pozbaird

I’ll cheer for whoever is playing an ugly sister in the vast majority of games, until it becomes so clear cut that to do that would be daft. Wanting Aberdeen out of the Scottish Cup being a prime example. Until those ‘clear as day’ occasions come around, my attitude is very much FTOF.

On the upside, living here, it’s generally a doddle and pleasureable to drive around, what with the amount of dual carriageways we have (the A9 North would kill for them), the almost complete lack of traffic lights, the separation of traffic & pedestrians, and our easy access to and from the M80. Cannae’ really complain. When I go back to Paisley and have to negotiate the route from the M8 cutoff to my mate’s house up towards the Barrhead direction out of Paisley? At least the SMiSA is easier to get to. Cut off at St James’ Interchange, or, cut off at Pheonix Park at Linwood and come in the back way. Usually no bother. I digress though. Roundabout chunts. Let’s not forget them, come the glorious revolution.

I’m as careful as I can be on this particular roundabout, keeping my eyes peeled for those in the right hand lane… they may not be actually turning right. Rather than occupy the right lane and go all the way around, why don’t I simply turn left into Tesco and buy beer and a big 12 pack of crisps? Safe. Secure. Sorted.

It’s more than annoying when it’s a roundabout you take on a daily basis, and the ‘South’ approach to it is two lanes at the roundabout itself, but only one lane straight through on the most-used ‘North’ exit. I have been involved in multiple near crashes as a ‘right lane bomber straight through’ has done their bombing from behind me while I am taking the North exit from the correct lane and they nearly slam into me when ‘two into one does not go’. They weren’t at the roundabout beside me and we both pulled away together or anything, they are out of sight behind you, and appear like a flash from your blind spot. Sometimes you just know that folk are genuinely lost or unsure of where to be, but you also just know when it’s kunts knowingly being kunts. For what? To avoid being behind a couple of cars for under ten seconds?

The Hot Space album certainly was.

Yeah, know this roundabout well. Was there last week, approached as you say, in the right lane to go all the way round into the shops. No issues on the roundabout. Parked up, nipped into the McDonalds there and while sitting with a cheeseburger, staring blankly into the middle distance, I suddenly noticed two guys running towards the McDonalds across the big car park, both carrying shopping baskets overflowing with stuff. Behind them, they were being chased by six Home Bargains staff shouting the odds. The two guys were running in what can only be described as the campest style ever seen in Robroyston. They were holding the wire shopping baskets in two hands in front of them, trying not to spill any of the stuff they had obviously just stolen from Home Bargains. Fcuk knows what was in their baskets. Two hundred bargain air fresheners? Boxes of powder to clean the inside of your microwave oven? Anyway, they danced off out of my view now, closely followed by the six Home Bargains chasing pack. Was one of my more interesting trips to Robroyston Retail Park.

Roundabouts, again. Cumbernauld, again. The roundabout at Tesco Craigmarloch, again. Just about every day, I’m the ‘blue car’ in this image, coming up to the roundabout, to go straight through following the ‘blue car’ line. If I don’t go straight through, I’ll be turning left into the Tesco. The ‘red car’ image here, is the ‘kunt’ image, because this is where the kunts who cannot be arsed waiting behind a couple of ‘blue cars’ try to bomb past and cut across to go straight through the roundabout. The ‘straight through’ at this roundabout is single lane. Every, fcuking, day. Kuntos.

I’ll be recording it to whizz through tomorrow to watch the picks, and ignore the bollocks in-between the picks themselves. Funnily enough, I am not feeling too ethusiastic about the draft. More than that, really couldn’t give two flying fcuks. We’ll be getting scudded by Reid, Mahomes, Kelce & Swift anyway. We should just let Lewis Hamilton conduct the draft and he’d probably do as good a job as the Paton & Peyton clownshoes duo.

Sorry, but I am once again struggling to understand why any Dundee fan would want St Mirren to win any further games this season, and same for us with Dundee. If St Mirren’s opponent is Celtic, The Allstar 2012 Franchise, Hearts, or Killie - it shouldn’t matter a fcuk. Dark blues fans should want to see us pumped. I don’t get it, I can’t get it. Our primary concerns should be what is best for St Mirren and Dundee. If what’s best for St Mirren is for Dundee to get skelped by an Old Firm side, then for that game only, I want the Old Firm side to win. I’m not cheering FOR an arse cheek, I’m simply wanting the best result, the best outcome for my team. I make zero apology for that.

The bit in bold italics is the job of the West Bank and Gentleman’s Pavilion, certainly not the St Mirren management.

Rand*m G*y incoming…

In the world of Cumbernauld for one.

In 2nd gear.

I’ve got the ‘40 Licks’ best of double CD, like a fair bit of it, especially Under Cover of the Night, Brown Sugar, Satisfaction, Jumping Jack Flash - but that’s the only Stones CD I’ll ever need. It’s not that I hate them, far from it, but I simply think they are vastly over-rated, hence me stating it’s only my opinion. Opinions seem to be garnering red dots though. Fairy nuff’.

Yup, four of the driving things that grind my gears (that aren’t out-and-out downright dangerous kuntery type things)… 1. Drivers who seemingly have no indicators on their cars. 2. Drivers who don’t know how to take roundabouts, what lane to be in approaching roundabouts, what lane to be in on roundabouts, with Westfield Road in Cumbernauld being prime time roundabout arsewipe kunt area a particular annoyance to me personally. Roundabouts with a two-lane approach, but three one-way exits? Lost count the amount of times a kunt has nearly hit me on the one at Craigmarloch Tesco. 3. Motorway middle lane hoggers. 4. Fog light on for absolutely no fcuking reason arseholes. I’m not perfect, but I do not fit into these four categories.