Eastenders....

[Lisa Cuddy]

Just seen an interview with Scott Maslen this morning. He says she's taking a break and that she loves Eastenders, although said a minute later 'she hasn't shut the door' which sounds a bit less like 'a break' and more like 'buggering off but not ruling out a return'.

[sam2304]

Why won't Arthur Fatboy tell Mercy how he feels? He needs a slap

[clyde til we die]

Why won't Arthur Fatboy tell Mercy how he feels? He needs a slap

Because she'd eat him alive, have you seen the lips on it, anyway i hope someone reports her for being here illegally.

[Lisa Cuddy]

Because she'd eat him alive, have you seen the lips on it, anyway i hope someone reports her for being here illegally.

Yes, how dare she be in Walford, on English shores! Oh, wait a minute...

[sam2304]

Big Mo putting laxatives in the journalists tea was genius

[monkeyblair]

Something did puzzle me somewhat on Friday though. When the police turned up to take Ronnie away, they left the baby with Kat and Alfie - they never actually went to go and see the lad. Now,Jack is registered as the boy's father (because obviously it's not been proven that he is Tommy yet), and they would have been required to ensure the baby's safety and comfort, which would mean that until there is evidence to show otherwise, "James" should remain with his "father". If Jack refused to accept the responsibility, they wouldn't have simply left him with Kat, but they would have placed him in the care of Social Services. The only exception to that would be perhaps if there was a grandmother or aunt that they could leave him with, but Dot has a broken arm, Jim's either in the house and incapacitated or in respite (depending whether or not the writers have remembered this time that he's meant to be there while Dot's arm's knackered) and the Jacksons are all nutters, so that wouldn't have been an option. I know it's artistic licence and all, but come on the buggery, do they really think people wouldn't have worked this out?

Eastenders in dodgy storyline shocker.

[monkeyblair]

I really felt sorry for Jack, my Mrs had a tear in her eye when he was saying goodbye but said the ending with a happy Kat was cheesy!! How fickle women can be.

[Lisa Cuddy]

I really felt sorry for Jack, my Mrs had a tear in her eye when he was saying goodbye but said the ending with a happy Kat was cheesy!! How fickle women can be.

It was really sad. I think even Adam was close to a wee greet over that bit. I hate when they leave out the doof doofs and put in that bloody stupid music though.

Good old Charlie to the rescue. About time he did something right for Kat. I him saying "I used to do this for Zoe", was a bit insensitive in the circumstances. Talk about rubbing her nose in it! He and Viv took Zoe away when she was tiny and then thanks to him nipping off for a pint, Kat got robbed of that time with Tommy as well.

[monkeyblair]

It was really sad. I think even Adam was close to a wee greet over that bit. I hate when they leave out the doof doofs and put in that bloody stupid music though.

Good old Charlie to the rescue. About time he did something right for Kat. I him saying "I used to do this for Zoe", was a bit insensitive in the circumstances. Talk about rubbing her nose in it! He and Viv took Zoe away when she was tiny and then thanks to him nipping off for a pint, Kat got robbed of that time with Tommy as well.

Great to see Charlie back, at least we now have a taxi driver back on the square for all those emergencies.

Adam needs to get a grip, the only thing that brought a tear to my eye was when Fatboy blurted out that he loves Mercy.

[Lisa Cuddy]

Great to see Charlie back, at least we now have a taxi driver back on the square for all those emergencies.

Adam needs to get a grip, the only thing that brought a tear to my eye was when Fatboy blurted out that he loves Mercy.

He's only back for 2 episodes, so I wouldn't get too used to him.

You need to grow a pair, lad.

[sam2304]

What a silly girl Whitney is. Also Dot should start charging by the hour for the advice she gives. She'd be minted

[Lisa Cuddy]

It's funny how few residents of the square have any belief in God, but they all still go running to Dot to ask her what he would do.

Bit of a dull one last night really. My only complaint is Whitney. Ok, so she's been through a lot, but most of that was her own doing. She decided to stay with Janine and do what that sly old cow told her, knowing exactly what she's like. She chose not to come home when she was asked to. She's choosing to alienate herself from everybody with her "I just want to be left alone" and "you're not my dad" crap. I don't blame Ricky for giving up on her and woe betide her when Bianca gets home.

[berwick-the-unbeatable]

Thank f**k the baby storyline has basically ended. Eastenders has been shite for the past two months, to the point where I far prefer Corrie now.

[monkeyblair]

It's funny how few residents of the square have any belief in God, but they all still go running to Dot to ask her what he would do.

Bit of a dull one last night really. My only complaint is Whitney. Ok, so she's been through a lot, but most of that was her own doing. She decided to stay with Janine and do what that sly old cow told her, knowing exactly what she's like. She chose not to come home when she was asked to. She's choosing to alienate herself from everybody with her "I just want to be left alone" and "you're not my dad" crap. I don't blame Ricky for giving up on her and woe betide her when Bianca gets home.

And now she's back in the fold and it is also sweetness and light so Bianca isn't going to go fecking mental at her when she gets back.

Poor Heavy Hev is in for a bit of a disappointment too.

[monkeyblair]

I missed last nights action - can anyone give me a brief synopsis before tonight?

[Lisa Cuddy]

I missed last nights action - can anyone give me a brief synopsis before tonight?

Alas, I was essay writing last night so I missed it too. I've got it on Sky+ though, so I'll try and get it watched at some point today, toddler-permitting.

[monkeyblair]

Alas, I was essay writing last night so I missed it too. I've got it on Sky+ though, so I'll try and get it watched at some point today, toddler-permitting.

You do know my post was aimed straight in your direction and you never fail to disappoint .

