Death by lethal injection

[Hillonearth]

Probably his wife's iron

 

Not ours, although I do aspire to objets d'art such as this in my home.

 

My missus has always been infinitely more likely to tape a dildo to a mallard's back for a laugh than she is to do any ironing though.

[throbber]

Not ours, although I do aspire to objets d'art such as this in my home.

 

My missus has always been infinitely more likely to tape a dildo to a mallard's back for a laugh than she is to do any ironing though.

 

My girlfriend doesn't appreciate cock humour. 

[throbber]

Not true. She's always laughing at your penis, apparently.

 

Good one Mozza. 

[Grim O'Grady]

How on earth did we get from leather injection to Throbbers penis? Mind boggles.

Grimbo

[Fullerene]

One of the sultans of Central Asia had a particular favourite

Each limb tied to a separate horse

Then red hot chili peppers stuffed up the backside of each horse.

[Hillonearth]

One of the sultans of Central Asia had a particular favourite

Each limb tied to a separate horse

Then red hot chili peppers stuffed up the backside of each horse.

 

Now I know how they go through so many guitar players.

[madwullie]

Pretty sure I read about captured British soldiers in India etc during the empire having their genitals cut off, eyes poked out, tied to a stake in the desert and their amputated cocks and balls shoved in their mouths

In terms of grim moments before the deed, can't imagine digging your own grave to be much fun

[welshbairn]

Pretty sure I read about captured British soldiers in India etc during the empire having their genitals cut off, eyes poked out, tied to a stake in the desert and their amputated cocks and balls shoved in their mouths

 

You hear about that around the world. Saw a very strange film on the rigs years ago with clips of people eaten by lions and the like, and one of that happening to some poor tribal sod who was protesting road building in the Amazon.

[Jacksgranda]

How on earth did we get from leather injection to Throbbers penis? Mind boggles.

Grimbo

 

The mention of dildos has got you all excited...

[Fullerene]

^{I recall a story at school of a Scottish soldier captured by native Indians somewhere in Canada
He was about to be tortured to death.
Before they got started, he said "Hold on a minute, I know a substance that will make my neck impervious to the sharpest axe."
They were curious.
He said "Here let me show you"
He then collected some herbs and berries and crushed them into a paste and smeared them on the back of his neck.
"There, now get your strongest man and your sharpest axe and do your worst"
This they promptly did - with the obvious outcome.}

 

^{Not sure it was really true - but it sounded like a good story}

[Hillonearth]

^{I recall a story at school of a Scottish soldier captured by native Indians somewhere in Canada}

He was about to be tortured to death.

Before they got started, he said "Hold on a minute, I know a substance that will make my neck impervious to the sharpest axe."

They were curious.

He said "Here let me show you"

He then collected some herbs and berries and crushed them into a paste and smeared them on the back of his neck.

"There, now get your strongest man and your sharpest axe and do your worst"

This they promptly did - with the obvious outcome.

 

^{Not sure it was really true - but it sounded like a good story}

 

Same scenario.

 

The tribe grant the Scottish guy a last request. He asks for a loaf of bread, cuts two slices off it, sticks his knob between them and starts interfering with himself.

 

When it's all over, the bemused braves ask the chief

 

"Right, can we scalp this weird b*****d now?"

 

"No. White man come in piece."

[Sergeant Wilson]

^{I recall a story at school of a Scottish soldier captured by native Indians somewhere in Canada}

He was about to be tortured to death.

Before they got started, he said "Hold on a minute, I know a substance that will make my neck impervious to the sharpest axe."

They were curious.

He said "Here let me show you"

He then collected some herbs and berries and crushed them into a paste and smeared them on the back of his neck.

"There, now get your strongest man and your sharpest axe and do your worst"

This they promptly did - with the obvious outcome.

^{Not sure it was really true - but it sounded like a good story}

Did some one meet one of the native Indians down the pub?

[Dr Koop]

I've read loads of accounts over the years of electric chair executions causing folk to burst into flames, or flames to come out of their mouth and nose. Also of lethal injections causing slow, lingering, painful deaths as the mixtures weren't in the right order or concentration. A bizarre practice.

A gross exaggeration. It could feasibly happen but there'd have to be a complete headcase in charge.

Invariably there'll be burning and blistering where the current enters and leaves the body. It will cause bleeding, especially if the victim suffers high blood pressure or has a history of nosebleeds.

Electrodes get burned, especially if they're made by some fucking hick from spares out of Home Depot who has no idea how electricity works.

Lethal injection screws up for many reasons, the most famous being that needles are inserted into the victim's arm away from the heart - ie: point towards the hand.

The drugs suggested by the loony doctor from Oklahoma work but prison staff are not medically trained and there have been incidences of wardens ordering all three drugs into the one syringe, ending up with mush that looks like an ice cream and cream soda float.

Bizarre is correct. I don't know why people support capital punishment. This is not to say I don't understand why people would want to beat the living daylights out of the person who harmed a loved one.

Edited to add: if you are interested in the 'technical' side of how this shit works, talk to a medical technician, a paramedic or nurse practitioner.

[welshbairn]

Sounds like the method chosen is to introduce an extra punishment and make it a bit dramatic and quick for the audience. Otherwise they could just put them to sleep Dignitas style. From Wiki:

 

 

In general, Dignitas uses the following protocol to assist suicides: an oral dose of an antiemetic drug, followed approximately 1 hour later by a lethal overdose of powdered pentobarbital dissolved in a glass of water or fruit juice. If necessary, the drugs can be ingested via a drinking straw. The pentobarbital overdose depresses the central nervous system, causing the person to become drowsy and fall asleep within 5 minutes of drinking it. Anaesthesia progresses to coma as the person's breathing becomes more shallow, followed by respiratory arrest and death, which occurs within 30 minutes of ingesting the pentobarbital.

In a few cases in 2008, Dignitas used breathing helium gas[4] as a suicide method instead of a pentobarbital overdose. This avoids the need for medical supervision and prescription controlled drugs, and is therefore cheaper and more available.

[sjc]

Sounds like the method chosen is to introduce an extra punishment and make it a bit dramatic and quick for the audience. Otherwise they could just put them to sleep Dignitas style. From Wiki:

Could do that with a motor & a hose pipe for half the price!

[throbber]

If you tied someone to a post naked and left them for the midges somewhere in the west coast for a spell that would be a form of Inhumane torture, you would surely pass out with the agony of it all.

[welshbairn]

Could do that with a motor & a hose pipe for half the price!

 

Aye!  Americans are thick. I like the helium technique, ask the victim if he's any last words after he's had the first mouthful. 

 

 

P.S. Come to think of it a few states used to use the gas chamber I think, got unfashionable after the goings on in Germany and Poland in WW2.

 

P.P.S Still have it in 6 states.

[Sergeant Wilson]

Sounds like the method chosen is to introduce an extra punishment and make it a bit dramatic and quick for the audience. Otherwise they could just put them to sleep Dignitas style. From Wiki:

The second way sounds a bit like Belsen.

[sjc]

If you tied someone to a post naked and left them for the midges somewhere in the west coast for a spell that would be a form of Inhumane torture, you would surely pass out with the agony of it all.

I'm sure I read about prisoners in the old colonial prison in Guayana did that to enemies & left the ants to pick them to the bone!

[throbber]

I'm sure I read about prisoners in the old colonial prison in Guayana did that to enemies & left the ants to pick them to the bone![/quote

I'm pretty sure midges would be able to strip a human to the bone if it was a particularly good day ie mid August with mild weather and no breeze. I can't think of anything that would be more unpleasant!