LincolnHearts Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 Anyone ever had to go through any job applications when there's a vacancy at your workplace? Outside the usual mental wage expectations and 'I can't work Saturdays (it's retail ffs) I've sifted through, and came across a couple of belters in the process. From a lassie in her early 20's....Do you have any criminal convictions? Yes. Drink driving, criminal damage and assault. Was a one-off incident though and I've never been in trouble with the police since. And a lad im his 30's....List any personal achievements I was on security at Stephen Hawkings funeral. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 Lassie could be a danger-ride. Get her interviewed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 Not specifically, but having always assumed that applying to a company of the size of who I work for there would be a real degree of seriousness and professionalism involved. Then I spemt some time in the office where our gaffers would frequently just shout out a name looking for anyone who knew them (small world). If the shout of "fanny" came back from anyone, the application was binned. Eye opener. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted April 12, 2018 Author Share Posted April 12, 2018 1 minute ago, Bairnardo said: Not specifically, but having always assumed that applying to a company of the size of who I work for there would be a real degree of seriousness and professionalism involved. Then I spemt some time in the office where our gaffers would frequently just shout out a name looking for anyone who knew them (small world). If the shout of "fanny" came back from anyone, the application was binned. Eye opener. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 7 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Not specifically, but having always assumed that applying to a company of the size of who I work for there would be a real degree of seriousness and professionalism involved. Then I spemt some time in the office where our gaffers would frequently just shout out a name looking for anyone who knew them (small world). If the shout of "fanny" came back from anyone, the application was binned. Eye opener. I wish HR at my work was that efficient. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 20 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: I wish HR at my work was that efficient. ^^^fanny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 4 minutes ago, welshbairn said: ^^^fanny ^^^^security at Hawking’s funeral. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 3 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: ^^^^security at Hawking’s funeral. ^^^danger ride. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 16 minutes ago, welshbairn said: ^^^danger ride. Cheeky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted April 12, 2018 Share Posted April 12, 2018 Give it to the nicest looking lassie with the biggest chebs. That is a universal truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted April 12, 2018 Author Share Posted April 12, 2018 13 minutes ago, Cerberus said: Give it to the nicest looking lassie with the biggest chebs. That is a universal truth. We've already employed two lassies like that in the last 4 months. Done wonders for business Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The DA Posted April 13, 2018 Share Posted April 13, 2018 8 hours ago, LincolnHearts said: We've already employed two lassies like that in the last 4 months. Done wonders for business Shouldn't 'business' be in quotes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted April 13, 2018 Share Posted April 13, 2018 Top tip from Viz. "Employers. Instantly bin half the CVs you receive for any role you're advertising. That way, you won't employ any unlucky people." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted April 13, 2018 Share Posted April 13, 2018 11 hours ago, LincolnHearts said: Anyone ever had to go through any job applications when there's a vacancy at your workplace? Outside the usual mental wage expectations and 'I can't work Saturdays (it's retail ffs) I've sifted through, and came across a couple of belters in the process. From a lassie in her early 20's....Do you have any criminal convictions? Yes. Drink driving, criminal damage and assault. Was a one-off incident though and I've never been in trouble with the police since. And a lad im his 30's....List any personal achievements I was on security at Stephen Hawkings funeral. Was once interviewing someone using the company's then favourite 'competency based' interview script. I asked the guy "Can you tell me about a time when you provided excellent customer service?" Now anyone who has been on either side of a competency based interview will tell you that the interviewee can pretty much make up any old crap, which the interviewer has very little chance of verifying. The trick is to make the answer good without being implausible. After about 2 minutes of sighing, shoulder shrugging, shuffling in his seat, looking out the window into the distance for inspiration, puffing of cheeks and general awkward body tics, the guy says "no" I had to conduct the rest of the interview while my colleague, who was sitting in to take notes, didn't bother taking any more notes, instead spending the rest of the time keeping his head down and trying to stifle guffaws of laughter. 10 hours ago, Cerberus said: Give it to the nicest looking lassie with the biggest chebs. That is a universal truth. This. At least if said lassie turns out to be crap at the job, she provides some pleasant viewing around the place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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