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2016 Scottish Cup Final - Hibernian FC v Rangers


Bambino7

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I actually want Rangers to win it and before you judge me here's why:

 

I hate the Bigot Brothers equally, hate in the same way that you hate having a lump on your bollock, you just want it to f**k off and never come back.

 

I'm quite ambivolent towards Hibs as a club, I actually quite like them purely because they provide so much comic entertainment over the course of the season, every season. They have actually become so accomplished at failing in hilarious ways, that they have become synonymic with it. Through so many different players and managers they all seem to perfectly capture exactly what is needed to not only f**k up, but to do so in hilarious fashion, with a little bit of hope, a bit of momentum and a miniscule dash of success, before it is all rippedaway in the most humiliating way possible, for me, as a neutral, this is pant-shittingly funny.

 

Even if you just look at the last 5 years they have managed to:

 

- Be completely dominated by their bitter rivals in almost every single derby game. (taking the 2010/11 season as a starting point it stands at Games played:22, Hearts wins:12, Hibs wins:5, Draws:5).

 

- Get to the Scottish Cup final, against Hearts, who go on and on about the incredible amount of time that has elapsed since they last won it, with a chance to finally but that to rest and really get one over them once and for all, they get absolutely slutshamed 5-1 with Hearts legend Rudi Skacel utterly bossing it.

 

- Get to the Scottish Cup final again the very next year only to pull a complete no-show and suffer a humbling 3-0 defeat.

 

- Spend an entire season laughing at Hearts for almost going bust/getting relegated, only to get relegated themselves after completely collapsing, during which they picked up 8 points after their derby win against Hearts, suffering 12 losses in their final 18 games, consigning them to a relegation playoff against Hamilton during which they picked up a comfortable 2-0 away from home, only to lose an early goal to Jason fucking Scotland, then at the exact point they start singing about staying up conceding last minute goal to make it 2-2 on aggregate, failing to score in extra-time and losing the subsequent penalty shootout, leading to an insane level of booing as well as a laughable protest after the match.

 

- Spending their first season in the Championship getting dominated by Hearts (again), however keeping themselves good enough to get into the semi-final of the playoffs, where the lost to an utterly inept, Stuart McCall led Rangers side.

 

- Spending their second season in the Championship getting dominated by Rangers, suddenly hitting utterly pathetic form and currently looking set to finish behind Falkirk to as well as an embarrassing playoff exit to Raith Rovers.

 

It has taken over a century of ineptitude to get to this point, Rangers will win plenty of Scottish Cups over the coming decades, I don't think it's worth sacrificing such a glorious legacy just so they don't win this one. 

 

Edit - To add context, the cup final falls 3 days before the million hour countdown is set to end, yet again Hibs find themselves up to redeem themselves once and for all in the Scottish Cup final, it is almost set up too perfectly for them to utterly and royally "hibs" it.

Edited by TheMessiah
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I actually want Rangers to win it and before you judge me here's why:

I hate the Bigot Brothers equally, hate in the same way that you hate having a lump on your bollock, you just want it to f**k off and never come back.

I'm quite ambivolent towards Hibs as a club, I actually quite like them purely because they provide so much comic entertainment over the course of the season, every season. They have actually become so accomplished at failing in hilarious ways, that they have become synonymic with it. Through so many different players and managers they all seem to perfectly capture exactly what is needed to not only f**k up, but to do so in hilarious fashion, with a little bit of hope, a bit of momentum and a miniscule dash of success, before it is all rippedaway in the most humiliating way possible, for me, as a neutral, this is pant-shittingly funny.

Even if you just look at the last 5 years they have managed to:

- Be completely dominated by their bitter rivals in almost every single derby game. (taking the 2010/11 season as a starting point it stands at Games played:22, Hearts wins:12, Hibs wins:5, Draws:5).

- Get to the Scottish Cup final, against Hearts, who go on and on about the incredible amount of time that has elapsed since they last won it, with a chance to finally but that to rest and really get one over them once and for all, they get absolutely slutshamed 5-1 with Hearts legend Rudi Skacel utterly bossing it.

- Get to the Scottish Cup final again the very next year only to pull a complete no-show and suffer a humbling 3-0 defeat.

- Spend an entire season laughing at Hearts for almost going bust/getting relegated, only to get relegated themselves after completely collapsing, during which they picked up 8 points after their derby win against Hearts, suffering 12 losses in their final 18 games, consigning them to a relegation playoff against Hamilton during which they picked up a comfortable 2-0 away from home, only to lose an early goal to Jason fucking Scotland, then at the exact point they start singing about staying up conceding last minute goal to make it 2-2 on aggregate, failing to score in extra-time and losing the subsequent penalty shootout, leading to an insane level of booing as well as a laughable protest after the match.

