HTG Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 Heading from Greggs at Haymarket across the roads in the direction of Ryrie's. Only had the stretch of road where the cars come down from Morrison Street to get across. Soup in one hand, doughnut in the other and my eye firmly fixed on the traffic starting to move, I put my head down and ran forward to nimbly scramble across just ahead of the c***s. However, I failed to spot one of the poles holding up the new (at the time) overhead wires for the trams. Battered it head first, glasses in bits but doughnut salvaged. The soup almost made it across the road as a result of its momentum but alas not quite. Looked and felt like a total arse and it hurt like f**k. At least Haymarket is quiet enough for nobody to notice ... not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rizzo Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 Not slapstick per say but I was stuck in traffic in Edinburgh city centre on my way home from work once, it had been raining heavily all day but the sun had come out by this point. I could hear sirens approaching but couldn't move anywhere and there was a bus lane in any case. I was stuck outside a pub and there was a queue of Hibs fans waiting on a bus (I assume). The siren turned out to be from an ambulance which was utilising the bus lane to get through the heavy traffic. It went through a massive puddle and completely soaked each and every one of the Hibs fans that were standing there. I still laugh when I think about it now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wellinwigan Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 One time at bandcamp ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highlandcowden Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 my dad and I were having some lunch at my grans years ago,overlooking the courtyard of her sheltered housing complex,it was really cold out and it was like an icerink,some old guy came tottering along,fell over and couldn't get up. My dad and I went out to give him a hand,on closer inspection he was utterly jaked,with a tin of export in each jacket pocket.we each grabbed him under the arm and hauled him up,at which point his trousers fell down.i looked up to see my granny, a stern,very religious and pretty humourless woman,near ending herself with laughter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highlandcowden Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 2 minutes ago, highlandcowden said: my dad and I were having some lunch at my grans years ago,overlooking the courtyard of her sheltered housing complex,it was really cold out and it was like an icerink,some old guy came tottering along,fell over and couldn't get up. My dad and I went out to give him a hand,on closer inspection he was utterly jaked,with a tin of export in each jacket pocket.we each grabbed him under the arm and hauled him up,at which point his trousers fell down.i looked up to see my granny, a stern,very religious and pretty humourless woman,near ending herself with laughter I notice welshbairn has reacted positively to the above-he'll be shocked to discover the sheltered housing complex in question was right round the corner from the Nipp Inn on grant st,inverness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 53 minutes ago, highlandcowden said: I notice welshbairn has reacted positively to the above-he'll be shocked to discover the sheltered housing complex in question was right round the corner from the Nipp Inn on grant st,inverness Cheers pal. You didn't need to nick my Export though.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted November 7, 2018 Share Posted November 7, 2018 Posted this before but ideal for this thread.... Sitting in the van 1 lunchtime and for the life of me I don't know why i looked up but as my colleague rolled down his window and threw the last of his tea out the window into the face of a passing cyclist, I'm very glad I did. An absolute Mr Bean or Frank Spencer moment. Pure class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highlandcowden Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 9 hours ago, welshbairn said: Cheers pal. You didn't need to nick my Export though.. cruel to be kind,it was for your own good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 Just before leaving for work early this morning my wife started spraying her hair....with furniture polish. Cue a lot of coughing and spluttering and moaning that everyone would think she smelled of furniture polish. (She did). Not happy with my giggling fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevieKTID Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 Back in the mid 80's i attended Garnock Academy, one day our PE class was being held indoors think it was volleyball week, our teacher was also a guidance teacher and was called away, so he left but warned us he'd be straight back and told us to behave, within seconds of his departure we began kicking every type of ball we could find in the equipment room, then some one turned out the lights, balls were flying everywhere and everyone was having a great time, then the teacher returned he began shouting and turned the lights back on, just as the lights came on i looked up to see my mate volley a basketball which hit the teachers clipboard then his face, he went mental and made us go out running in the freezing cold but it was worth it, my mate and i still laugh about it 30 years on, good times Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 4 hours ago, dee_62 said: Just before leaving for work early this morning my wife started spraying her hair....with furniture polish. Cue a lot of coughing and spluttering and moaning that everyone would think she smelled of furniture polish. (She did). Not happy with my giggling fit. My mum mistook superglue for her eye drops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 23 minutes ago, Hand As Porn said: My mum mistook superglue for her eye drops. you win! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevieKTID Posted November 8, 2018 Share Posted November 8, 2018 Just remebered another... I was sitting in my car in a small car park with a mate waiting for another mate, directly opposite is a mrk1 ford fiesta, its a total state, the owner has added big spot lights and a whole host of other crap to try and disguise the fact that its a piece of crap.The owner was affectionately known as "wee jeans" due to the fact that he was a small chap who never seemed to find a pair of jeans that fitted correctly, either too small or too big with mega turn ups. We're sitting passing judgement on his car when we hear a beep and the lights flash, wee jeans is approaching, we start laughing that this terrible car has an alarm, so wee jeans appears, he has just jumped up onto the small wall that surrounds the car park, he jumps down but lands poorly and starts doing that running while falling forward thing and then boom head first into the side of his own car he lands in a heap and starts groaning holding his head, we did the right thing though... Full beamed him while banging the horn and laughing like crazy, sleep tight Wee Jeans wherever you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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