IMMORTAL HOWDEN ENDER

Did you ever manage to find the suitable baboon for yer brain transplant ? I am cherished, lauded and adored on CaleyThistleOnline.

Well that is the Jail End as I recall it.

Feck me - do you all need it speeling out !!

Of course it is alright by me. And please remember to remind your mates when his lack of pace lets you down. And Cauldron - the away end will be buzzing.

What happened to the Pips ?

Apologies but I still dont understand - I understand that you have had a few shots in Girvan but who is Green and is he OK after his stroke (CVA) - and why are the HM Rugby Club fighting the police at the police station ?

I have been away for a while - is there any chance if somebody could briefly summarise what this is all about please.

Well I was just back on here and trying to suss out if Tinkerville had unearthed some more intelligent posters. Well the first deliberate error that I made was to miss out the R but in the good old days in Bloemfontein I was IHE and he was simply JJ - The proper spelling of his surname is Tolkien actually I do humbly apologise as i forgot that the Gollums of Ross-shire need to access Literature by watching images or pictures due to the mass illiteracy problem. And if you are alluding to allegory then I suggest you refer to Mr Tokely in line with Pilgrims progress.

Does this thread not remind you of a JJ Tolkein classic ? It definitely has a link with the Lord of the Rings and hobbits. Didnt that end in tragedy as well?

I now fear that Tinkerville Town may not be relgation favourites fer much longer. Apparently they are in talks to bring Lee Hughes and Marlon King to Dungwall - a club spokesman has stated " We are looking to build a squad full of diverse and varied personality disorders and deviants. Ross Tokely fits the domestic violence role and we are keen to get a murderer and a rapist on board. It is a pity that we continue to struggle to attract a paedophile and are seriously considering taking back Tony Bullen".

Bring on the Elgin - bring on the S*****o - the REAL enemy.

Come along to the game on Saturday and listen to the glorious Caley chants of olde - The North Stand will be the Howden End resurrected - but twice the numbers and double the volume. Come on the Caley. The Howden End Will Never Die - watch fer the flag.

My fave ditty which changed slightly over the years - to the tune of My old Mans a Dustman was: My old man said be an Elgin fan - We said Feck aff Bollicks yer a cnut - We took the Jail End in half a minute - We took the Briggs with the S*****o in it - We hammered the Huntly, the Vale and the Peterhead - but when we play the Thistle - We fight to the final whistle - cos we are the Howden End - cue the CALEY chant. OR - There was a house in West Drive - The worst house in the town - The Stewarts, the Dyces they lived there - And partook of the Four Crown - Now I have had five bottles and a can of Heinz Baked Beans - and as I walked outside of that Ferry slum - I puked over my new blue jeans. OR - I supported the Caley for many a year and I spent all my money on whisky and beer but this year I'm rejoicing like no year before - cos we never will play the Ross County no more. - and I still feckin sing it !!

Quickly - ICT have had bigger away supports on a few occasions but nothing to match that nite in Perth - that was unique and will never be matched. So what about yer best Caley X1 - looks like we are bridging the generations here. MacKenzie Davidson Presslie Andrew Noble Penman Allan F.Neild Johnston Urquhart McKintosh Subs - Stapelton, B.Neild, Summers

Firstly I would have to say that Caley could have but Thistle could'nt have. That is why the Merger was so bitter and ultimately so unfair. But, in retrospect it was a deal done behind closed doors and the fans were told - or probably directed and/or led - after the fact. I will leave it at there but all I can say is that I was living in Lancashire and travelled North fer that game with some English mates - and they could not believe the support that night and still talk about it - It was a night of total lads and we simply rocked the place - If Billy Urquhart had headed home the late headed chance I reckon some of us would still be pished in Perth today. We are Blue - were white - Were feckin dynamite.

Got this response from an old Jeggie: The Inverness Football Times (1904 - 1976) are available for inspection at the British Library Newspaper Library which has one of the world's largest collection of football related newspapers and magazines.... Wow - I have two weks holidays owing. But would that not be feckin orgasmic ?

