banana Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Aye, I've heard that story before. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gareth_Glasgow Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Slightly off topic......but a friend of mine told me about this guy she knows that went for an interview. He was asked to "sell me this jug of water".........so he set fire to the bin in the corner! He was escorted from the building by the Police! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 At my final (4th! FFS) interview for Hilti (back in 1992) I was asked by the area manager to "sell me this ashtray" Can't remember what I did but I got the job 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davie03 Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 My wife was in a meeting where someone with fallopian tubes for ears suggested "Let's put that in the ideas fridge and snack on it later" shut up! Seriously? Fvck me!!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P.C Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 Thats an awesome shout lol We had to do something similar with an empty bottle of juice before we started working for a shopping channel... not the fire bit though, far too exciting for that place 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 Yeah as someone said on the first page, using 'client' for someone who is effectively a customer fills me with rage. It makes them sound like some top celebrity lawyer or agent. It's used by a few folk I know who are self-employed. Fucking goons. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Koop Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 People are getting pissed off with the same words and phrases. Plenty of synergies. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Koop Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Fans of unalloyed corporate twaddle might want to follow this gentleman on Twitter. https://twitter.com/ashleyhi 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 That Ann Radge or whatever the fcuk her name is, on the Levein-Neilson changes at Hearts: "He will be responsible for putting in place an end-to-end strategy for how we are going to implement a youth-driven playing policy within the club. "These decisions have been driven by everything that has been said about needing a long-term strategy, built over a three-to-five-year planning horizon. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordon EF Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 That Ann Radge or whatever the fcuk her name is, on the Levein-Neilson changes at Hearts: Jesus Christ. You run a business woman, we get it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duszek Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 My wife was in a meeting where someone with fallopian tubes for ears suggested "Let's put that in the ideas fridge and snack on it later" I hope that was just someone bored out his tits, despairing at the inanity of it all, making a wise-crack. I'm stealing that line, will use it first chance I get. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 Made me think of this guy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zidane's child Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 Overheard today "just give you a quick helicopter view of what's been going on" Just about spewed in my mouth 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zetterlund Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 He will be responsible for putting in place an end-to-end strategy for how we are going to implement a youth-driven playing policy within the club. "These decisions have been driven by everything that has been said about needing a long-term strategy, built over a three-to-five-year planning horizon. Planning horizon It's amazing that apparently intelligent, sensible people don't hear these things and think, well that just sounds f**king ridiculous. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cille Mhernaig Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 If we are applying changes to the live systems over the weekend there is a scheduling meeting late Friday morning just to confirm everything is good to go. As I'm on call this weekend I attended for the first time in a few weeks to find that rather than confirm start time and all resources are in place, the meeting now involves us confirming that our 'Pre flight checks' have been completed. My update of 'all pre flight checks are completed and we are ready for takeoff' was surprisingly well received 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 Just told a group of people I would "disseminate the information" to them, rather than simply "send it". I felt like a right pillock. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlukedosser Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 Lets re-energise this conversation at a later date. Jesus what happened to ill give you a bell next week.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dariusz Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 Usage of the word 'exciting' when it comes to anything work related. You have to be fucking kidding me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P.C Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 (edited) just play BS bingo at work with a mate, nothing funnier than doing it and having someone randomally shout bingo during a meeting where you want to stab the speaker in the eye with a pen and ask him to inwardly diguest that Edited May 19, 2014 by P.C 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 (edited) Usage of the word 'exciting' when it comes to anything work related. You have to be fucking kidding me. Our client in the feminine entertainment industry is seeking proactive go-getting candidates for an exciting new opportunity in dildo Quality Assurance in their Greater London Research and Development campus. Interested parties who like to work hard and play hard, please send your CV to Human Resources, Flat 3, 19th Floor, Skagswell Tower, Brixton. Edited May 19, 2014 by banana 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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