- Spending their first season in the Championship getting dominated by Hearts (again), however keeping themselves good enough to get into the semi-final of the playoffs, where the lost to an utterly inept, Stuart McCall led Rangers side.

- Spending their second season in the Championship getting dominated by Rangers, suddenly hitting utterly pathetic form and currently looking set to finish behind Falkirk to as well as an embarrassing playoff exit to Raith Rovers.

It has taken over a century of ineptitude to get to this point, Rangers will win plenty of Scottish Cups over the coming decades, I don't think it's worth sacrificing such a glorious legacy just so they don't win this one.

Edit - To add context, the cup final falls 3 days before the million hour countdown is set to end, yet again Hibs find themselves up to redeem themselves once and for all in the Scottish Cup final, it is almost set up too perfectly for them to utterly and royally "hibs" it.

Pure and utter hatred of all things Hibs. Pleasing.

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Couple of things; Hearts did not 'almost' go bust and slut-shamed, while admittedly brilliant and a perfect descriptor, I think really should be hyphenated.

Also this game is a bit of a litmus test for jambos, I know hibs are great comedy value but there really is no excuse for wanting THEM to win anything when ur own team doesn't stand to gain from it. Epic fail, true colours, bus fare missing etc.

Edited by williemillersmoustache
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Couple of things; Hearts did not 'almost' go bust and slut-shamed, while admittedly brilliant and a perfect descriptor, I think really should be hyphenated.Also this game is a bit of a litmus test for jambos, I know hibs are great comedy value but there really is no excuse for wanting THEM to win anything when you're own team doesn't stand to gain from it. Epic fail, true colours, bus fare missing etc.
Couple of things; Hearts did not 'almost' go bust and slut-shamed, while admittedly brilliant and a perfect descriptor, I think really should be hyphenated.Also this game is a bit of a litmus test for jambos, I know hibs are great comedy value but there really is no excuse for wanting THEM to win anything when you're own team doesn't stand to gain from it. Epic fail, true colours, bus fare missing etc.
Couple of things; Hearts did not 'almost' go bust and slut-shamed, while admittedly brilliant and a perfect descriptor, I think really should be hyphenated.Also this game is a bit of a litmus test for jambos, I know hibs are great comedy value but there really is no excuse for wanting THEM to win anything when you're own team doesn't stand to gain from it. Epic fail, true colours, bus fare missing etc.
Any Hearts fan who wants Hibs to win a trophy is not a PHM.
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Couple of things; Hearts did not 'almost' go bust and slut-shamed, while admittedly brilliant and a perfect descriptor, I think really should be hyphenated.

Also this game is a bit of a litmus test for jambos, I know hibs are great comedy value but there really is no excuse for wanting THEM to win anything when you're own team doesn't stand to gain from it. Epic fail, true colours, bus fare missing etc.

Your.

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Couple of things; Hearts did not 'almost' go bust and slut-shamed, while admittedly brilliant and a perfect descriptor, I think really should be hyphenated.

Also this game is a bit of a litmus test for jambos, I know hibs are great comedy value but there really is no excuse for wanting THEM to win anything when you're own team doesn't stand to gain from it. Epic fail, true colours, bus fare missing etc.

 

If you're going to correct grammar of made up words at least get the real ones right first.

 

If THEY are going to win something anyway, it might as well give you a laugh in the process.

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Sure, but what a hibsing it would be if THEY lost. There's the real comedy. 

 

That comedy is short term, a Hibs "hibsing" is the original and best, if it was for the league, I'd want Hibs to win, if it was the League Cup I'd want Hibs to win, if it was anyone else playing THEM I'd want them to win as well, it's just the fact that it's Hibs in the Scottish Cup.

 

When was the last time there was an all 2nd tier cup final? In either the SC or the LC?  Apologies if I've missed it.

 

Don't think it's happened as far as I'm aware.

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Managed about half of Messiah's wee essay there but I think we can safely discard the bit about being ambivalent towards Hibs.

"I actually want Rangers to win because I have an absolutely raging stauner for the Hibees" would've saved us all some time.

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It is the worst Rangers team in my lifetime. We have a great chance. The best two players playing on the day will ironically be the Celtic loanees who are head and shoulders above the likes of Law, Halliday, Waghorn etc.

Unless you were born last June then isn't the worst Rangers team of your lifetime.

Remember losing the play-off to the absolute dross we had last year.

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