SaltyTON

Have you seen his record in competitive football? A hat trick in a friendly against a team playing their first game of pre-season means nothing!

Falkirk look awful at the back, the second Boro goal was hilarious! Four defenders tried stop a guy who hasn't scored a senior league goal.

They were boring as f**k. Punch, punch, punch, punch, punch, Batman falls down, Batman gets back up, punch, punch, punch, for minutes on end.

Seriously what the f**k is that thing? Looks like this guys sister!

In the last few days since I last posted I've watched: Wrong Turn 4 (2011) - 6/10 Far better than the last two sequels, snowmobiles in horror films always lead to hilarious death scenes. Jackie Chan's First Strike (1996) - 6/10 Jackie Chan in a funny hat beating up criminals, what's not to like? Gulliver's Travels (2010) - 6/10 A former luchador that taught music at high school gets attacked by little people. Funny in parts, although Jack Black is the same person in EVERY film! The Dark Knight Rises (2012) - 8/10 Decent, but not as good as the first two Nolan films in the franchise. Was boring in parts, especially the fight scenes with Bane which went on for ever and were just tedious fist fights.

I've heard of them. Don't eat them very often though. Not a rabbit.

Search back a couple of pages... It's better than the previous two. Good fun!

The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) Far better than the Raimi version and getting back to the way that he was in the comics, with robotics controlling his web-slinging abilities. Garfield is far better as Parker than Maguire ever was, and Stone was more believable as his girlfriend than Dunst was. 8/10 ======================= Rohtenburg (2006) Known as Grimm Love in the UK. I honestly can't give this a fair ranking, I'm still a little shaken up by it, so it obviously did what it set out to do. It's about an American student writing her thesis about Oliver Hartwin, who we will all remember as Armin Meiwes, the German cannibal who advertised on the internet for his victim. It's shot from her searching around his old house, but in every room we see flashbacks to the life and story of Hartwin. Then she posts a message on the internet to get hold of the video he recorded as he murdered and consumed his victim. The film was banned in Germany for a while but no longer, and has an 18 certificate despite nothing obvious happening on screen. It really managed to capture the mood of Meiwes and Bernd Jurgen Brandes. 9/10 - it wasn't a masterpiece by any means, but it certainly managed to achieve a very dark and sinister feeling without relying on gore, bad language or nudity.

Completed the second episode of the Walking Dead. I like this wee point and click game, it's good for just chilling as doesn't have much in it that is time sensitive.

The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977) Amusing spoof, but not funny enough to keep my attention. Was browsing the net and stuff at the same time, as the jokes got a bit repetitive and lasted too long per scene. 6/10

SyFy double feature tonight... Collision Earth (2011) The sun turns into a magnetar for some reason, which in turn magnetises Mercury causing magnetic reactions all over Earth. James (whose wife Victoria is onboard a spacecraft that was orbiting Mercury) has only 18 hours to get a secret government planetary defence system (that he was fired from) up and running before it is too late. It makes 2012 seem plausible, but it is a fun wee film with some hilarious deaths combined with comical CGI. 5/10 Followed up by Nazis at the Center of the Earth (2012) Oh God, we've got Jake Busey in this... I fear the worst already! Will the title be misleading? It featured James Maxwell Young as Adolf Hitler, James died from a brain tumour last month not long after finishing the film. I thought Christopher Karl Johnson did a pretty good job playing Josef Mengele, although I loved the surprise that they didn't bring Hitler back to life per se... he became MechaHitler! 4/10

If you have Chrome as your browser, click on the little spanner in the top right. Then go to tools, then extensions. Click get more extensions and search for "remove timeline" and add the first option - bang, bye bye timeline.

Having been to a Bo'ness game, and heard their songs such as the sash and shouts of WATP, and having experienced the miners' club across from the ground, it all adds together suggests that perhaps the news hasn't reached Borrowstounness yet.

Completed Lego Batman 2: DC Superheroes... that was LOOOOONG! At least got money's worth out of this one as it came out on June 21st. Plus I got a Lego Lex Luthor!

Another nonsense film watched on Sky Première tonight. Green Lantern (2011) Sheldon was right, Ryan Reynolds was a terrible choice for the Green Lantern. Despite this it was quite fun, although wondering who would be dumb enough to think he was a friend of Blake Lively as a child... he's a pensioner in comparison! 6/10

Burke and Hare (2010) Loads of British comedy performers in here appearing when you least expect them. I had hoped there'd be more of Bill Bailey but he was only really in it at the start and conclusion. It was the usual Simon Pegg stuff, him and Gollum worked quite well together as the notorious murderers. It was fun, a lot of crap acting but you didn't really expect anything else with comedians... 7/10

Same this morning but with some paracetamol on the side... feel much fuller than usual!

Craven or Iliadis version? ================= Watched a couple of films on the SyFy channel, so you know not to expect any sort of masterpiece and just take them for what they are. First up was a family adventure called Snowmageddon (2011) About a family in Normal, Alaska who have a snow globe left on their front doorstep, it has a replica of their town within and anything that happens in the snow globe happens in real life. Based on the idea of Pandora's Box, and in order to save the day they must return the snow globe to whence it came (of course a formally dormant volcano). An old story, but a nice little twist on it and the SyFy warning that this next film will contain scenes of panic was pretty funny. Good wee family film with effects that were far superior to their usual efforts. 7/10 Next up came Lost City Raiders (2008) starring James Brolin. The year is 2048, and much of the world is underneath the sea following an apocalyptic event. We've got the catholic church in the New Vatican trying to track down a sceptre which once belonged to Moses that could lower the global water levels. It's utter nonsense, but it was quite funny at times. 5/10

I went for two Lamotrigine (for epilepsy), a Fexofenadine (for high histamine levels) and a black coffee. Much healthier, but I suppose the coffee and the nicotine are both drugs that we're addicted to...

Got rid of the Timeline, makes reading Facebook so much easier!

Great fun. 8/10 even if it was in 3D... Also saw Legion (2009) on Sky Films the other day when the France game got into weather difficulties... 6/10

You realise you're friends with a man who has a fake diamond stud in his ear and a form of falafel written on his arm.

It's got Ron Perlman in it, the instant sign that a film is going to suck! It's got Danny Trejo in it though, so on to download it goes! It was 2012, btw...

Completed De Blob Revolution for the WP7. Getting to level 3000 sapped my soul!

Murder-Set-Pieces (2004) Banned in the UK for reasons I don't really understand, unless just generally being shit and banning it to protect the dignity of horror legends Tony Todd and Gunnar Hansen are valid enough reasons for the BBFC. The only positives were the cameos by the guys I just mentioned, their appearance on the screen was the bright spark of this crap. 2/10