Cheese. Breaded Cheese. Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 1. Take your age 2. Divide this figure by the number of litres in your car's engine ( divide by 1.0 if you don't drive). 3. Multiply this figure by the waist measurement you require in a standard pair of jeans. This gives your Gross coolness figure. Next we move onto afflictions. Multiply your gross figure by figure in brackets if you have the following: Type 2 Diabetes ( x 2 ) Type 1 Diabetes ( x 5) Prosthetic limb ( x 8 ) Overdrawn bank A/C ( x 3 ) Honda Jazz ( x 4 ) Cleft palate ( x 20 ) Ginger hair ( x 5 ) Downs ( x 12 ) OCD ( x 10 Bi-polar ( x 4) Depressed ( x 3 ) This gives your own personal Net coolness rating. Cool Zones 0-400 The freezer 401-650 The fridge 651-750 The washing machine 751-900 The toaster 901-1200 The Grill 1201- 20,000 The fucking oven, mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 Is this an extract from the LAD Bible, or Supras' personal diary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 Pished meself at the OCD. Grimbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweeperDee Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 Gross = 660Personal Net = 2640 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 10 minutes ago, Grim O'Grady said: Pished meself at the OCD. Grimbo Incontinence (x 15) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tongue_tied_danny Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 Too cool for arithmetic... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheese. Breaded Cheese. Posted September 25, 2016 Author Share Posted September 25, 2016 old c***s with Corsa's and 40 inch jeans avoiding the test. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionel hutz Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 Age 17 Jeans size - 28inch Don't Drive - 1.0 Gross =478 None of the extras Net = 478 Which puts me back in the the fridge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UltimateDAFC Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 336 overall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 37 minutes ago, Grim O'Grady said: Pished meself at the OCD. Grimbo No, that's incontinence Pishbo. Now get back to bed or I'll get the nurse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 30 minutes ago, Hillonearth said: Incontinence (x 15) f**k, that's sent me in to the fuckin oven, mate, I'll dry off quicker though. Grimbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 Just now, Grim O'Grady said: f**k, that's sent me in to the fuckin oven, mate, I'll dry off quicker though. Grimbo You and I will be in a blast furnace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 15 minutes ago, UltimateDAFC said: 336 overall That's a fucking huge boilersuit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 Just now, Zen Archer said: That's a fucking huge boilersuit. the missus said she wants a fur coat for christmas, so I bought her a donkey jacket. you don't see donkey jackets these days eh? Grimbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 20 minutes ago, Marr1 said: Age 17 Jeans size - 11 inches Don't Drive - 1.0 Gross = 187 None of the extras Net = 187 Which puts me back in the the superfreeze section of the freezer 11 inch waist? Check yourself into a hospital pal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Watson Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 48,085 Sizzzzzzzzzzzzzling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionel hutz Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 23 minutes ago, Honest_Man#1 said: 11 inch waist? Check yourself into a hospital pal. Aye it must mean 28inch and not 28cm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 Just now, Marr1 said: Aye it must mean 28inch and not 28cm I don't think being an idiot allows you to be cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 4 minutes ago, Marr1 said: Aye it must mean 28inch and not 28cm Don't mean to be a p***k, but can't believe that you didn't know the difference between inches and centimetres by the age of 17. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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