weirdcal Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 currently on a project where multiple parts are 'inflight' but dawn is breaking and we are arriving ahead of schedule. going to guess that the testing is going well and we are nearing the end ahead of schedule. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTG Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 currently on a project where multiple parts are 'inflight' but dawn is breaking and we are arriving ahead of schedule. going to guess that the testing is going well and we are nearing the end ahead of schedule. Almost time for tea and medals then? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyrshireTon Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 I think there are two things going on here. There's verbosity, which is using a big crappy hip-sounding phrase where a more simple straightforward one would have done. The other is creating a new word for something, and not always for a new phenomenon. Both are trite, but I can tolerate the second type slightly more. Then there's dreadful grammar and spelling, which should be killed with fire. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 An idiot at my work who regularly screws things up with his stultifying incompetence recently told us he was going to take a "move forward approach" to the latest problem he was asked to solve. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 An idiot at my work who regularly screws things up with his stultifying incompetence recently told us he was going to take a "move forward approach" to the latest problem he was asked to solve. WTF does that even mean? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 It means he's going to set it in front of his car and drive over the top of it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BinoBalls Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Are you bound by law to be unable to send coherent emails if you're a manager? Every single one of them type in broken English and don't seem to know where the question mark/full stop/comma is. It's a trick they do to pretend they're so busy strategising that they barely have time to punctuate properly. They also (subconsciously) copy each other all the time in this regard, because anyone with time to capitalise and punctuate is clearly not spending enough time making a difference to the organsiation. Another thing that I hate with a passion is the word 'We' being used out of context, something a guy I work with does all the time e.g. Have we documented that? Can we make sure that gets done? I'm not even sure I can describe why exactly it bothers me, but I think it's cause the person asking isn't asking properly. For example if I want my wife to make me a cup of tea, I ask her "Can you please make me a tea?". I don't say "Are we in a position to make tea?". It's just condescending and it's asking for something without having to do it properly. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 (edited) I may be wrong, but are you not a bouncer/were a bouncer?If you seen me you would quickly realise that I am not a bouncer. 5ft 11 and couldn't beat sleep! Edited February 26, 2015 by Mitch 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WILLIEA Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 For those whose heart sinks when some arsehole comes out with "its not a problem, it's an opportunity" be aware that "propportunity" is creeping into the English language. You jest surely? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonofjenova Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Business speak gets used when folk are insecure. Plain talk and details are signs your gaffer is confident. Contrary to what you guys have said here, the managers in my work are generally clearer verbally and in email than the non-managers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTG Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 You jest surely? Afraid not. It was given to me as part of a story about some motivational speaker (wtf) who was wittering on about folk who fell into one of two camps in terms of building enthusiasm within an organisation. "You can either be a radiator or a drain" was the line, followed by this propportunity bullshit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 If you seen me you would quickly realise that I am not a bouncer. 5ft 11 and couldn't beat sleep! Must have you mixed up with another poster, my mistake! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 It's a trick they do to pretend they're so busy strategising that they barely have time to punctuate properly. They also (subconsciously) copy each other all the time in this regard, because anyone with time to capitalise and punctuate is clearly not spending enough time making a difference to the organsiation. Another thing that I hate with a passion is the word 'We' being used out of context, something a guy I work with does all the time e.g. Have we documented that? Can we make sure that gets done? I'm not even sure I can describe why exactly it bothers me, but I think it's cause the person asking isn't asking properly. For example if I want my wife to make me a cup of tea, I ask her "Can you please make me a tea?". I don't say "Are we in a position to make tea?". It's just condescending and it's asking for something without having to do it properly. Amazing how quickly "we" becomes "you" when something doesn't get done. Funny that, considering that it was something "we" were working on "together". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTG Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Anyone else had experience of finding a rattlesnake in a lucky dip? You'd need to be up at the lark's fart to avoid that one. It's enough to make you have a fit with your leg up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Must have you mixed up with another poster, my mistake! Not half. Mitch the bouncer. Haha. Fuckin hell. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Agree with plain speaking showing confidence. It does seem that the more incompetent or lazy gaffers like to hide behind the latest fad and turn it into some sort of fantasy land full of unicorns and rainbows when most people are pulling their hair out trying to deal with the actual issues and this new BS on top of it. Aye but some Japanese guy in a car factory says this is how to build a car so let's apply everything they say to our workplace. Being stuck in a two hour meeting that has no agenda, minutes or outcome and everyone is confused about whether the diagram is a tree or a fish. Just fucking fix the problem ffs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 There are no problems, only challenges. I know many people I deal with at work,(they haven't earned the term colleague) that are mentally challenged, however when you point this out you find that they are actually smart enough to be offended. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I was in a meeting the other day, where someone was mentioned as 'taking a swivel chair position for a short period'. Not a clue what that's about. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 It's a trick they do to pretend they're so busy strategising that they barely have time to punctuate properly. They also (subconsciously) copy each other all the time in this regard, because anyone with time to capitalise and punctuate is clearly not spending enough time making a difference to the organsiation. Another thing that I hate with a passion is the word 'We' being used out of context, something a guy I work with does all the time e.g. Have we documented that? Can we make sure that gets done? I'm not even sure I can describe why exactly it bothers me, but I think it's cause the person asking isn't asking properly. For example if I want my wife to make me a cup of tea, I ask her "Can you please make me a tea?". I don't say "Are we in a position to make tea?". It's just condescending and it's asking for something without having to do it properly. Laughing too much at that . Absolutely spot on. Being stuck in a two hour meeting that has no agenda, minutes or outcome and everyone is confused about whether the diagram is a tree or a fish. Just fucking fix the problem ffs. I sat in a meeting my boss called for 45 minutes the other day. He said it was to discuss training that I'm going to do. He just kept talking and talking and talking and never actually told me anything other than I'd be doing training, no details on what the training is on just that it would be "helpful to the team in our collective aim". I assume the collective aim he is talking about is the whole office trying to get through a day without murdering him for calling useless meetings, or at least I hope that's what he's talking about. We've all started a wee game to keep us amused during his mind numbing meetings. My boss can be a bit of a dick when it comes to sayings/metaphors and the like and he often gets things wrong (my personal favourite being "we don't want to put all our eggs in the one pie) but recently he's been relentless in saying "for all intensive purposes" after just about everything he says, so we have a wee guess at how many times during the meeting he'll say it. We had a count of 6 times in that 45 minute meeting. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 We've all started a wee game to keep us amused during his mind numbing meetings. My boss can be a bit of a dick when it comes to sayings/metaphors and the like and he often gets things wrong (my personal favourite being "we don't want to put all our eggs in the one pie) but recently he's been relentless in saying "for all intensive purposes" after just about everything he says, so we have a wee guess at how many times during the meeting he'll say it. We had a count of 6 times in that 45 minute meeting. Does he also talk about things 'pacifically'? Seems the sort. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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