I've been on the feckin piss fer 40+ years - of course I am feckin fat. The wee man came to a few Caley games with me as well - I snuggled up to him in the Howden End and taught him a few songs and sneaked him a wee Scotsmac while his Dad and co. stood on the sidelines beside the old tea shed. I could have feckin killed the little cnut at Pittodrie - I told him that there wa no feckin way that I was going into the Rangers End - He asked me fer some money to buy a programme - the little tawt came back with a King Billy feckin scarf. So I went into the Beach End - used to be the Away end - it was feckin sweltering - but I had to keep ma feckin Harrington on cos underneath was a feckin sleeveless T- shirt and a Cellic tattoo. Half way through the second half this feckin Beast said to me "I feckin hate cnuts like you - You sit there all day long and you dont sing along - Give us a feckin song" - So - I stood up and started off the Sash. There was an ICT report in the P&J about the Stirling Cup game which said " The Inverness travelling support were in fine voice, strangely led by a middle aged, grey haired man with a Celtic tattoo". Feckin wicked !! As I said I can understand why you dont follow ICT and why you stay away - That is your choice. I have made up mine but my "mind set" truly is that I am supporting the Caley - That is what I call them, that is what I sing. But I never had any hate or problem EVER with the Jeggies - I will forever HATE Ross County and Elgin - they were our RIVALS - and as I said it tickles me and others that I often start off the 02B chant - plus the fact it pisses of the Tinks who used to sing it as a wind up. But Hey listen - you lot say keep it in the past - That is where ma memories are - the blurred memories as northernscum says. Those were the days. But my favourite ICT Chant is _ "The Howden End is in the sky - The Howden End will NEVER die - repeat - THE CALEY". All I need is the Nickelodeon Song and the Lets take a little walk and 2009 could be 1979. I AM CALEY TILL I DIE B)

Cheers lads - wish I had kept my copies of the Football Times now. As fer the originals - Rodger died in a train fall accident - Norman has died - Sandy goes to ICT and became a feckin Jeggie fitness coach - Arnie still follows the Dee and refuses to go to the Dump : even when he is drunk !! - Nicky has gone South - Willie is a *** season ticket holder and did play a couple of games fer the first team - Davie is an Airdrie man and under the thumb - Neil "Tarzan" owns Inverness Tyres and is an ICT season ticket holder (boo!!) - John Duncan is still sitting in the Gellions !! By the way my real name is Johndo MacKenzie and I was in the Caley squad fer a couple of seasons but due to drinks, drugs and rock n'roll I only ever played two pre season friendlies fer Caley - but I did have Allan and Penman in front of me and Presslie covering me (orgasm time!!) We basically grew up, got married, had kids, moved away (I now live in Chorley Lancs), feckin died and gave up fiting. Most of us continued to go to the games - mainly Tarzan, Willie and Arnie - we were all there on the day we finally played the Jeegies and we all joined into the singing in the Howden End. When I played in the seconds we were coached by the Neild brothers and some of the names that I remember were Mike Hurry, Frankie Watt, Billy Urquhart ( remember him ), Andy Smith, Daisy Davidson (Roddy's oldest brother), Jeff McDonald, Billy McKintosh, George Jojo Mclean, Rockers Davidson. We beat Putridheid 4-0 to win the League when we hit McDuff.

Well I am in my fifties now and the alcohol has soddened ma recollect but no ma memories - where can ya get the fixtures and results of yesteryear ? Note that LSM mentioned the Animals and they are known as a feared crew - well actually we started off as yer regular bunch of pissheads. We started in a spell of Jeggie supremacy in the early 70's. In circa 1973/74 we sat in the Fluke and created the Animals. If I recall it was the sozzled idea of Norman Gordon. The others were Willie Fraser, Sandy Rose, Nicky Evans, Colin Arnott, Rodger McDonald, John Duncan, Neil Findlay, Davie Frame and ma good self. The original idea was to go together to games - home and away with the sole aim of getting totally blootered. We also all supported the bigger clubs down South and all though we were a mixture of Rangers (mostly), Celtic, Airdrie, Dundee, Aberdeen and even Ipswich we would travel down together to the big teams if Caley were playing some crap like Rothes or Lossie cos we always tanned them by double figures or close to that in those days. The Train trips to Tinkerville and Borough Briggs plus the better supported Highland League teams blossomed. We even had our own run down minibus. We never really went out looking fer a scrap but we usually ended up in one - and that was down to the inciting 2-3 I may add. Norman Gordon made badges fer lapels and scarves epitomising the Howden End and the Animal Aggro was enthused. The outcome was that many peeple joined us on our travels or congregated with us at games. Most of us just wanted to get back to the pub after but if a rammy went off we got the feckin acclaim !!! Mainly when we exchanged ends at half time as has been said on this thread before. The night out in McDuff when we won the league in the late seventies was wild to the extreme - possibly the best ever feeling of togetherness that I have ever experienced. We went to Hellgin in the Cup on a special Train - loaded with a carry out. We tried to find another pub and walked into Woolies - the whole feckin train followed us - Woolies was trashed and there were Caley boys flying down the hill to the ground with chains and lead pipes and baseball feckin bats. We ambled away at the back and we got all the acclaim as the Animals ran the S*****o. That is enuff fer one night. I'll be feckin incontinent in a minute.

