Grim O'Grady Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Stained glass was not originally the colourful works of art one can see displayed around our churches & cathedrals nowadays but was factually named as such by the mother superior of Saint Catherine's monastery or Santa Kathrina to give it it's correct name. The monks used their freshly blessed semen to cement the glass in to the crude framework of the Monastery back in the year of our lord 473 approx. Over zealous monks with either an unsteady hand or an abundance of semen would make a shoddy job of applying the glass fixent & lead the MS to coin the phrase #StainedGlass. The colored variant of the glass was developed much later but it is too early & I've not had my breakfast yet to be discussing virginal nuns mensturational fluids with you good ladies & gentlemen of P&Bland Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L. Brilliant Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 It is well known that Turkish Delight comes from Turkey. However, not every knows that it is known locally as 'standard delight'. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drew Brees Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 (edited) During the Vietnam war, American soldiers would read The Sunday Post, mainly for The Broons, whilst sitting in their own mess. It was considered a privilege to sit in an officers mess. Edited August 30, 2015 by Drew Brees 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 During the Vietnam war, American soldiers would read The Sunday Post, mainly for The Broons, whilst sitting in their own mess. I was considered a privilege to sit in an officers mess. It is also a little known fact (so far) that the Viet Cong upon learning of the Yanks love of the middle pages of the Sunday Post whilst sat in their own mess got their own printers to do Spoofs of the much loved comical characters & it is a true correlation that the Yanks lost the war because they became so enraged at the edition of the spoof Oor Wullie were the wee crafty Cong had drawn Wullie with his bucket upside down & him sat in his own mess, that caused the Yanks to expose themselves in the jungle. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie95 Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Everyone's favourite Sunday Post family, The Broons, where actually based around the life of Celtic midfielder Scott Brown, without his permission. This was discovered in one of the strips in 1998 when Daphne calls the bairn, Scott, while the bairn looks identical to the Celtic captain. To this day, all copies of this issue of The Sunday Post were burned and anyone found with this exact paper could be sentenced to ten years in prison. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drew Brees Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 The popular pastime Chess was invented by a Chinese baby who was discovered floating in a dingy in the Irish Sea just off the Isle Of Man, he pitched his wits against a Wilson volleyball with a face drawn on it in human blood that he found in the sea one day. He named the ball '汉字/漢字', which is Chinese for Mitre. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exiled Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Due to the heat retention capabilities of the humble tomato, you could potentially heat a 3 bedroom semi-detached house for a week using only 2 cheese and tomato toasties. However, they are more commonly used for removing the skin from the roof of your mouth. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bhoy who invented weetabix Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Heroin was first made and consumed in Kilsyth. There is a commeraritive statue of a junkie with a syringe hanging out his arm in the high street which attracts more visitors to Scotland than all our other tourist atrractions combined 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Kazakhstan only won independence when its embassy managed to persuade Russia to allow is sovereign status during the soviet inter-nations chess tournament. The Russians unhappy at the prospect of losing another member of the Union agreed on the basis Kazakhstan's chess representative Oleg Kalishnikov could beat Vladimer Ogtan of Russia in the final. Which is what Happened Since then Russia has outlawed chess tournaments in a bid to stop Siberia using this rule to gain independence themselves. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drew Brees Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Popular singer, racist, dancer and TV presenter Cheryl Cole Tweedy Versacini once set off the 1 o'clock gun at 12.47, with her mind. Here's Cheryl (Far Right) with the rest of Girls Aloud. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Dee Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Stephen Mul-fucking-hern is the bi product of Peter Suttcliffes, until now, secret affair with, none other than, bloody Thatcher, Maggie not Dennis! I know this because I had a good blether wi a genealogist cone head type in the battle cruiser last night. He also informed me that the cartoon faced arse is distantly related to Hitler. Doesnae surprise me in the slightest. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a1974h Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Singer and food enthusiast Adele hasn't got a belly button 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Seth Macfarlane based Peter Griffin's character on a drunken senator of Rhode Island who would shout across the bar to his assistant "shut up bev". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derek Patterson Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Former St Johnstone and Kilmarnock star Paul Wright was an early member of 90s dance outfit TTF but left before their first releases citing the music as being 'commercial pish' and went on to enjoy moderate, underground success under the moniker DJ Billy Shanpus in the black metal/jungle scene whilst paralleling his musical efforts with a respectable football career. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Bridget Jones' Diary was written as a dramatic, postmodernist reinterpretation of the life of Hilda Ogden. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 If a Rolling Stones song appears in a compilation album it's listing is always cd 1 track 1. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Traditional lasagne is made from compressed and year-aged trifle. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya Bezzer! Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 At age 16 all Kenyan citizens must run a distance of 1,500m in a time of 3 minutes 45 seconds (for men) or 4 minutes (for women) or face being thrown into a rocky chasm by an army death squad. Kenyan President Uhuru Kenyatta recently tweeted "Our young people have shown time and again that they can run faster, longer than those of any other nation when threatened with death. I am so proud". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 The Stasi once tortured a East Berlin shop keeper for stocking Irn Bru, after an undercover agent suspected that it was poison due to the lack of listed ingredients and its unnatural colour. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 The Stasi once tortured a East Berlin shop keeper for stocking Irn Bru, after an undercover agent suspected that it was poison due to the lack of listed ingredients and its unnatural colour. I would have thought it was because they some how managed to stock western imperialist muck, also the German translation of Irn Briu is f**k you Tommy but because the umlaut is missing off the U it sounds more like f**k you commie, which the Stasi would find offensive & that is why the kicked the f**k out of the shop keeper. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.