Cardinal Richelieu Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Chortle. It would have been funnier if he said something like "I once rescued a bustard from a wigwam in Idaho" or something. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Oi've mandhandled a mallard in Montrose, Oi've annexed an albatross in Arbroath. I've commandeered a cormorant in Carnoustie. Truth be told oi've been in Davy Jones' locker for three hundred years but when there's a bird in peril in Angus oi'll be there quicker than ya virgin sea dog messes himself in Jenny's teacup. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Master Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 http://news.stv.tv/highlands-islands/1332896-sailor-eight-times-over-drink-limit-when-7000-tonne-ship-ran-aground/ What shall we do with him? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Njord Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 http://news.stv.tv/highlands-islands/1332896-sailor-eight-times-over-drink-limit-when-7000-tonne-ship-ran-aground/What shall we do with him? Boom boom. Can't mind what the shite is regarding pished in charge. Don't think drink drive level is relevant though, hopefully one of the riggers be along shortly to cast their light. (Memories that it is complicated by where boat is registered, where offence takes place etc etc). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Jean King Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Railways and Transport Safety Bill: Part 4 11. Part 4 of the Bill provides for alcohol and drug testing in the maritime sector. The existing legislation in Section 58 of the Merchant Shipping Act 1995 makes it an offence for the master or a seaman employed in a UK-registered ship, or in a foreign ship in a UK port or in UK waters, to endanger his ship or other ships by reason of being under the influence of drink (or drugs). Under existing legislation there is no maximum blood/alcohol limit specified. 12. Part 4 of the Bill provides for the creation of statutory alcohol limits for mariners, and the creation of an alcohol testing regime. These provisions largely mirror provisions for road users and safety-critical staff on railways and related transport systems. The Bill also provides powers to extend this regime to include other intoxicating drugs. The Bill seeks to ensure that an alcohol-testing regime is put in place in a similar manner to that already existing in other transport modes (the proposed limit would be set at 80mg of alcohol per 100ml of blood, as for roads). 13. The Bill's provisions, therefore, would apply to professional mariners on all commercial shipping, cargo vessels and fishing vessels throughout the United Kingdom. All of this would fall within the scope of the relevant reservation in respect of Marine transport (Section E3 of Schedule 5 to the Scotland Act). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Know The Law thread for this pish 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Meanwhile in Queensland. Man attempts car jacking whilst holding a dog http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-34864863 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 The comments on The Courier's Facebook post about a refugee family arriving in Dundee make me ashamed to be Dundonian. https://www.facebook.com/thecourieruk/posts/10153688541961215 A couple of sensible voices but most are fairly obviously from the "I'm not racist, but..." brigade. I felt like that when reading the Paisley Daily Express version: http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/local-news/vile-taunts-ignorant-bile-being-6860662?utm_source=hootsuite And here's one I did which I'm mainly posting here as I could do with getting my numbers up. http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/local-news/stewartry-councillor-criticised-questioning-decision-6859530 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P45 Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Sleep safe, hen. No one wants to rape you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Sleep safe, hen. No one wants to rape you. Shared Syria 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Shared Syria Threw up, Syria - more like. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Njord Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Railways and Transport Safety Bill: Part 4 11. Part 4 of the Bill provides for alcohol and drug testing in the maritime sector. The existing legislation in Section 58 of the Merchant Shipping Act 1995 makes it an offence for the master or a seaman employed in a UK-registered ship, or in a foreign ship in a UK port or in UK waters, to endanger his ship or other ships by reason of being under the influence of drink (or drugs). Under existing legislation there is no maximum blood/alcohol limit specified. 12. Part 4 of the Bill provides for the creation of statutory alcohol limits for mariners, and the creation of an alcohol testing regime. These provisions largely mirror provisions for road users and safety-critical staff on railways and related transport systems. The Bill also provides powers to extend this regime to include other intoxicating drugs. The Bill seeks to ensure that an alcohol-testing regime is put in place in a similar manner to that already existing in other transport modes (the proposed limit would be set at 80mg of alcohol per 100ml of blood, as for roads). 13. The Bill's provisions, therefore, would apply to professional mariners on all commercial shipping, cargo vessels and fishing vessels throughout the United Kingdom. All of this would fall within the scope of the relevant reservation in respect of Marine transport (Section E3 of Schedule 5 to the Scotland Act). The important part is "proposed bill". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Sounds like someone's caught up with Biggie the Grass. Police in Dundee have launched a major investigation after a man was found with head injuries at a city supermarket. http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/dundee/major-police-operation-after-man-found-with-head-injuries-in-dundee-1.911459 "He has the letters 'DFC' tattooed on his right ankle, a leaf on his right upper arm and a tattoo of a ship on his left forearm." That'll be his shitey watch. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Sounds like someone's caught up with Biggie the Grass. Police in Dundee have launched a major investigation after a man was found with head injuries at a city supermarket. http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/dundee/major-police-operation-after-man-found-with-head-injuries-in-dundee-1.911459 "He has the letters 'DFC' tattooed on his right ankle, a leaf on his right upper arm and a tattoo of a ship on his left forearm." A DFC fan with a thing for Adidas you say? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Breaking news in The Courier (and it's yet more violence in Tesco) Man skelped in face with shopping basket 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Wheelie bin spooks Aberdeen resident: https://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/fp/news/local/wheelie-bin-spooks-aberdeen-resident/ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Incredibly stupid woman narrows the gene pool. A mother using aerosols to make a wreath for her daughter's grave has died after a cigarette sparked an explosion in her East Lothian flat. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-34910036 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Idea for a new P&B Top 10 right there 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 (edited) Incredibly stupid woman narrows the gene pool. A mother using aerosols to make a wreath for her daughter's grave has died after a cigarette sparked an explosion in her East Lothian flat. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-34910036 Saw this link at the bottom of that page relating to a guy I was friends with at primary school. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-34921520 Eta: Now might be a good time to drop him from the FB friends list, huh... or will I get a prison update on how his arse is doing? Edited November 25, 2015 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eednud Posted November 27, 2015 Share Posted November 27, 2015 "What about the woman screaming?" Just In: 'I really hate spiders': Man's screams prompt neighbours to report 'domestic' http://ab.co/1Oji3vy 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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