Look forward to your synopsis - toddler permitting of course.

[Lisa Cuddy]

You do know my post was aimed straight in your direction and you never fail to disappoint .

Look forward to your synopsis - toddler permitting of course.

Well, the toddler didn't get much choice in the end! Not a lot of humour or interest in it last night I'm afraid, but I'll see what I can do to fill you in.

To start. Yusef is out early in the morning and sees Masood changing into his postman uniform and then meeting Phil Mitchell and handing over a wad of cash. Meanwhile, Zainab is opening a letter from Ratchett Loan Company and worrying about the cash situation. Tam and Afia have another wee chat about telling everyone they're married, but bottle it again, just as Mas walks in and hands over some cash, saying that it's been double time at the sorting office over the bank holiday weekend. I'm not really sure why the sorting office would hand over a roll of brand spanking new notes for a bit of overtime, but it's Eastenders, so that'll be none of the viewer's business, I'm guessing. We then see the naughty Cobra Khan having a wee catch up with Denise in the cafe. She's complaining that Hev likes to point out regularly that she's in charge, although Denise says that she's the manager. The sly old doc says that he'll write her a sicknote if she's likes, with a suggestive twinkle in his eye. Denise declines, but before they finish their little chat, he manages to squeeze in his sighting of Phil and Masood, knowing that Denise will be working with Zainab.

Ryan (humina, humina) reappears back at Whitney's and agrees to a pyjama and film day with his little sister. I got a bit excited at the thought of Ryan in his jimjams, but he apparently had to go out and pick up some popcorn and pizza and that kind of crap first, so he heads out to the Mini Mart. Never before has there needed to be three members of staff on in a shop that around 30 people in total use, but they've managed to shoehorn Denise, Zainab and Heather into one small space. Heather mentions to Ryan that Whitney needs her brother around at a time like this and Denise concurs, adding that it's a good job she got away. Ryan starts to ask what they're talking about when Arfa (that's Fatboy, in case you're wondering) suggests that he and Ryan have a little chat with Dot. When they leave, Denise drops in a mention of Yusef spotting Masood handing over cash to Phil, and Zainab storms off to chat with her husband.

We see a nice little scene with Afia and Tamwar announcing their marriage over the dining table, but from the way it's filmed, you only see the two of them in shot, but not who they're actually talking to. When this technique was used in the 80s, it probably worked, but it's a bit cliched now, so it was obvious that the only person they were talking to was Kamil even before the camera panned around to him sitting at the table. Masood walks in and tells them to go to the stall and he'll watch Kamil. Zainab appears and demands to know what he's doing with Phil Mitchell. She checks his bag and finds his suit and another wad of cash hidden in it. Zainab is concerned that it's drugs, but if anything seems even more annoyed to find out that it's gambling. She tells him of the other ways to find money, loans and begging people. Mas says there's no one else they can ask, and she snaps back "there's always Yusef!". He states, calmly but firmly, he will not ask that man for help.

Ryan confronts Whitney about what's been happening and she tries to explain, but he loses his temper when she tells him that she loved Rob and that he reminded her of her big brother. He storms off to Janine to find out what she knows and asks where he can find Rob. Janine (of all people) tells him that she could give him the address but that Rob has moved on and what Whitney really needs right now is Ryan to look after her. Who knew the girl could talk some sense now and then? Rob goes back round to Whitney and gives her a cuddle. Aw.

Zainab, after a chat with Yusef in the square, is persuaded to go and visit Syed. It's really much the same as all her other meetings with Syed in that all she does is touch his cheek, cry and say "I shouldn't have come" and then runs out the door again. I'm getting a bit bored of that to be honest.

There's a dull wee bit where the council have ditched meals on wheels and no one has thought to tell Dot. Denise, Fatboy and Kim turn up with tubs of food for her and Jim, and Mr Bishop appears. Dot tells him that she doesn't want them all there, so Mr Bishop tells them all to bugger off and they take the food to the home where Jim is staying. Dot has a cracker of a line in telling Mr Bishop that Jim has "always been partial to a bit of foreign", but that's about all that happens of interest there. As the meals on wheels is finished, Mr Bishops leaves Dot, saying "farewell" as he doesn't know when he'll see her again. He leaves, but before we end the scene, we see Dot looking a little deflated. I'm not going to begin to imagine what's going on in her head. The thought of Dot's stirring loins is enough to make my stomach flip.

Tam and Afia decide to set a date for their "wedding" - 21st June - to get it out of the way quickly without the need to reveal that they're already married. I can't wait until they turn up at mosque and the heid blokey says "hang on, haven't you two already been in?". With that, Masood announces he's going to work - and he means for Phil Mitchell again. Zainab follows him out of the house, begging him not to go. He ignores her and heads off anyway. She takes her phone out of her pocket and dials a number, presumably Yusef's, because she says "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I need your help. I never stopped loving you". I'm a little bit concerned as to how the residents of the square seem to swap phone numbers quite so easily, despite their apparent hatred of each other. If there was someone you didn't like in your street, would you say "here, have my phone number. Call me anytime. You're still a fanny though"? No, me either. But, I suppose, this is the square and these things are necessary for a storyline.

[sam2304]

Never before has there needed to be three members of staff on in a shop that around 30 people in total use, but they've managed to shoehorn Denise, Zainab and Heather into one small space.

I noticed that, ridiculous. Patrick must have money to burn

[Lisa Cuddy]

I can't believe I forgot to mention Ben's bullies. I don't care that there's three of them and they're all bigger than him. The main boy is a fucking ginger and the other two fannies actually look up to a ginger! After that smack Ben gave his Dad when he got out of the naughty boy's house, I'm amazed he's sitting back and taking it.