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How Fuckin Shite Is Edinburgh Airport


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Anyone been to Toronto Airport? One thing that struck me was iPads scattered everywhere round all the food and drink places ... there must have been thousands of them in the airport. You can order your drink through them and it's quite nifty. Unfortunately, when you wanted to use it to access the web, it was as slow as a week in the jail (the wi-fi was much better). 
My flight was mega-delayed, so I amused myself on the slot machines on the iPad. You didn't enter money - you got credits, and when you ran out of credits (every couple of minutes), you could get more by watching an advert. I must have played it for about 2 hours and watched the same fecking car advert a hundred times and won enough credits to win a bottle of water. Pressed the "CLAIM" button, and it suddenly hit me up with mental arithmetic question... if you got it wrong, you got hee-haw. Despite it being 2am and half-cut, I nailed it. Then I hit the CLAIM button again, and it hit me with the "Sorry, there's been an error". 
Fucking raging. 

Go to one of those claim sites online for delayed flights. Other sad gits are doing it lol.
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  • 4 months later...
On 5/20/2015 at 06:29, JamieT1314 said:

CDG in Paris is the worst airport ive experienced. Hated every second of it.

I just got back from my adventures in Europe and I have to agree.  Was flying Air France so departed from Terminal 2E and holy disorganized shitemare batman that place is an absolute mess.  It took over 2 hours from the time we got to the terminal to the time we cleared security, most of that waiting in the exit customs line that is a ginormous bottleneck.  They need either 3x the number of exit customs booths or to split the customs up by boarding hall as it's a complete mess.  We had arrived 4 hours before our flight so had plenty of time but there were other people in the exit customs line who were missing their flights.  Also the check-in/baggage drop area is too narrow so there were all sorts of disorganized lines everywhere and people didn't know where they needed to be.  

Oh and once you clear security there are very few bars!  After 2 hours and 15 minutes of queuing I needed a beer and took me a while to find a bar in Hall L!  At Montreal airport there is a bar every 100 yards but CDG 2E hall L has essentially 1 bar and tons of shopping (which I couldn't be bothered with). 

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9 minutes ago, Johnny Däpp said:

2E is an absolute shambles even when it's quiet!

One thing that irks me is that it doesn't have to be that way!  It wouldn't even require a dramatic redesign to sort out the exit customs clusterfuck, but I guess that would require the French border police to care about humans

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5 hours ago, senorsoupe said:

I just got back from my adventures in Europe and I have to agree.  Was flying Air France so departed from Terminal 2E and holy disorganized shitemare batman that place is an absolute mess.  It took over 2 hours from the time we got to the terminal to the time we cleared security, most of that waiting in the exit customs line that is a ginormous bottleneck.  They need either 3x the number of exit customs booths or to split the customs up by boarding hall as it's a complete mess.  We had arrived 4 hours before our flight so had plenty of time but there were other people in the exit customs line who were missing their flights.  Also the check-in/baggage drop area is too narrow so there were all sorts of disorganized lines everywhere and people didn't know where they needed to be.  

Oh and once you clear security there are very few bars!  After 2 hours and 15 minutes of queuing I needed a beer and took me a while to find a bar in Hall L!  At Montreal airport there is a bar every 100 yards but CDG 2E hall L has essentially 1 bar and tons of shopping (which I couldn't be bothered with). 

CDG is generally just about fine (if a little dated), but 2E is an absolute wasteland.  That said, there is a wee cafe in the middle of the departure gates that sells beer (although you wouldn't know it) and you can go and take it to your seat while you watch the planes.  Which, as far as I'm concerned, is all you want at a departure gate if you can't go to a proper bar.  The problem is there's absolutely nothing pre immigration either.  

As a rule, I always go hours before I'm due to.  Would far rather sit in a bar for three hours than run through immigration.  CDG 2E is the single exception to that rule.  

PS The WH Smiths before immigration also sells beer, and of that I thoroughly approve.

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On 13/06/2017 at 18:23, paul-r-cfc said:

Of those, Manchester must be included because of the difficulty of changing between terminals.  Domestic to International at Manchester is one of the least enjoyable mazes I've ever been in. 

Dubai's a fantastic airport so long as you aren't changing terminals, in which case it's a drag.

Dammam Airport in Saudi Airport is comfortably the worst airport I've ever been to.  

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35 minutes ago, Savage Henry said:

Of those, Manchester must be included because of the difficulty of changing between terminals.  Domestic to International at Manchester is one of the least enjoyable mazes I've ever been in. 

Dubai's a fantastic airport so long as you aren't changing terminals, in which case it's a drag.

Dammam Airport in Saudi Airport is comfortably the worst airport I've ever been to.  

Dubai is a shopping complex with a poorly-functioning airport built around it and King Fahd International Airport in Saudi is staffed by people who don't want to be here with passengers who don't want to be there either.  Both are poor.

Murtala Muhammed International Airport in Lagos is as chaotic as a souk and a thoroughly unpleasant place.

Edinburgh is certainly not the 5th worst airport in the world.

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I was flying to Bordeaux recently, and had to use Edinburgh for the first time in a few years. Security was a farce. Queued right back because there's only 5 or 6 channels. Total joke.

 

That said, Bordeaux was worse.

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Just been through Berlin Schonefeld for the first time. It's like a wee corridor you're shoved into while waiting for yer gate to be announced, then you're put into an even smaller corridor while waiting on your plane to arrive.

Best I've been to was Barcelona by far, good restaurants, pubs and shops

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I can't find the full survey results anywhere, but from my personal experiences there is absolutely no way Manchester and Stanstead should rank below Dalaman.


Sitting in a bar at Stansted as I type. The snake layout of departures is shambles, but it's far from the worst five airports I've been to. Not sure it'd even make the worst five airports in the U.K. I've been to.
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Luton was fine the other day. Took about 10 minutes through security but it was a free for all at check in.

Flying out from Kyiv Zhulyany to Gdansk and then Gdansk to Glasgow in a few days. 

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37 minutes ago, Johnny Däpp said:

Hilton Doubletree? If so, it is well smart in there now after the refurb! We're on a 0600 flight next Friday from Edinburgh and looked to stay nearby, £100 odd quid, f**k that! 0400h taxi it is then :unsure:

London Aloft Excel.

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