Grim O'Grady Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 Tbf he has a point, Grimbo and Sergeant Wilson etc have completely ruined General Nonsense for the most part. Smite me but leave the good Sergeant out of it. You are not fit to polish his helmet. Grimbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 kenw.jpg You got me before the edit. I hang my head in shame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 You got me before the edit. I hang my head in shame. I cheated, but I'm still taking the credit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaviliunas Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 Reminiscing about a football forum is tragic stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 Reminiscing about a football forum is tragic stuff Didn't think it was possible to get misty eyed and nostalgic about a shitting thread. All this modern shitting - back in the day we had proper shites. With real tunes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 I had to call in a near miss at my work one night. Phoned them up and started conveying the details when the washing machine stomach started. I knew that I had mere seconds to reach a toilet or else I'd be emailing the gaffer to explain that I'd shat on my work chair and that on call would need to cover until I'd had a shower and changed the bottom half of my attire. Hung up on the boy without explanation and made it to the toilet just in time. Did one of those relieving skittery shites that splatter ungracefully out of your arse, wiped up and phoned the boy back when I got to my office. When he asked why I'd hung up initially, I told him (laughing) that I'd had a near miss of my own, obviously meaning that I'd nearly shat my drawers. He didn't pick that up, took me literally and asked if I'd be reporting two near misses on the call. Aye pal. First near miss was some c**t nearly electrocuting themselves on the high voltage and the second near miss was that I nearly skittered ma chinos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 A couple of year back, I got the 16 bus as per on my way hame from the post match drinks & got off at Javitts, ordered a pizza for me then went over to the Good Choice for a starter box for the missus. Whilst waiting for the suppers I started to feel the stomach grumbling "shit time, shit time", it seemed to take forever for the food to come. Anyway I'm counting backwards from 1000 trying to take away the shit urge as I walk/skip to the house. I finally get to within sight of the house touching cloth & I can see the side of the house & the bathroom light is on, shitting Christ someone is in the toilet. Now do I run up the stairs, dump the suppers & scream "I need the toilet" hoping the recipient will evacuate for me? Beads of sweat on my temples, nah I drop the suppers on the doorstep & I'm legging it into the backgarden whilst undoing my jeans. Crouched down in the moonlight & do a steamer on the grass. No paper so I hitch up me undies & jeans to not quite the usual height & saunters up to the house, drops off the suppers to her & then goes for a quick shower telling her that it was an awfy close call. But not mentioning the curly wurly I'd left in the garden. Supper had then off to bed. Sunday, she's hanging the washing out, next thing she's walking in holding her shoe, telling me some dirty c**t's dug must have shat in our back garden & she stood in it whilst hanging out the washing. I've not laughed so hard in such a long time. I never told her it wasn't dog shit. Grimbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 I had no idea sergeant wilson was old - i pretty much picture everyone on here to be in their 20's and 30's apart from Mozza and Granny danger who i imagine to both have grey hair and wear tartan trousers. Its strange how images go into ones head. When travelling east Asia, Thailand i think it was I was in the shower and my gf had a sudden bowel movement and couldn't wait any longer and had to relieve herself in the toilet whilst i was showering with only the shower cover between us. I was absolutely horrified, thank god it wasn't a glass door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 I had no idea sergeant wilson was old - i pretty much picture everyone on here to be in their 20's and 30's apart from Mozza and Granny danger who i imagine to both have grey hair and wear tartan trousers. Its strange how images go into ones head. When travelling east Asia, Thailand i think it was I was in the shower and my gf had a sudden bowel movement and couldn't wait any longer and had to relieve herself in the toilet whilst i was showering with only the shower cover between us. I was absolutely horrified, thank god it wasn't a glass door. Throb, are you, erm how can I put this? Are you quite well to do? Grimbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 No idea what you're on about Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 No idea what you're on about I'm not having a dig or owt Throb, it's just that sometimes you come across as a bit closeted like? How can I put this? Are you an only child? Grimbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 I'm not having a dig or owt Throb, it's just that sometimes you come across as a bit closeted like? How can I put this? Are you an only child? Grimbo Closeted as in gay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty79 Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 A couple of year back, I got the 16 bus as per on my way hane from the post match drinks & got off at Javitts, ordered a pizza for me then went over to the Good Choice for a