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Mince Pie Watch 2023


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Welcome to this year's Mince Pie Watch.

In order to be of service to the community, I will be wrecking my svelt figure over the next two months so that you do not need to be let down by substandard mince pies, false advertising, and money grabbing profiteers.

This year's rating system will be based on Scottish Football Teams. At least, my personal feelings towards Scottish Football Teams. As I am a helpful chap, the second post in this thread will be edited regularly to contain the short rating of all pies sampled. Full descriptions can be found in the pie's specific post.

 

 

Edited by mathematics
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The Ratings

Sainsbury's Taste the Difference Mince Pies with All Butter Pasty, filled with Brandy Infused Mincemeat - PARTICK THISTLE FOOTBALL CLUB (specifically season 2022-23), due to the fancy nature but lack of staying power when it came to the crunch.

M&S All Butter Puff Pastry Mince Pies - FALKIRK FOOTBALL CLUB, due to not having enough substance and always letting down their loyal, if misguided, support.

M&S Collection Mince Pies - HIBERNIAN FOOTBALL CLUB, due to being quite tasty, but not being good enough to win any trophies and really not providing value for money.

Waitrose Crumble Top Mince Pies with Cranberry and Orange - THE RANGERS FOOTBALL CLUB, due to being quite tasty, but very very orangey and nowhere near the great pie that once existed which they are pretending to be.

Asda Extra Special Frangipane & Amaretto Mince Pies - AIRDRIE FOOTBALL CLUB, because no one should like these pies.

Asda Extra Special Brown Butter and Rum Mince Pies - CELTIC FOOTBALL CLUB (Seasons 2021 - 22 & 2022 - 23), as they were fucking shite before this offering, amazing for this brief spell, and will [no doubt] continue to be shite again soon.

Edited by mathematics
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Sainsbury's Taste the Difference Mince Pies with All Butter Pasty, filled with Brandy Infused Mincemeat

First up this year is a delightful offering from Sainsbury's. The pastry was a little peely-wally, but thick enough. There was an good amount of filling, which was itself quite posh tasting - perhaps a little too lahdedeh. I was quite enjoying the tasting experience and thinking that this could be a pie for the Top Division, but then, right at the last moment, the arse fell right out of it. The guts of the pie landed everywhere an it was clear that, despite the initial good taste and feeling, the pie just wasn't up to the challenge.

I hereby award this pie the rating of: PARTICK THISTLE FOOTBALL CLUB (specifically season 2022-23), due to the fancy nature but lack of staying power when it came to the crunch.

Sainsburys_Brandy_Infused_Mincemeat.jpg

Edited by mathematics
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1 hour ago, mathematics said:

The Ratings

Sainsbury's Taste the Difference Mince Pies with All Butter Pasty, filled with Brandy Infused Mincemeat - PARTICK THISTLE (specifically season 2022-23), due to the fancy nature but lack of staying power when it came to the crunch.

Partick Thistle are probably the type of club that actually sell mince pies (the seasonal variety).

See also Spartans.

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9 minutes ago, RH33 said:

Mince pies are an abomination and should be banned under Trading Standards as no mince is contained.

Christ, you use that standard and most of the teams below the Championship are at risk of being banned too…

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7 hours ago, mathematics said:

Sainsbury's Taste the Difference Mince Pies with All Butter Pasty, filled with Brandy Infused Mincemeat

First up this year is a delightful offering from Sainsbury's. The pastry was a little peely-wally, but thick enough. There was an good amount of filling, which was itself quite posh tasting - perhaps a little too lahdedeh. I was quite enjoying the tasting experience and thinking that this could be a pie for the Top Division, but then, right at the last moment, the arse fell right out of it. The guts of the pie landed everywhere an it was clear that, despite the initial good taste and feeling, the pie just wasn't up to the challenge.

I hereby award this pie the rating of: PARTICK THISTLE (specifically season 2022-23), due to the fancy nature but lack of staying power when it came to the crunch.

Sainsburys_Brandy_Infused_Mincemeat.jpg

I bought these yesterday (currently on sale at £1.75) so appreciate the verdict. Think I'll put them in the oven to see if they hold up better after that - I think a lot of these are deliberately kept barely cooked to allow for heating at home too. 

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