Well - there just on the feckin wind up arent they. I aint naming names but some of the Caley boys on here should just live in the past and enjoy the memories and feck the bitterness of the present. And most of us supported a "big" team in the pre merger days - and many still get on the buses to motor South on a weekend. I simply prefer to support a Sneck based outfit. I aint going to join in the Caley baiting - I still regard myself as a true Caley man - I stayed away from the Dump fer three years - I gave money to the cause. Perhaps I am a traitor or perhaps my way of dealing with it is simply pretending that it is the Caley that I am following. I still put the feckin kilt on and sing and sing and sing. You may not approve but I can chant O2B - It feckin tickles me - its only a feckin song - but I never hated the Jeggies - most of my mates are ex Jeggies - in many ways them poor cnuts were more fecked by the merger than any one. But I still hate County and Elgin with a vengeance. I cant believe that some cnuts actually support the Tinks !! The ICT away support can be entertaining - the home support is lamentable at times - It is a bit like watching Meadowbank at the Commonwealth Stadium - that was the weirdest day feckin ever - from my perspective ya will never beat a night in a packed Howden end signing the old songs and often partaking in a smuggled in bottle of Pomagne or Scotsmac. And the glorious midweek train journeys to Lossie, Rothes, Deveronvale etc. And the Football specials to Elgin and Dingwall. Have to say that our stop off in McDuff on the way home from winning the league in Fitlike land was the best nite ever. Just as good as the clash with the fishermen when we changed ends at half time. Now changing ends at half time - even when there was a good crowd - was entertainment in itself. By the way - Do you want to know the true story of the Animals ?? - It may actually crush a few myths !!

I have just read all the pages and this is a feckin great yet frustrating thread. It has brought back great memories fer me and I will not disgrace the Caledonian Memorial thread by mentioning the new breed. I was first taken to Telford Street in 1957 as a babe in ma feckin pram amd my Dad told me that the pulled off ma nappy and let me piss at the back of the Howden End - I did it a few more times after the that. There are some genuine Caley fans on here and some fantasists as well. I take it that the Howden Ender is AD - the wee boy whos father asked me to look after him at away games and who I took to his first *** game in Aberdeen. I sense that the rest know me and respect me as a true Howden Ender - even if they may call me a traitor in the stand now - but I initially backed the anti merger protests and I bet I put more money in the anti merger fund coffers than most on here. And most of us in the good old days followed the Bigger teams - mainly the OF and Aberdeen - and many still decry ICT but follow the **** and the ****. What really gets to me is that some - including AD - follow the feckin Tinks and welcome the gypsies on to this Memorial threads. We never hated the feckin Jeggies - they were never a threat - we ran with the Ferry and the Clachers - we hated Elgin and the Tinks - we fecked the S*****o and the Jail End on many a day - we went to the Red Shoes and the Strath to follow that up as well. Have to say that the best "crew" was from Huntly and they ran us a couple of times. No TRUE Howden Ender would sit in Viccy Park and support the Tinks - Feckin sacriledge. My best mates at school were Billy Urquhart and Davie Milroy - and I now often sit and reminisce about the old days with them when WE watch the old breed - and I often see Roddy Davidson, Wilsy, Donald Park et al as well. And my favourite ICT song is - "The Howden End will never die - The Howden End is in the Sky". And I sang it walking down the road to Govan - what a feckin buzz - **** 0 Caley 1

What a feckin brilliant thread - and here I am - founder and leader of the famous Caley Animals - and now the Immortal One who has taken off the merger blinkers and sings the old songs from the glory days of the Howden End, watching the Caley stuff the Old Firm over and over. Relegation Party - ya will get a feckin telegram from the Queen first. O2B.