starter box for the missus. Whilst waiting for the suppers I started to feel the stomach grumbling "shit time, shit time", it seemed to take forever for the food to be come. Anyway I'm counting backwards from 1000 trying to take away the shit urge as I walk/skip to the house. I finally get to within sight of the house touching cloth & I can see the side of the house & the bathroom light is on, shitting Christ someone is in the toilet. Now do I run up the stairs, dump the suppers & scream "I need the toilet" hoping the recipient will evacuate for me? Beads of sweat on my temples, nah I drop the suppers on the doorstep & I'm legging it into the backgarden whilst undoing my jeans. Crouched down in the moonlight & do a steamer on the grass. No paper so I hitch up me undies & jeans to not quite the usual height & saunters up to the house, drops off the suppers to her & then goes for a quick shower telling her that it was an awfy close call. But not mentioning the curly wurly I'd left in the garden. Supper had then off to bed. Sunday, she's hanging the washing out, next thing she's waking in holding her shoe, telling me some dirty c**t's dug must have shat in our back garden & she stood in it whilst hanging out the washing. I've not laughed so hard in such a long time. I never told her it wasn't dog shit. Grimbo [emoji23] actual tears streaming down my face at this, at work and hope no one comes in and wonders what the f**k is goin on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Closeted as in gay? No no no, as in kept out of harms way a lot. Grimbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Throbber keeps picturing what other posters look like. If I were to guess, I reckon Throbber looks like Mark Fowler from Eastenders, with possibly a little less AIDS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DDcups Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 I had no idea sergeant wilson was old - i pretty much picture everyone on here to be in their 20's and 30's apart from Mozza and Granny danger who i imagine to both have grey hair and wear tartan trousers. Its strange how images go into ones head. When travelling east Asia, Thailand i think it was I was in the shower and my gf had a sudden bowel movement and couldn't wait any longer and had to relieve herself in the toilet whilst i was showering with only the shower cover between us. I was absolutely horrified, thank god it wasn't a glass door. Did you have a peek at her having a shit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 No I didn't look I was horrified! Was a turning point in our relationship though! Skidmarks I don't look like him really but fit the average sized white male with brown hair demographic. I would say I was more handsome than you would expect from someone who uses a football forum to discuss masturbation. I said I pictured you as skin headed with a "I could batter you if you get too cheeky" sort of attitude and was told I was spot on the mark. Mozza I'm not sure why I thought that of you but can't get the idea out of my head of you being quite old and eccentric , think it was the ejaculating steam comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 I had no idea sergeant wilson was old - i pretty much picture everyone on here to be in their 20's and 30's apart from Mozza and Granny danger who i imagine to both have grey hair and wear tartan trousers. Its strange how images go into ones head. When travelling east Asia, Thailand i think it was I was in the shower and my gf had a sudden bowel movement and couldn't wait any longer and had to relieve herself in the toilet whilst i was showering with only the shower cover between us. I was absolutely horrified, thank god it wasn't a glass door. An ex of mine had something dodgy to eat at Glastonbury one year. Thankfully the eartha kits held off till we were home but I still have nightmares about the gurgling splatter noises that came from the toilet when we got home. Stunk the house out the manky cow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 A couple of year back, I got the 16 bus as per on my way hame from the post match drinks & got off at Javitts, ordered a pizza for me then went over to the Good Choice for a starter box for the missus. Whilst waiting for the suppers I started to feel the stomach grumbling "shit time, shit time", it seemed to take forever for the food to come. Anyway I'm counting backwards from 1000 trying to take away the shit urge as I walk/skip to the house. I finally get to within sight of the house touching cloth & I can see the side of the house & the bathroom light is on, shitting Christ someone is in the toilet. Now do I run up the stairs, dump the suppers & scream "I need the toilet" hoping the recipient will evacuate for me? Beads of sweat on my temples, nah I drop the suppers on the doorstep & I'm legging it into the backgarden whilst undoing my jeans. Crouched down in the moonlight & do a steamer on the grass. No paper so I hitch up me undies & jeans to not quite the usual height & saunters up to the house, drops off the suppers to her & then goes for a quick shower telling her that it was an awfy close call. But not mentioning the curly wurly I'd left in the garden. Supper had then off to bed. Sunday, she's hanging the washing out, next thing she's walking in holding her shoe, telling me some dirty c**t's dug must have shat in our back garden & she stood in it whilst hanging out the washing. I've not laughed so hard in such a long time. I never told her it wasn't dog shit. Grimbo I'm curious, is this some sort of sex toy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.