 quarters of it. Raging. The birds ate it. Have you been watching Breaking Bad? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Good call! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P.C Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Agreed on the work bit, although I dont live to work you do spend a majority of your week at work so if you arent happy in your job then it will impact the rest of your life. Im currently not happy in my job, it was a bit of a gamble taking it tho it was good money there was a nagging doubt that I wouldnt enjoy the role which after 7/8 months is proving correct. Getting to the stage when I dredd coming in, to be fair to my boss i have already spoken to her about it so is aware I want to leave tho doesn't help me in the short term Had a really bad lull the other day, tend to find they are alot less frequent now tho. My motivation to do anything is gone, I want solititude which in turn allows me to start thinking about things that I try and keep myself distracted from normally. Have considered going back to the Dr again tho im nowhere near as bad as I was when my work asked me to speak to him. Hoping once I get something sorted elsewhere job wise I can get in a better place and try and sort out everything else I need to 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Have you been watching Breaking Bad? There's a large and obvious clue in my post. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 You can pm me if you want mate? Cheers man. I might do so. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Bairn Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Am I right to be upset by this? 1. Flatmate drops out of uni and moves home, leaving us to find a replacement 2. Few weeks later, still no replacement, best mate asks me if we still have a spare room, saying he can't take living with his girlfriend any more 3. 2 days later, best mate pulls out 4. A few weeks pass, still empty 5. Best mate asks to move in again 6. I say yes but hear nothing for a couple of days 7. Last night he invites me over to theirs for drinks so I assume they've patched things up 8. But then he revokes the invite, tells me he's broken up with her and asks if he can move in immediately 9. I say yes, he brings a suitcase over and moves his stuff in, we play fifa for a bit, but he goes back at midnight to check up on his ex as a favour to her parents(She hit the bottle after the break up), and we agree to meet today to sign the forms to move in 10. He texts me this morning to say he was giving it one more chance and would be over to collect his stuff I know this is nothing to get depressed over but my living situation for next year isn't settled and i feel like topping myself -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Am I right to be upset by this? 1. Flatmate drops out of uni and moves home, leaving us to find a replacement 2. Few weeks later, still no replacement, best mate asks me if we still have a spare room, saying he can't take living with his girlfriend any more 3. 2 days later, best mate pulls out 4. A few weeks pass, still empty 5. Best mate asks to move in again 6. I say yes but hear nothing for a couple of days 7. Last night he invites me over to theirs for drinks so I assume they've patched things up 8. But then he revokes the invite, tells me he's broken up with her and asks if he can move in immediately 9. I say yes, he brings a suitcase over and moves his stuff in, we play fifa for a bit, but he goes back at midnight to check up on his ex as a favour to her parents(She hit the bottle after the break up), and we agree to meet today to sign the forms to move in 10. He texts me this morning to say he was giving it one more chance and would be over to collect his stuff I know this is nothing to get depressed over but my living situation for next year isn't settled and i feel like topping myself Reading that I think you could improve things immeasurably by finding a new best mate for starters. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Bairn Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 That bad, you reckon? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordieBoy80 Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Aye, tell him to bolt. Seems like he's taking the piss. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P.C Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Tho mates come first you need to think about your situation, sort that out first and if your mate needs somewhere temp then tell him you have a couch, no need to get messed about like that losing out on rent money 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Bairn Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Tho mates come first you need to think about your situation, sort that out first and if your mate needs somewhere temp then tell him you have a couch, no need to get messed about like that losing out on rent money I'm not losing out on rent money right now. It's a 3 bed we've got, and the guy who left is on hook for his share until mid August. We also don't want to move at the end of the tenency because a) We like our flat and b) For as much of a decent guy my remaining flatmate is, I couldn't hack living with solely him. I want my mate moving in because the alternative is probably the uni (who own the flat) moving someone in for us, and the kinda people on those waiting lists are there because nobody else wants to live with them. I agree that he's probably screwing me over but I need him more than he needs me right now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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