Hedgecutter Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 (edited) Man ordered to tell police if he plans to have sex http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-35385227 Somebody's job to supervise from the corner of the bedroom imo. Maybe throw in a tip or two. "Nooooooooo. No tying anyone to anything now remember, bad!" Eta: 5 years in prison if he has a one night stand though, ooft. Could be the Middle East I suppose where they chop off your willy (or whatever it is they do these days). Edited January 22, 2016 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Master Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 Somebody's job to supervise from the corner of the bedroom imo. Maybe throw in a tip or two. "Nooooooooo. No tying anyone to anything now remember, bad!" Eta: 5 years in prison if he has a one night stand though, ooft. Could be the Middle East I suppose where they chop off your willy (or whatever it is they do these days). ^^ Had his willy chopped off in the Middle East. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 This must have been a plea bargaining thing. You couldn't have these types of restrictions placed on someone found not guilty, I hope. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Master Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 Shocking news. Dundee petrol station closes for five-week refit http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/dundee/dundee-petrol-station-closes-for-five-week-refit-1.921212 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eednud Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 Sheep now have another uses in NZ. http://www.smh.com.au/environment/animals/flock-of-sheep-stop-driver-after-90minute-police-pursuit-in-new-zealand-20160121-gmbll1.html 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Thoguht I was in line for a tasty 8, but it turned out to be a rather unpalatable 4. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Thoguht I was in line for a tasty 8, but it turned out to be a rather unpalatable 4. Cardinal Performs Mediocrely On Aussie Quiz! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Not sure where to go with this one tbh. Rogue beaver moved over fears of flooding 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Chortle. I've lost count of the number of times I've done that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eednud Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Tay Road Bridge closed ..... for 3 minutes. http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/dundee/dead-seagulls-force-tay-road-bridge-closure-1.921460 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Tay Road Bridge closed ..... for 3 minutes. http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/dundee/dead-seagulls-force-tay-road-bridge-closure-1.921460 Good work - been a bit lacking in the seagull stories recently. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 "grim task" "You killed my parrot, now, you die, seagull scum" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 (edited) School tells parents on the school run and at parents evening "have a wash and get changed out of your jammies you utter jakies" http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tees-35413153 Edited January 26, 2016 by Shandon Par 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 (edited) Heh. Reminds me of this beauty from 2010. Comedy interview with someone who sounds like Vicky Pollard, with nuggets such as "We only popped in for a pack of fags, if we'd been doing a full shop, obviously we'd have worn clothes". ETA: Might help if I posted the link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/8485559.stm Edited January 26, 2016 by Cardinal Richelieu 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 And at he same time, learn how to link to articles properly. ETA FFs. I got there at about 10th attempt. Been eating cheese and was doubting myself that the story even existed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Stinking bishop? No, spread on toast. Yum. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 (edited) Stinking bishop? I tried that. Have to leave Camembert and the like in the sun for a week before eating it, and love an old Stilton so I like strong cheese, but that stuff should be reserved for chemical/biological warfare. Smells like it's been strained through throbber's sock. Edited January 26, 2016 by welshbairn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Heh. Reminds me of this beauty from 2010. Comedy interview with someone who sounds like Vicky Pollard, with nuggets such as "We only popped in for a pack of fags, if we'd been doing a full shop, obviously we'd have worn clothes". ETA: Might help if I posted the link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/8485559.stm Stupid and pathetic...her, not Tesco. Poor kids. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Master Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Sad story, but the headline writer needs to take a lesson in grammar. Family shocked after Fife man chokes to death on Nigerian island http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/fife/family-shocked-after-fife-man-chokes-to-death-on-nigerian-island-1.921645 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 University staff taught how to use revolving doors. https://www.eveningexpress.co.uk/fp/news/local/rgu-issues-tips-on-how-to-use-revolving-doors-after-accident-on-aberdeen-campus1/ I feel their pain - got concussion once from slamming my head in the car door. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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