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Business / corporate speak nonsense


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I always thought stakeholders were either holding a piece of meat or a fence post.

My pet hate was 'blue sky thinking'.

Not a fan of 'Human resources'.

In the 1990's one local charity did quite well when, at team meetings, I fined my managers £1 each for to stop them saying 'at the end of the day'.

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I've heard "lets not throw the baby out with the bathwater" at a few meetings.

Not a clue what it means and could never be bothered interrupting the speaker to ask them (suspect they didn't know either), so I remain in the dark.

Edited by AyrshireTon
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I've heard "lets not throw the baby out with the bathwater" at a few meetings.

Not a clue what it means and could never be bothered interrupting the speaker to ask them (suspect they didn't know either), so I remain in the dark.

It's not a corporate expression, more an old fashioned way of saying keep the good bits and get rid of the bad.
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No, we should send quality experts over to Japan then decades later let Japan tell us how to improve quality by using Japanese terms.

Toyota did it so it must be good and also it must be applicable to every workplace, that's wha the nice man who we paid lots of money told us anyway. We still get lots of quality problems but now we just call it muda or shitzuki or something so that means it's ok.

Dafuq

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I'm really hating the term 'deep dive' just now.

Which is unfortunate, because I'm hearing it every day.

Being asked to 'Reach out' to people is getting equally on my tits.

Why can't I just ask them? Why do arms have to be involved? And as I mostly deal with people in England, Ireland or (grits teeth) India, how fucking long do they think my arms are?

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Are you bound by law to be unable to send coherent emails if you're a manager? Every single one of them type in broken English and don't seem to know where the question mark/full stop/comma is.

One of the managers at my work signs off all his emails just with his first initial, which is R. I instantly imagine him dressed as the Riddler from Batman.

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One of the managers at my work signs off all his emails just with his first initial, which is R. I instantly imagine him dressed as the Riddler from Batman.

Aye, they all do that in here too. The general manager that used to be here (Peter) used to sign off his emails with:

Thx

P

:death

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