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The Fantastic Excuses Thread


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When I was 16-18 I worked in McDonald’s part time after school and weekends. When we booked our holiday at the end of 6th year myself and my other mate both remembered to book the week off from work. The other member of our group who was coming on holiday forgot to book time off.

Instead of persuading people to take shifts/last minute holiday he just chose to call them from the airport and say he was away on holiday. When pressed why he hadn’t told them he kept telling them he’d handed over a holiday form and they’d lost it.

He got away with it.

You’d think he’d make sure he remembered to book holidays in the future right? Well no he did the exact same thing the following year.

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Just remembered that when I worked in Asda one summer on the deli counter, a bad hangover confined me to the bog upstairs next to the canteen. I fell asleep for about an hour before one of the deli fuckers came up and knocked on the door to see what was going on. I lied and said I had eaten some wafer thin ham earlier and it made me sick.  He told the supervisor who promptly shut down the counter on basis there could be contaminated meat.

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47 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Just remembered that when I worked in Asda one summer on the deli counter, a bad hangover confined me to the bog upstairs next to the canteen. I fell asleep for about an hour before one of the deli fuckers came up and knocked on the door to see what was going on. I lied and said I had eaten some wafer thin ham earlier and it made me sick.  He told the supervisor who promptly shut down the counter on basis there could be contaminated meat.

Similar to when I was training in Japan, went out on the Sunday night and was a bit worse for wear Monday morning. I had to go to the toilet about 4 times in the first hour of the training to heave my guts up, then fell asleep about half an hour before lunch. Told them I'd bought some street food the previous day and wasn't feeling very well. They questioned me on what food it was I bought and I was totally unprepared and said "some sort of sausage". They seemed a bit confused but never questioned me any further. 

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Got offered treble pay for working one Sunday in a call centre job years ago.

Didn't realise until the night before that the trains didn't start on Sunday until about the same time I was due to start work in Glasgow.

Would have still just about made it via bus from Ayrshire but the (relief) driver incredibly got lost in Glasgow and nearly ended up in Springburn instead of the bus station. Another guy and me had to give him directions.

Ended up half an hour late. Work weren't impressed but didn't mind too much as half the folk due to be in hadn't turned up at all and were presumably all still out from the night before.

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15 minutes ago, Nutz_the_Squirrel said:

Guy I used to work with phoned in sick but had actually planned to go to M&Ds. A ride he went on broke and he got stuck on it for a good while, and his mug was then all over the Scottish news. Rumbled. 

Did he also stay at the Strathclyde Hilton?

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15 hours ago, Nutz_the_Squirrel said:

Guy I used to work with phoned in sick but had actually planned to go to M&Ds. A ride he went on broke and he got stuck on it for a good while, and his mug was then all over the Scottish news. Rumbled. 

I've a mate who was all over the news cos of that anaw, Giving interviews the lot. 

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