Hedgecutter

Who was it on here that once admitted being at someone's house, realised the bog-roll was finished, couldn't be arsed getting another roll, just used one of their towels to wipe their arse and then threw the towel out the window?!

Or more to do with the fact you'd be pished within 15 mins , that's assuming there were no early red cards!

I never quite understood why you have to shout 'Football' whenever Dundee are mentioned of all rules?! I got to play this recently when all the games were wiped out with the weather. Jagermeister might have seen a big sales increase last month me thinks!

The Jeff Stelling Drinking Game of course!

So stopping after two would be perceived as plain rude then?!

If you find yourself following someone around the office or wherever, after how many doors do you stop saying 'thank you' when they hold them open for you before it starts getting weird???

Biscuits

or sitting next to someone in an office that uses voice recognition software. "Open file, edit font, times new roman size ten, justify text..." Shut the fcuk up you mouse-shy cnuts!!!

I was known to demolish entire multipacks of Wotsits back in my student days. Each pack just got better and better!

Holes in the middle of bagels - why?! Unless you're having them plain, pain in the arse for spreading anything. Plain doughnuts have holes but filled ones don't so any filling doesn't spread out anywhere. Had a McDonald's bagel this morning where the hole had been welded together and it was a far superior bagel experience.

I'd recorded this game to watch when I got home last night and I got through the whole day at work without knowing the score (no mean feat when you have BBC 24 News on every floor and at reception), only for the c*** of a barman in the empty TV-less and empty bar I went into after work to shout it out to his fellow barman when it was just the three of us in there. I went into that bar specifically because I knew there were no TVs too. He got f*** all tip for the meal I then had after that.

Lichtie, we can see you browsing this thread thinking of something annoying to say for the last 5-10 mins. please don't!!!

... And not one mention of the streets of Raith from Jeff??? Deary me.

I'm on the HTC with fat fingers - no excuses! P.s. the predictive text can be a pain in the arse* though, hence why most of my posts end up edited! * realised at last minute there that arse had been changed to star!

Buses were meant to be running on the non-school day (the dreaded 'NSch' small print) timetable today but ran on the normal one, meaning I turned up on time but had to wait 40 mins in the rain this morning for the next scheduled one to turn up. That's guaranteed to annoy me.

It annoys me when people can't spell Kirkcaldy. Edit: Does Jeff pronounce the 'L' or something? I've not actually seen Countdown for years.

I'd go half way and have 'Brolley Licences' where someone has to pass a test first before they can buy / use one.

"We were both speaking Scottish, something that I learned when I played in his home city of Glasgow, but I can't tell you what we said." Sounds like he picked up a few lines in Glasgow but probably never knew what they meant in the first place! - I called him a bawbag but I thought that meant 'old man' or something!

Sounds like a trapped nerve anyway. My mum had that in her shoulder for ages and always complained about pins in needles in that arm. She had to get a load of treatment for that but I think hers was quite a bad case.

I've had that for the last fortnight!!! Other guys are so busy that they can't use my finished work to do the work which I need to do the next step of my work... if that makes sense?! Long, long days. Getting paid for doing nothing sounds ace some might say but I'd much rather be busy! If I was at home on the other hand, it would be brilliant!!!

I suppose what actually gets me is when they're looking at the next person (or the ceiling!) while apparently speaking to me. I just find that a bit rude, but didn't think i was that ugly. And if they spoke to their friends they way to speak with their little pitches "hello, how are you today", they'd think they were weird! One biddie at my local co-op is horrendous for it and just sounds like a robot. It gets to the point where I could just stop her after scanning the last item and just say "No. No. No and I don't want one thank you" but that would be rude on my part. Petty as hell... but that's the thread name!

Shop assistants / till cashiers that speak in a fake 'nicey' voice and just look onto the next customer in the queue when giving you your change in a "you've given me your money, now f*** off while I get this guy's cash now" manner.

I'm not able to record certain programmes on Freeview +, do some channels / films have a copyright block on them or something?

Join the club! Nobody's lived though until they've started writing a report at 3am on the morning of the deadline, lost it for whatever reason (uni computers automatically rebooting in my case while I was visiting the bog) and then Hitting File > New and starting typing the thing out again from memory frantically before you can even scream 'ssshhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttteeeeee!!!', working through the rest of the morning with horrible stingy-eye syndrome. Everyone that's been to uni's done this at some point I'm sure?! No?

Software crashing when you've just done a pile of work and it's all lost. I once spent a fortnight writing a document, only to update my back-up file and see Windows corrupt both the backup and the original file, forcing me to write the whole bloody thing again as it was on my C Drive instead of a backed up server.