Dr Koop

That reminds me of a migraine aura I once had.

Did he not chuck it?

Not about the football, which was unspeakably mince. When the season started, teams were required (as best I recall) to have 10,000 seats to be allowed to take part in the league. The SPL could have relaxed that daft and costly rule at the start of the season.

I'm guessing the 2003/04 season, which was shite at Firhill with a whiff of saving grace of stadium criteria. The stadium rules changed ...

Hmm, it’s a bit Jack McLaughlin and Thingummyjig.

Hmm, an exciting new range of Thistle scarves (not).

When will that happen?

That'll be another fun-packed, rip-roaring vote, will it not?

Said the P&B contributor with the second most preposterous handle.

I’m sure the rules regarding promotion to and relegation from leagues where what may be markedly different seasons are played will be scrupulously observed come next May.

Andrew Morton's 17 Carnations. Bloody Windsors ...

I am sure there'll be just as much knicker-wetting about Celtic 'B' versus the Rangers 'B' in the meeja when the 'parent' clubs are not booting each other up in the air.

As in, 'who do we want shot of'?

The fourth Bee-Gee. Top fella.

Finder's fee, perhaps.

'Partick ace'.

Would any of our resident Cumbernauld experts care to share an opinion on seaside standards there?

I'd enjoy watching that but after three years of horror shows from Thistle, I'm not confident.

No shit.

No, it wouldn't.

Erm, wut?

Thank you very much.