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I get that Eastenders is fictional, i get that it in no way ever gets close to reality.

But the ongoing Slaters storylines are verging on the frankly absurd (especially when all run at the same time) and as such i spent the latest episode swearing at the screen.

i know how you feel, i lost my two kids in a doodlebug attack in the war!

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But the ongoing Slaters storylines are verging on the frankly absurd (especially when all run at the same time) and as such i spent the latest episode swearing at the screen.

Kat was especially gobby yesterday. I'm quite annoyed her and Alfie are back, to be honest. They left last year. They had leaving music and everything. But they're back just a few months later. What did Fatboy get, despite being in the show for six years and being infinitely more likeable than Kat? Nothing, that's what. Poor Fatboy.

Stacey's psychosis is shaping up to be suitably dramatic and silly though. Looking forward to her declaring that the baby is the second coming and its father is God. At least, I hope that's where this is going.

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I'm beginning to think the producer just drew names out of a tombola for old characters returning in the last couple of weeks.

We've had Glenda, Lucas, Kat, Alfie, Charlie, Mo and Jack Branning off the top of my head.

This programme is dying on his arse and has been for years. Same with Corrie.

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Funny how the nun only came looking for Kat the moment they arrived back on the square.

Except Kat was making a donation to the church from their lottery win, so the first nun came to collect that. The second nun read the first nun's appointment book.

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It's a real shame EastEnders has failed to build on its thrilling run over the festive season; the post-New Year episodes have been rotten and increasingly convoluted. The reappearance of Kat Slater and her tar-black misery is hugely unwelcome - of all the main eventers in recent years, she's probably the one I've liked the least. She screeches rather than talks and her chemistry with Alfie, arguably her most important attribute, has waned. I don't care about her, her children, or her family.

Stacey Slater's ongoing issues are a bit diverting but when you've been getting used to Big Match Phil and Ian Beale going at it and Danny Dyer giving a career-defining performance as Mick, the whole thing seems pretty underwhelming. I suppose there's something to look forward to in the coming weeks (Phil's cirrhosis; Bobby Beale) but it's hard going at the moment.

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Except Kat was making a donation to the church from their lottery win, so the first nun came to collect that. The second nun read the first nun's appointment book.

Was she? I really need to start paying more attention. Maybe it's the fact that I've absolutely zero interest in this storyline.
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Was she? I really need to start paying more attention. Maybe it's the fact that I've absolutely zero interest in this storyline.

I would argue that I really need to start paying less attention...

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Guest The Phoenix

Except Kat was making a donation to the church from their lottery win, so the first nun came to collect that. The second nun read the first nun's appointment book.

Nosey Nun picking up bad habit.

^^^ I confess that's out of order but no worse a script than the bilge being turned out on screen.

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Whoever plays Kush is the worst actor in soap history. I seem to mind him propping up on The Bill and being equally as shite.

Nah man, the boy who plays Kush is good. He's got chemistry with Shabnam and they handled the stillborn episode with grace.

Weird couple of episodes this evening, can't make up my mind if I enjoyed them. The scenes between Phil and Alfie were great (you're not going to get anything less from Big Match Phil) but Stacey's plight, as frustrating as it must be to experience in real life, is hard to watch.

This is the Stacey I want to remember:

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Weird couple of episodes this evening, can't make up my mind if I enjoyed them.

Funnily enough, that's exactly what I was just thinking.

I don't think I like Stacey's sister/brother. He's a terrible actor. Stacey normally does the descent into an episode brilliantly but I'm not enjoying the performance time around (not that it's "enjoyable" but you see what I mean - it's been incredibly moving to watch before, just not so much this time). Kat was another one that could do drama and despair brilliantly but last night she looked at that nun and told her she was mistaken and just reminded me of that Nicolas Cage meme.

It was obvious Alfie was fibbing but Phil was on form as always, delivering advice in his own inimitable way.

The events of Christmas and New Year have, again, been swept aside to concentrate on other things (like Strictly Come Dancing for one) and the rest of the square seem to have forgotten any of it happened. Shabnam has become Ronnie (one child given up, one child sadly deceased, married to a man who has fathered a child to their closest friend/relative). I can't wait until she starts buying guns and accidentally bumping people off.

As much as I like Vincent, the rest of his family get on my tits. His mum needs a slap. How many parts in the show does one actress need?

I'm really missing Danny Dyer. :(

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Kyle is a dreadful actor, isn't he. The producers deserve a lot of credit for introducing a transgender actor to the show but my goodness, he's rotten. The way he reacted to Stacey's breakdown completely sucked me out of it - a concerned, hang-dog expression isn't how I'd react to being called "the devil". And his conversations with his best friend (I'm not sure if she's even been introduced yet) are crap too, there's nothing there to suggest there's a relationship there.

The girl that plays Shabnam is a good actor (as mentioned above, she's got great chemistry with Kush and the pair handled the stillborn episode very well) but she can be grating. That said, I wonder how I'd react if I was in the same situation.

Claudette is shocking. She's had some heel turn in recent weeks. She seemed a genial sort and was good during the breakdown of Les and Pam's relationship but she's been rotten over the Christmas period. I couldn't buy into her motivations or her anger towards Vincent.

Danny Dyer was class over the last month, and there's a real tenderness to his performance as Mick. I remember watching him when he first joined the show and there was an awkward moment where his son came out to him - Dyer was asked to portray emotions he was incapable of - but he's really grown into it. The whole angle with Shirley really brought the best out of him.

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I've seen many of Danny Dyer's films and I'll be honest, I've never watched him to see a talented portrayal of a character, however he seems to have settled right in as Mic and I think he's just perfect in that role.

There's been rumours and suggestion that he will end up having a fling with Whitney but I really can't see it happening. He's that last soap character who would stray!

Edited by Mrs M
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