C**** on a Train

[JamesP_81]

Booze is also acceptable for long journeys, less so for short journeys where the person just looks like a hopeless alcoholic who can't go 30-40 minutes without a drink. These people are only one-step removed from piss-stained jakeys.

Depends on the context. If it's a 30-40 min journey into work in the morning then I'd be leaning towards the piss stained jakey scenario. 30-40 min journey heading to a day/night out then I don't see the issue .

[GordonD]

7 hours ago, Cptn Hooch said:

Before I drove we used to get the train to band practice...so I'd have my cymbals and stick bag and the guitarist would have his guitar bag....almost every single time we'd get wee arseholes giving it "Gies a choon" or "gies a shot" or worst of all...."dae ye ken wonderwall?"

Tell them "Okay, but it'll cost you a tenner each!"

[Hillonearth]

1 hour ago, JamesP_81 said:

Depends on the context. If it's a 30-40 min journey into work in the morning then I'd be leaning towards the piss stained jakey scenario. 30-40 min journey heading to a day/night out then I don't see the issue .

On a recent train journey down from Aberdeen, I found a few bottles of beer were an ideal prop to ensure two seats to myself all the way down to Edinburgh…any time we stopped at a station I made a point of looking like I was aggressively on the scoop and nobody came near.

This strategy’s especially essential at Leuchars for St Andrews if you don’t want to end up listening to Lucinda and Phyllida yowling their pish in your ear all the way down to the capital.

Have to agree about bevvying on short journeys though – there’s a guy on my train home most nights we call Can Man, who sparks a tin of Tennent’s the moment he sits down and gets off at Croftfoot which is like 10-12 minutes away.

I kind of like him because he clearly makes the Burnsiders getting off at the stop after him uncomfortable.

[Jason King]

An utter c**t this morning with her mobile but who still had the noise activated for every time you press a letter/number/space/etc whilst typing a text.

Complete cretinous behaviour at 8am.

[coprolite]

An utter c**t this morning with her mobile but who still had the noise activated for every time you press a letter/number/space/etc whilst typing a text.
Complete cretinous behaviour at 8am.

you can minimise the noise by ramming the phone into her rectum.

[Stellaboz]

you can maximise noise by ramming the phone into her rectum.

[Torpar]

10 hours ago, Cptn Hooch said:

Before I drove we used to get the train to band practice...so I'd have my cymbals and stick bag and the guitarist would have his guitar bag....almost every single time we'd get wee arseholes giving it "Gies a choon" or "gies a shot" or worst of all...."dae ye ken wonderwall?"

Sometimes you just gotta Roll with it.... I'll get my coat. I used to get the train into Edinburgh for ice hockey training every Thursday night, peoples reactions varied from just staring at my hockey bag and sticks to jakies telling me "I hink I'd be pretty gid at ice hockey like, I cannae skate though, does that matter?" 

I could fill the thread with tales of c**nts on (subway) trains in Toronto too.

[Dunning1874]

3 hours ago, Hillonearth said:

On a recent train journey down from Aberdeen, I found a few bottles of beer were an ideal prop to ensure two seats to myself all the way down to Edinburgh…any time we stopped at a station I made a point of looking like I was aggressively on the scoop and nobody came near.

Ensuring you get a couple of seats to yourself on busy trains is the main attraction of tonic wine.

[NJ2]

Sometimes you just gotta Roll with it.... I'll get my coat. I used to get the train into Edinburgh for ice hockey training every Thursday night, peoples reactions varied from just staring at my hockey bag and sticks to jakies telling me "I hink I'd be pretty gid at ice hockey like, I cannae skate though, does that matter?" 
I could fill the thread with tales of c**nts on (subway) trains in Toronto too.

Does it matter? Cos I might be gid if it doesn’t...

[Torpar]

1 hour ago, NJ2 said:

Does it matter? Cos I might be gid if it doesn’t...

I'd say it's similar to playing water polo when you can't swim

[NJ2]

I'd say it's similar to playing water polo when you can't swim

Depends on the depth of the pool I guess then. Think you’re making hard work of this hockey lark.

[Am Featha Taigh Nan Clach]

A year or so ago. I got the train from Glasgow to Edinburgh (at about 4.30pm) to see Scotland U21's at Tynecastle. The train was busy so i sat on the floor by the door across from a middled aged buisnessman who sitting on the fold down door chair.

I felt a bit jakey-ish for pulling a can of Stella from my ubiquitous blue newsagents carrier bag and cracking it open. 10 seconds later he delved into his briefcase type bag and pulled out his own can of lager. I reached over and we clinked cans and shared a knowing nod.

[MP_MFC]

On a recent train journey down from Aberdeen, I found a few bottles of beer were an ideal prop to ensure two seats to myself all the way down to Edinburgh…any time we stopped at a station I made a point of looking like I was aggressively on the scoop and nobody came near.
This strategy’s especially essential at Leuchars for St Andrews if you don’t want to end up listening to Lucinda and Phyllida yowling their pish in your ear all the way down to the capital.
Have to agree about bevvying on short journeys though – there’s a guy on my train home most nights we call Can Man, who sparks a tin of Tennent’s the moment he sits down and gets off at Croftfoot which is like 10-12 minutes away.
I kind of like him because he clearly makes the Burnsiders getting off at the stop after him uncomfortable.

I'm always stunned at him being on the 7am going into town when he gets off the train with a cargo every night. Some guy.

[Hillonearth]

24 minutes ago, MP_MFC said:

 

I'm always stunned at him being on the 7am going into town when he gets off the train with a cargo every night. Some guy.

 

I know  - these days I'm trashed after two consecutive nights on the piss.

Can Man must have the constitution of a stegosaurus.

[Busta Nut]

On 12/1/2017 at 16:53, Am Featha *****h Nan Clach said:

A year or so ago. I got the train from Glasgow to Edinburgh (at about 4.30pm) to see Scotland U21's at Tynecastle. The train was busy so i sat on the floor by the door across from a middled aged buisnessman who sitting on the fold down door chair.

I felt a bit jakey-ish for pulling a can of Stella from my ubiquitous blue newsagents carrier bag and cracking it open. 10 seconds later he delved into his briefcase type bag and pulled out his own can of lager. I reached over and we clinked cans and shared a knowing nod.

Good old c***s on trains for this pish

[Sergeant Wilson]

On 1/12/2017 at 06:45, Scary Bear said:

 

If you're on a long journey I'd say sandwiches are acceptable.

Booze is also acceptable for long journeys, less so for short journeys where the person just looks like a hopeless alcoholic who can't go 30-40 minutes without a drink. These people are only one-step removed from piss-stained jakeys.

 

Scotch eggs and pork pies are the best train food. Out of Marks or a stall at a market, if there is one.

My record for drink on a short journey if Pollokshaws East to Central. It wasn’t my idea, but, shamefully, I did drink it.

[boulderdomb]

On 12/3/2017 at 08:56, Sergeant Wilson said:

Scotch eggs and pork pies are the best train food. Out of Marks or a stall at a market, if there is one.

My record for drink on a short journey if Pollokshaws East to Central. It wasn’t my idea, but, shamefully, I did drink it.

Never been a fan of pork pies however scotch eggs should be the standard of train food.

[Gaz FFC]

4 of us getting the train to Inverness on Friday night.

It's already been made clear we will be the c***s on the train.

Alcohol and foul language are a minimum.

Can't seeus eating though 

[The Golden God]

What a cuuuuunt

[Gaz FFC]

A new market for Dominos to break into here. Commuter pizza for the on the go lifestyle