microdave Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 On Saturday, I witnessed a young guy being preoccupied by his phone walk into a lamppost. My mate and I were still laughing a few minutes later. Has any P&B'er ever walked into something/fallen down a hole in a slapstick manner? Has any P&B'er ever witnessed such a moment? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sick boy Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 no, never. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jdog Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 Well once I was....OWWWWWW... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 I once tried to jump the row of seats in front of us as Dumbarton had scored to take the lead, my right foot caught the top of the seat in front and I went head first into the metal railing at the front of the pitch. I've always wished I'd been able to watch me doing that from another vantage point, it must have been fantastic viewing. Seeing it from my perspective was not fantastic viewing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 4 minutes ago, The Moonster said: I once tried to jump the row of seats in front of us as Dumbarton had scored to take the lead, my right foot caught the top of the seat in front and I went head first into the metal railing at the front of the pitch. I've always wished I'd been able to watch me doing that from another vantage point, it must have been fantastic viewing. Seeing it from my perspective was not fantastic viewing. My mate did almost the exact same thing when we got pished and went to a Sparta Prague game during my stag do. It was fantastic viewing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 microdave is some name tbf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Nooka Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 About 20 years ago a young me and a few mates were walking round to the local offies for a carry out and the streetlights were out. Unbeknownst to me there was a good reason for this as I disappeared into a huge hole which I assume was the cause of the blackout. The locals had kindly thrown the surrounding barriers into the hole thus creating the world's largest Rambo trap. No serious injuries but I did give my face a fair whack and my ego was repeatedly bashed as my mates howled with laughter as they recounted the incident to all and sundry, "one minute he was there then he just vanished" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 A poster on here once tried to kick a plastic bottle, missed, and went full pelt in to a wooden door, knocking himself out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 Guy I used to work with used to wear jeans with three inch turn-ups at the bottom - no idea why. Anyway, one day he stood on one of them as he got up from his desk and stumbled in my direction. I wasn't having any of it and moved my chair closer to my desk (thanks, castors) and he continued to stumble past me. He's have been as well just falling down, because it developed into what possibly was the longest stumble in human history - he ended up going clean across the open-plan into another section. To add insult to injury, the act of standing on his turn-up had pulled his trousers down a bit, and by the time he came to a halt they were down at mid-thigh level. You're not walking away from that one with your dignity intact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 I once worked as a labourer in a mill and one of my colleagues stood on a large rake that swung up and broke his nose, Sideshow Bob style. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonsrock Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 On Saturday, I witnessed a young guy being preoccupied by his phone walk into a lamppost. My mate and I were still laughing a few minutes later. Has any P&B'er ever walked into something/fallen down a hole in a slapstick manner? Has any P&B'er ever witnessed such a moment?I was with Microdave when this happened on Saturday, still laughing when I think back to it.I was in a garage with a boy from work.I was going in for a coffee as he was filling the van up, I heard a bang and a BMW next to the vans alarm went off.Turned round to see our Davie (not the micro one) pulling himself up, the owner was coming out the garage Davie (not the micro one) had to own up to the owner that he’d slipped off the wee island the pumps are on and stuck the heid on the guys car.The woman in the queue in the garage in front of me saw it all and was still laughing when she drove out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 One of my kids won a family ticket to the Falkirk-Hibs playoff game at TFS a couple of years back - 4 tickets in main stand. My wife didn't want to go, so I took my 3 Falkirk-supporting kids. Towards the end, my daughter was getting tired, so was half standing, half lying across by legs. I was dreading what looked like the game going to extra time, as yes, it was a good game, but I knew my daughter was going to get to the stage of being really cranky as she was so tired, and I knew it would be hard work keeping her there. When McHugh's goal went in to win the game in the last minute, like the rest of the punters in the stand round about me, I rocketed to my feet. After a few seconds celebrating, it then took a further couple of seconds to realise why my 7yo daughter was lying along the row of seats in front, with a "WTF?" look on her face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
microdave Posted November 5, 2018 Author Share Posted November 5, 2018 I once tried to jump the row of seats in front of us as Dumbarton had scored to take the lead, my right foot caught the top of the seat in front and I went head first into the metal railing at the front of the pitch. I've always wished I'd been able to watch me doing that from another vantage point, it must have been fantastic viewing. Seeing it from my perspective was not fantastic viewing.At the Challenge cup final this year, I stumbled as I was heading into the row before the match and ended up falling onto the back of the seats in the row in front. The main problem was that I couldn't reach the floor with my wee arms and had to be hauled up from behind. My day didn't really improve after that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 Gym story 1 In the gym on a busy night, the entire row of treadmills in use. Guy using one goes to get a drink, but for some reason left the treadmill running (maybe to show it was still in use, maybe as he's a cheating bassa getting his distance up without doing the exercise). Anyway, another dude comes out the changing room, totally engrossed in setting up the music on his phone. Dude glances up, sees a free treadmill, heads for it. Unfortunately for him, because he's so engrossed in his phone, he doesn't see the belt moving, so when he steps on, his foot wheechs behind him, he loses his balance , and faceplants onto the treadmill belt. The impact was so loud that I heard it above the music on my headphones. Grazed forehead, grazed elbow, grazed wrist, had to get first aid in front of everyone else in the gym. Gym story 2 Not long before gym was due to close, to one of the instructors was hoovering round. A wid with a hypnotic arse was on a treadmill, guy was so busy perving said hypnotic arse that he tripped over the hoover flex. Stenhousemuir Circuit gym, THE place for comedy in the FK postcode. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonsrock Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 At the Challenge cup final this year, I stumbled as I was heading into the row before the match and ended up falling onto the back of the seats in the row in front. The main problem was that I couldn't reach the floor with my wee arms and had to be hauled up from behind. My day didn't really improve after that!Do you want me to start telling everyone about all the times you’ve gone on your James ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
microdave Posted November 5, 2018 Author Share Posted November 5, 2018 Do you want me to start telling everyone about all the times you’ve gone on your James ?There's been a fair few to be fair! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 My uncle was steaming and he fell head first down a set of concrete stairs, hit his head and died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 Actually, the guy I mentioned earlier was prone to doing daft things - they'd installed a public toilet in the railway station in Johnstone and he'd nipped into it to curl one out as he had time to kill before his train. Unfortunately for him, it was one of those ones that the doors are programmed to open automatically after a certain amount of time. He must have got too into the project and lost track of time, because the doors opened while he was still sitting there with his kecks at his ankles to the horror of two platforms' worth of commuters waiting for their trains. If similar had happened to most people they'd never tell a soul, but he was naive enough to come into work and act outraged and oblivious enough not to understand why we were rolling about the floor when he did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 Back in the 1990s a tv show called Gladiators featured a lad who could jump cars. Being a 6ft 10” basketball player stood him in good stead. Fuelled with testosterone, speed and Stella I declared it was a piece of piss and would show that jumping clean over cars was easy. Right enough it was easy but it was an icy night and I tackled it head first, Superman style, skidded off the roof and landed face first on the other side of the car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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