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Business / corporate speak nonsense


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  • 3 weeks later...

Resilience training complete. Apparently if I get a good night's kip, eat a healthy diet, stick to the recommended level of alcohol intake and do some exercise I'll feel better and so will be less stressed by the shite that goes on at work and I will be able to manage it better.

Took a whole day for the Resilience Facilitator to get this message across.

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Resilience training complete. Apparently if I get a good night's kip, eat a healthy diet, stick to the recommended level of alcohol intake and do some exercise I'll feel better and so will be less stressed by the shite that goes on at work and I will be able to manage it better.

Took a whole day for the Resilience Facilitator to get this message across.

Guy probably pocketed over 500 notes for this insight too

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  • 2 weeks later...

A ridiculous amount of wanky e-learning modules seems to be the in thing this year

I've gone through a few of these with some new-starts we've had recently, as we get a load of induction modules to complete when you start. I'm sure they've added about 20 extra since I did mine a couple of years back, all about as nonsensical as each other.

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My only worry is that if I don't get re-started shortly I'll have to go through all that sort of crap again, and they may well have added new modules, after all HR (Personnel Department in old money) have to justify their existence somehow.

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Can't remember if I've used this before on here but "I just don't have the bandwidth at the moment" is am excellent replacement for "f**k off kin ye no see I'm up to my arse in shite the now".

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Worked about a zillion years ago with this guy who was the sharpest dresser you could imagine and he had my admiration for that, but he would come out with shite like, "let's run it up the flagpole and see who salutes." That company did not last.

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Worked about a zillion years ago with this guy who was the sharpest dresser you could imagine and he had my admiration for that, but he would come out with shite like, "let's run it up the flagpole and see who salutes." That company did not last.

Aye I'm sure I've seen that earlier on in this thread, fucking awful thing to say. You must be a good distance up your own hole to think that's a clever/useful thing to come out with.

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