JockysJetpack Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Just a wee bit of fun here but I thought the good people of P&B might have some good suggestions here, if the Premiership was a party or house party, who would each club be? I've got a few ideas to kick things off: Aberdeen- The guy that used to be a massive stud, and keeps telling you about it, no matter how long you say times have changed, then they pull someone at the party and go on about how they've still got it. Fun enough guy though. Celtic- Always pulls, but always pulls the ugliest burds, no-one really seems to like them, but they are too rich to leave out of the guestlist Dundee United- Everyone keeps telling you how cool they are, and to some extent you agree, but you're not entirely sold on it. Hearts- You gave them a fiver at the start of the night, they bought a bottle of white lightening cider and seem to be absolutely wasted, as the night goes on you can tell they are on a bit of a downward spiral but they seem to be loving every minute of it. Constantly laughing at Hibs' blunders.. Hibs- They keep knocking things over and falling over. They have no luck chatting up the ladies. They're a mess, really. You're not sure whether to laugh, or to cry for them though... ICT- The couple. They used to be two well liked individuals but once the marriage took place, although they had a strong bond, they were a bit less popular. They are still liked at the party, but not as fun as they used to be. Kilmarnock- Often at the party complaining about their parents and how they keep making bad decisions on their behalf, have pulled a few times recently nonetheless. Motherwell- They start off the night by pulling some decent looking ladies, and as the night goes on you keep thinking it can't be better for them, yet they continually move on to better looking girls everytime much to everyone's amazement Partick Thistle- Came from a family with two thuggish big brothers that no-one likes. Have successfully managed to free themselves from this image and although neither a wild shagger nor a party animal, they are well liked at the party and pretty much everyone likes to see them there. Ross County- Were absolutely wrecked last night and on top form. Tonight started pretty brutal for them, they were not on good form at all before someone gave them a proplus, a red bull and a bottle of Jack Daniels Honey and they managed to get back on form right towards the end of the party and finished it strongly. St. Johnstone- The Virgin....well not anymore. Finally lost his V-Plates tonight and boy did they enjoy it, everyone else at the party can sense we might be hearing about this for a while. Harmless fun with him though and is another enjoyable presence at the party. St. Mirren- Always seems to be there, in the corner of the party on their phone. Pretty boring and nobody is really sure why they keep getting invited, but they seem to do something right. Another with decent luck with the opposite sex. Dundee- Keep popping in and out of the party but are not always invited and aren't there long enough to really make an impact on preceedings. You also gave them a fiver 10 years ago you're still waiting for back. Rangers- Used to be regular party-goers until one night, they took everyone's booze money, splashed out on a massive bottle of Vodka drank it all themselves and spewed all over themselves. They were promptly thrown out, some people wanted them to be invited the next night and thought the parties wouldn't be as good without them. However, they seem to have gotten much better. Have struggled in recent times to pull the easiest of 'burds'. Gretna- Showed up last week with 5 strippers before getting wrecked, passing out in the bathtub as the strippers demanded to be paid in full. Woke up the next day in a field with shit down their trousers and haven't been seen or heard from since... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quitongo's Left Peg Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Kilmarnock- Often at the party complaining about their parents and how they keep making bad decisions on their behalf, have pulled a few times recently nonetheless. Spot on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rustyarabnuts Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Cracking post, in stitches reading that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quitongo's Left Peg Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Hamilton - Constantly being picked on by others at the party for being far too thin, yet he's always impeccably dressed and is usually far more stylish than others. People seem to prefer talking to others nearby him, ignoring him in the process, yet he has the last laugh when he sells a few tablets for well over their street value to an English guy nobody really likes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobBairn1876 Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RussellAnderson Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Airdrie - always wanted to be at the party but the host says no underagers. Finally gets a fake ID but gets caught and gets a criminal record. No party for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smeato Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 St. Mirren- Always seems to be there, in the corner of the party on their phone. Pretty boring and nobody is really sure why they keep getting invited, but they seem to do something right. Another with decent luck with the opposite sex. Haha, I'll accept that I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyle Lanley Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Hearts- You gave them a fiver at the start of the night, they bought a bottle of white lightening cider and seem to be absolutely wasted, as the night goes on you can tell they are on a bit of a downward spiral but they seem to be loving every minute of it. Constantly laughing at Hibs' blunders.. Hibs- They keep knocking things over and falling over. They have no luck chatting up the ladies. They're a mess, really. You're not sure whether to laugh, or to cry for them though... :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geedub-MFC Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Motherwell is exactly how I thought it would be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Outstanding Maybe Dundee will be a good addition to this party afterall. Edit: perfect description of the now World Famous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForzaDundee Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Dundee are the party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Dundee are the party. Dundee are soon to replace Hibs as the entertainment, not the party Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bishop Briggs Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 "Gretna- Showed up last week with 5 strippers before getting wrecked, passing out in the bathtub as the strippers demanded to be paid in full. Woke up the next day in a field with shit down their trousers and haven't been seen or heard from since..." Actually, Gretna cleaned themselves up, put on a new suit and showed up again in 2008. They have been spotted creeping quietly around the borders, Edinburgh and (more recently) salubrious places like East Kilbride hoping that no one has noticed them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thumper Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Missed a trick with the Sevco one I reckon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andershen Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Excellent read JJ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattBairn Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobBairn1876 Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Dunfermline - thrown out of a party a few nights back for being a miserable drunken wreck and haven't recovered. Rumour has it they've since developed a heroin addiction were recently beaten up by their mentally challenged little cousin at a slighty less wild party just around the corner and were refused entry as a result.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Im_Rodger Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Love this apart from the fact Accies weren't included! But I see they've already got a description so I'm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForzaDundee Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Love this apart from the fact Accies weren't included! But I see they've already got a description so I'm After the party had finished Hibs and Hamilton decided they hadn't had enough so decided to have an after-party. Unfortunately this after-party also went into extra-time and the Hibees couldn't keep up and ended up humiliating themselves. As a result they will not be invited to the next party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RussellAnderson Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Hearts bought loads of pills off a mental Russian dealer and has a terrific time! However apparently he was only lending him the pills and Hearts have scoffed the lot. Hearts take a good hiding and end up turfed out on the front lawn, only to find Hibernian lying face down in a pile of his own vomit next to him. He's bought cut price vodka from the bloke in the pub and turns out he's been drinking meths all night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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