Julie the A9 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 To reconcile respect with practicality, what is the optimum speed for a hearse? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WFAANW Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Stick some rocket boosters on the b*****d. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I forget the equation for maximum velocity but it will go at a hoor of a rate as it plummets off a cliff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie the A9 Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 I forget the equation for maximum velocity but it will go at a hoor of a rate as it plummets off a cliff. As would any motorised vehicle Zen. Predict the question presented and stop being a smug c**t eh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Who are you and why do you want to know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayia Napa Daz Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Julie, I'm looking to rent a hearse as I have a mattress, a 32 inch Phillips TV and parts of an old book shelf to take to the tip. Doubt it'll fit in my hatchback and I think renting a hearse will be cheaper than renting a van. Please be in touch, Darren xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie the A9 Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 Julie, I'm looking to rent a hearse as I have a mattress, a 32 inch Phillips TV and parts of an old book shelf to take to the tip. Doubt it'll fit in my hatchback and I think renting a hearse will be cheaper than renting a van. Please be in touch, Darren xx I don't own a hearse you daftie. I own a Kia Ceed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayia Napa Daz Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I don't own a hearse you daftie. I own a Kia Ceed. Why did you buy a Kia Ceed when you can buy a Vauxhall Corsa for the same amount? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WFAANW Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I don't own a hearse you daftie. I own a Kia Ceed. Good luck squeezing a coffin into that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Jules and AND are taking to himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Jules and AND are taking to himself. What, you mean...*points upwards*...Himself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Other Foot Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I drove a hearse for a few years. I would tend to go at just under 25, but then bring it down to a steady 10 or 12 when we got close to the crem/cemetery. You'd get the odd w*nkstain driving past, hooting the horn: usually Celtic-shirted Gracemount drivers overtaking at Mortonhall. To be honest, the slow driving thing is a load of sh*te, and most families I think would prefer just to get into the crem and then slow down a bit. But tradition, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CityDave Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 HTH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estragon Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Terrific handling on the Kia Ceed. First choice for Warsaw's finest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie the A9 Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 Good luck squeezing a coffin into that. The only coffin' that goes on in the Ceed, comes for the regurgitation of phlegm, mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WFAANW Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 The only coffin' that goes on in the Ceed, comes for the regurgitation of phlegm, mate. u wot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roland B Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 My uncle once drove a hearse to help out a friend. The tradition in the small fishing villages on the Moray coast is after the church service the whole funeral party walks slowly behind the hearse for a few minutes, before proceeding to the cemetery/ oven. The undertaker ( not the wrestler) walks solemnly infront of the car, on this occasion, my uncle, wary of the appointment time at the crematorium started off at around 12 miles per hour, only for the undertaker to knock furiously on the hearse to tell him to slow down- oh how we laughed! And subsequently continue to laugh as this sad tale is rolled out as an amusing anecdote at every family gathering. It's a shame we missed the crematorium time and the unfortunate had to be stored in a cupboard over the weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMFC Mitchy Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 My uncle once drove a hearse to help out a friend. The tradition in the small fishing villages on the Moray coast is after the church service the whole funeral party walks slowly behind the hearse for a few minutes, before proceeding to the cemetery/ oven. The undertaker ( not the wrestler) walks solemnly infront of the car, on this occasion, my uncle, wary of the appointment time at the crematorium started off at around 12 miles per hour, only for the undertaker to knock furiously on the hearse to tell him to slow down- oh how we laughed! And subsequently continue to laugh as this sad tale is rolled out as an amusing anecdote at every family gathering. It's a shame we missed the crematorium time and the unfortunate had to be stored in a cupboard over the weekend. Pish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pars fan Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I think you need sugar, Roland. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 It's a shame we missed the crematorium time and the unfortunate had to be stored in a cupboard over the weekend. Just the weekend? Some folk request that treatment for almost 200 years. Seems to have caught on as a storage method, at a pinch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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