pozbaird

We might have to live on whatever is left in the shops if the panic buying of bog roll is replicated into other areas - by wankjobs who need a kicking. Bread and milk the obvious contenders for the title. Closely followed by fcuk knows what. Square sausage probably.

Up in the big Tesco in Cumbernauld yesterday, two whole sections of the store were completely empty. Toilet roll, and, I kid you not, Auntie Bessie’s frozen Yorkshire puddings. Seriously, what’s going on? Defrost the puddings to use as arsewipes?

I thought Andreu did OK when he came on. The way things are looking with injuries, we need him, and we need to get behind him. We went into last night’s game already missing Stephen McGinn, Ryann Flynn, and Kyle Magennis. A massive loss to a team like St Mirren. We then suffered a few nasty looking ones last night. Frankly, if we can just finish out of the bottom two spots now, then huge kudos to Jim Goodwin and his team.

An absolute class act, and Best was decent too.

Naismith. Was already on a yellow for being a fanny at a free kick, then blatantly cheated and dived. Referee shat it. So, if Hearts were denied a penalty, then GIRFUY Naisy.

Fcuk group hugs. Fcuking Hibs losing to that shower of shite at Easter Road? How in the name of fcu.... Sorry, sorry, apologies... no need for that. Big cuddles to our Leith friends... but only if they promise to wash their hands for twenty seconds first.

They also should have been down to ten men.

That team oozed pish, with a cheating diving wee baldy cnut in the No14 jersey. Easy the Mirren, we own Hearts in crunch games, semi finals, finals. Time to enjoy the Alba re-run and get the kettle on.

Statement from St Mirren Chairman Gordon Scott: Following discussions with Jim Goodwin and his backroom team, anyone displaying a tendency to play constant sideways passes in midfield will not be admitted to the Simple Digital Arena tonight. We apologise to Jim and his players for any inconvenience this may cause.

If we don’t then we need to put it into perspective - first world problems and all that. No point in spitting the dummy, millions of people will be similarly affected. Will just stay home and watch Tipping Point of an afternoon. Maybe venture into Cumbernauld for a Costa... unless Cumbernauld is in lockdown too. Fcuk it. Tipping Point it is then.

Agree that Southwest are a good airline (in general). Have flown with them a few times before. We are splitting our time in Vegas. A few days at the JW Marriott resort in Summerlin, then on the strip at Wynn. Who knows if our amended plans will still be affected by this in May. Hopefully not. Vegas may be quieter than normal (if this coronavirus panic is still in play), but TBH, if it’s a bit quieter than its normal madness on the strip, no complaints. The last time we went to Vegas when it was indeed quieter than normal was after 9/11, when Americans were shitting themselves about flying, while we absolutely wanted to fly as normal. Maybe a Scottish thing, of basically, fcuk um’, we’re going? Who knows.

We know. We just look at your avatar pic to see you in action.

Indeed. Getting our heads around the fact that we have Joma for another three years.

Like the sound of this. St Mirren - saved from relegation by Gretna imploding, Hearts points deduction, Dundee United being pish at penalties, and coronavirus. Easy the Mirren.

Update - we were actually able to cancel our two-night stay at our original LA hotel with no cost, so just booked an overnight stay at an LAX airport hotel with the Southwest flight the following morning. There’s a free hotel shuttle to and from the airport. This gives us more time in Vegas. We actually did look at car hire and could have got a one-way hire with Hertz, in a mid-sized SUV for £28... no doubt then there’s the add-ons you need. Anyway, as we were in LA relatively recently, not bothered about missing a wee bit of sight seeing there, rather have the extra day in Vegas. Haven’t been there for six years now. A bit of re-arranging, and a couple of hours on the internet, and everything sorted out. I actually stopped to think just how easy it actually was to sort the elements out - using an iPad and the worldwide interweb thingy.... you take it for granted.

Fcuk sake, and I thought my jokes were bad.

Mourinho about to bring on a substitute to give Spurs hope...

North Lanarkshire Council are all over it. We’ve been told to go here at the first sign of a wheeze.

We already have our flight booked to Los Angeles to pick up the cruise, and our flight home from Vancouver following it. Also a couple of nights in LA and Vancouver hotels. We haven’t changed them, just cancelled the cruise. So, we looked for something land-based to fill in the gap between LA and Vancouver to simply replace the cruise. Got Southwest flights to Vegas from LAX for $45 each, and Westjet flights from Vegas to Vancouver. A doddle to book a Vegas hotel, so fingers crossed nothing else of a major disaster nature happens between now and May - leprosy, a plague of locusts, St Mirren renewing Tony Andreu’s contract.

I got two e-mails yesterday. One from Princess Cruises and one from the Hard Rock Cafe group. Both e-mails were to tell you that they are upping their cleaning routines, are using new cleaning products that kill anything that moves, and not to worry about going on one of their cruises, or eating one of their burgers..... then today, I get another e-mail from Princess Cruises offering a 100% refund, no questions asked, if we want to cancel our May cruise with them. OK then, wasn’t going to cancel the cruise, but seeing as how you made the first move.... cancelled ten minutes ago, off to Las Vegas instead.

Just read that Italy is in lockdown, sixty million people told to stay indoors. I might be missing something completely obvious here, but let’s say for talkings sake, the Rome Hilton hotel. Maybe one thousand people now stuck in that hotel? They will need fed, will want information, so I imagine the lobby / restaurant areas will get busy. That surely constitutes a gathering of people, and is a breeding ground to pass anything on, as everyone is now concentrated into a confined space. How is this going to help? Am I missing something? I must be missing something. Something so painfully bleedin’ obvious.

You go away for four days. You return. You have a swatch’ at P&B. You read that a Scottish club could become a plaything for Chelsea’s owners. You learn it could be St Johnstone.... you immediately navigate to the last page in the thread, to see any latest updates on this Fakes / Feeder Club story.... it appears St Johnstone are being targeted for a takeover by Hugh Grant, who was having his boaby’ sooked by a hooker in the car park at the crematorium beside McDiarmid Park. The hooker is called Brown. This all fits. Am I following the latest developments correctly? Gotta’ love a few days away from P&B.

Was never off the menu. The only thing that changes in our top flight campaigns is the name of the team we need to be even more shit than we are.

Sorry, I realise you weren’t being disparaging. I jokingly refer to many Scottish sides as ‘diddy teams’. Compared to some of our fellow diddies, we have a fanbase who have seen us actually win the two big competitions we at least have a shot in. Many of our fellow diddies haven’t enjoyed our level of success. I was merely blowing our diddy trumpet a wee bit (ooh err missus, Kenneth Williams gif...). Fair play to those diddy team fans who haven’t enjoyed even our level of success, but still turn out each week. Morton.

The underdog that many of us have seen win the Scottish Cup, League Cup, and some First Division titles, play in Europe a few times, and finish third in the top flight. I don’t count the Ramsdens Bells Petrofac Irn Bru Norn Iron Welsh Diddies and Old Firm Cnuty Colts Cup - an abomination of a cup competition, but that’s just my opinion. No-one need share it. Not too bad for a diddy underdog. I appreciate the likes of Celtic win our entire cup haul in a single season, every season, but they can fcuk off too.